Ok Raggers, I am in the middle of an attempted hairstyle  renaissance.  The problem is that for years I’ve only gotten quick and easy chop-shop jobs in Sacramento.  I have no go-to stylist or barber and now need to find someone who’ll do a good job with men’s hair.

And at an affordable price- I can’t spend more than what my wife spends or else marital discourse will ensue.

So any suggestions of people/places to go who can do something fun and stylish? I don’t think my last haircutter understood anything but “Number 3 on the sides and back.”

As I was perusing Craigslist for some concrete work that I need done on my house (please let me know if you’ve got a guy that knows a guy), I came across this delightful advertisement.  Despite reading it 5 times, I still have no idea what it’s for.  Word for word, here it is:

Females Looking for Yard/Irrigation Repairs For You: - $75 (Sacramento/Placer So Co)

---

Reply to: sale-674644247@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-05-09, 3:27PM PDT

You have tried meny Contractors Refuse to come to Your Small Yards:
Small leaks one Sprinkler Head,Pipes,need Low-Voltage Lights for your Walkway,
Bark Yard Spa, Pool,Check-Out that Time Clock,Pruning Shrubs Over Grown weeds
Clean-up new Bark,Rock Redo. Then haul to Dump max 1-Load. House,Duplexs,Rental or Own it.
Just like to Really Barter Your Services as a Lic. [CMT] Massage Tec for
this trained person Labor hour for hour work Back Massage,Deep Pressure,Tissue,Rock,Swedish Rock Style Therapeutic or Total[FSBM] Yes:
Sorry materials non-negotable and cost of dump fees or excess Materials
Bark,Sod,Rock work or any possible 2,000 sq.Ft hydroseeding work:
Not interested in any Equal Value Trading for P/C work,Add promotion work,T-shirts,hats etc. Only-Females Barters for [CMT] Massage Work performed with-in
24-48 hrs after Labor work performed for You in Landscape,Irrigation Repairs:
***No Visa or M/C accepted for any other work performed only cash or checks
Work that exceed upto $300.00-$2,500.00 value: Call Monday-Saturday 7:30 A.M.
-6:00 P.M. Daily for Serious Callers at [916] 402-5783: Yes I do make Special
appointments as needed for estimates on Sundays Only: All estimates are Written in clear English for all Barter work also. 11 Years in Greater Sacramento County Area: If line Busy you can either email or call Direct Voicemail [916] 553-9806: Leave messages with name,phone no. for quick return calls: Note; emails please add your address with your return phone No.
Thank You:

As best as I can figure it, I can either: 1) Get a massage in exchange for landscaping; 2) Get landscaping in exchange for a massage; or 3) Get sprinklers repaired, a retaining wall built, and a hot-rock massage all by the same company.

Note delicious irony that “All Estimates are Written in clear English.”

Any other interpretations out there?

This is The Sac Rag’s 1500th post. –CoolDMZ

After working all weekend excavating about 10 tons of dirt and clay from my East Sac home, I kicked back with a bucket of chicken from our local KFC:
View Larger Map

This fact gives me my Sacramento tie-in to a delightful story that I just had to share with the rest of the ‘Raggers:

Those of you who have gmail know of the targeted ads posted on the sides of your inbox that “correspond” to the subject of your emails. After writing to one of my Nintendo contacts requesting some information, I noticed a target ad that stated “Like Super Mario Bros.? You’ll love this” with a hyperlink to a flash-based game for the PTEA-sponsored site Kentucky Fried Cruelty, adorably titled “Super Chick Sisters.”

From a quick perusal of Kentucky Fried Cruelty, it looks to be a celebrity-promoted, anti-delicious fried chicken, website spearheaded by the great philanthropist/philosopher Pamela Anderson. Thankfully Pammie also brought her think-tank of great minds to support her cause, including: Pink, Ryan Gosling, and Rev. Al Sharpton. Worthy of note is that the Dalai Lama is also one of those in Pam’s entourage who does not dig on the Colonel, which stunned me because I didn’t even realize that they had KFC’s in Dharamsala, India- go figure.

Continue reading “Finger Clickin’ Good” »

Just got this news over the ‘Wire’ that Runaway Stage Productions is still looking for a few good men and women for their upcoming production of “Cabaret” (now in rehearsals).

Performances are 2/29 (that’s a Leap Year Day!) thru 3/23, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.

For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of taking in a Runaway Stage production, let me assure you that from a community theater perspective- they are top-notch. Far and away, they are one of the best local theaters in the Sacramento area- and totally cleaned house at last year’s Elly Awards for their production of “Chicago.”

An Absolutely FABULOUS Press Release after the break

Continue reading “Audition Notice: Channel your inner-Liza” »

So news that happens in Vacaville is nearly out of the border for SacRag reporting, but this is too tasty of a story to pass up.

Vacaville police are warning residents to be cautious of electronic scams that have been occurring in the area after a man was arrested attempting to pass off shrink-wrapped oven doors as state-of-the-art plasma HDTVs. Apparently, authorities were alerted after a frugal shopper discovered that the “high-definition television” being sold out of the back of a blue Integra was not, as advertised, “the deal of the century.”

Also featured for won’t-be-undersold prices: Laptop computer boxes full of flooring tile.

Now I’m always looking for a good deal on electronics- but somehow my Spider-Sense would start tingling if the deal was to be found in the trunk of a crappy Acura in the middle of Vacaville. Really- who’s falling for this? Or has my Sacramento “big city” street-smarts made me too cunning of an adversary for these flimflammers?

Ok, this is getting a little ridiculous.

I remember a time when the Ferrari was an unattainable God-among-automobiles-  Where the vision of them could only be seen on posters and car magazines.  But now it seems like every time I run an errand around Sac, there’s another one zipping by me.

Continue reading “Sacramento: Ferrari Capital of North America?” »