The sale of firearms locally is on the rise because of the budget.

“People are coming in and saying, ‘I want to buy a gun today,’” Barrett said. “We’re specifically seeing people say, ‘I want it because I’m not going to be able to get the protection that I need from the sheriff’s department.’”

This can’t miss. Luckily, folks will not be able to conceal these weapons …

Faced with the potential loss of more than 200 deputies due to budget cuts, McGinness said earlier this month that he may consider issuing more concealed weapons permits.

So, we have this going for us. From the comments area:

People have to be able to protect themselves and their families!!! Yes, case studies are proven about when honest, law abiding citizens are armed and ready that crime does go down.

I wonder if case studies would also prove that if folks installed a soft serve ice cream machine in their kitchen obesity would go down.

If you were to read an article about how most Sacramento parks will be closing their bathrooms (you know, because of the budget) next week would you wonder to yourself, “Bathrooms? I don’t follow.”

Cbs13.com hears your concern and helps you out with a little image to help.

What about an article that reports on a man performing lewd acts near a playground?

Officers say they found 35-year-old Alfonso Valladarez “gyrating his hips in the grass,” as if he was having sexual intercourse.

Hmm, playground, eh? What’s the big deal? Once again, Cbs13.com is there.

Do I need to see a photo of children playing at sunset while I read about a man gyrating his hips in the grass as if he was having sexual intercourse while looking toward the playground? No, I do not. In fact, just typing that sentence makes me want to vomit.

Turns out, according to Maria Shriver, that most Californians want it all.

“Don’t close the parks, don’t cut from education, don’t cut from health care, don’t cut from anything,” said Shriver, amplifying what people tell her. “I say, ‘We have a $25 billion deficit: What would you do?’”

I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!

Uh, er, sorry about that … she goes on to say:

…nearly everyone replies that they don’t want to pay higher taxes and don’t have any of their own ideas about what parts of government to cut.

Really? Nearly everyone, eh? No suggestions? Drawing a complete blank? I am sure that nearly everyone of the 10 to 15 people that read this here web log semi-regularly have an opinion or two on this topic.

What say you, Raggers?

Have you noticed how everyone’s favorite new crutch phrase is “because of the budget” to justify/explain away everything that is going wrong in our state? It only recently surpassed “due to the recent economic downturn” and totally leap-frogged “and the worst has yet to come” to reach the top spot.

The best example I’ve seen lately is from this article about the potential for public urination in our city and county parks with the closure of restrooms.

“We’re going to have heavy cuts to our park staff and our park maintenance and also to our recreation,” Combs said. “We’ll be closing community centers and pools and children’s programs. All the decisions are difficult. We regret this, but right now that’s what we’re forced to do because of the budget.”

In case you heard about this story and thought, hey, what the heck, I think I will relieve myself in the rose garden at McKinley Park, you better think again. The Sacramento police are on to you:

Sacramento police Sgt. Norm Leong said park visitors will simply have to plan ahead if the bathrooms are closed. Anyone caught going to the bathroom in parks may be cited, he added.

Right, as long as nothing happens to the number of police officers patrolling these areas we should be safe from public pee’rs.

We love to pile on the problems we have in this town. Heck, the Sac Rag fortune was created off that simple idea. But, from time to time, we should consider the problems other cities have that we will never have to worry about.

For example, “Chief blames ‘knuckleheads’ for Lakers disturbance.”

Looting and vandalism that broke out in the aftermath of the Los Angeles Lakers’ basketball championship won’t keep the city from celebrating the team’s victory …

See, don’t you feel better now? Have your own? Feel free to comment it.

The online scene in Sacramento today is especially entertaining …

From the Home page of cbs13.com:

Last week, we brought you a story about an accused shoplifter who used a baby as a shield against law enforcement in the parking lot of a strip mall. We have since learned the alleged shoplifting crime happened inside a Ross store, not a Marshalls as previously reported. We are sorry for any confusion caused by the initial report.

When I first read that story last week I thought, “No way!”, and it turns out my spidey-sense was right. Now, the only confusion I have is about the future of the human race.

From sacbee.com:

Editor’s Note: Comments on this story have been removed because too many users have violated our rules against personal attacks.

And from our very own web log:

Went to Barret Junior High with Lisa Ling. Stuck up snotty bitch who did everything possible to make life hell for the few kids who went there that were poor, like myself. Doesn’t have anything to do with her sister, just wanted to put that out there …

We haven’t had to use it in a while, but I think today it’s worth dusting off …

Stay classy, Sacramento.

Because someone had to get the word out on this thing, Congresswoman Doris Matsui stepped up and sent me an email today detailing tomorrow’s transition to digital television.

As we get ready to switch to digital television, I want you to be prepared. I have provided a series of resources on my website to help answer any questions you may have. Please see my Digital TV Transition Guide if you have any questions or concerns, and please see below for the schedule of transition for each television station in Sacramento:

Thanks, Doris. At least now I won’t be TOTALLY ambushed by this change. On the good side, the mayhem that should ensue will keep our minds off the economy for a few days.

Here’s an interesting article from the UK about California discontinuing the use of textbooks in the classroom in favor of digital media. You will quickly notice how we are viewed in other parts of the world after the third or fourth movie pun.

“Our kids get their information from the internet, downloaded onto their iPods, and in Twitter feeds to their cell phones … Basically. kids are feeling as comfortable with their electronic devices as I was with my pencils and crayons.”

I am sure this is true in many cases, but will the government require kids to have iPods, cell phones, and computers connected to the Internet to access these digital textbooks?

Mr Schwarzenegger has ruled out tax increases to make up the shortfall. He said in a statement that he would concentrate on getting better value for money for the state, reconsidering everyday purchases just as ordinary families were having to do during the recession.

What a unique idea. It sort of makes you want to do the Running Man, er, or go Commando, or, or have Twins …

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Bienick doing his best
Sasquatch impersonation

I know this is old news, but I couldn’t help but chuckle while watching the video of KCRA’s Dave Bienick chasing down Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson’s SUV yesterday.

A few minutes later, the SUV pulled away and went to the back of the building. KCRA 3 also went to the back of the building to wait.

At that point, the SUV drove away and went back to the front of the building. KCRA 3 followed, arriving just in time to see Johnson hop into the vehicle and ride away.

Bienick called for Johnson to stop, but he did not.

By the way, I’d love to “Watch live coverage of Mayor Kevin Johnson’s weekly news conference at City Hall, during which he will discuss a possible obstacle to Sacramento receiving federal stimulus money.” but how many flippin’ Firefox plugins do I need to get this stuff to work? Here’s the follow up story.

At any rate, well done, Dave.

With the overwhelmingly lukewarm response to previous editions of Make Us Laugh, I thought it would be fun to throw this one out there. Comment with your witty snark and we’ll let you know who made us laugh.

Man Arrested for Exposing Himself Every Wednesday

An Arbuckle man has been arrested for allegedly exposing and fondling himself in public every Wednesday for at least the last several weeks, according to the Colusa County Sheriff’s Department…They say he’d stand at a window inside his home and exposed and fondle himself. The undercover officer arrested Sweet after witnessing his alleged crimes.

Shocker, I know, there’s a typo in the article.