But beware of parking leprechauns! All Ol’ Sac streets will be closed, so make plans to slide in on a rainbow or use your feet.

The event is hosted by the Old Sacramento Business Association. For more details, visit their website: http://www.oldsacramento.com/events-and-activities-detail.php?id=127.

In lieu of my semiannual rant about Daylight Saving Time, I thought I’d share this photo I took at the grocery store today in Sacramento, CA.

In addition to tweaking the design, SacMix.com founder Tim White has added hundreds of new listings in outlying areas from Davis to Rocklin, and added additional sorting on the food and drink specials. Other updates will be coming soon, including improved navigation and more specific content on the locations and deals. It’s a great site for quick listings of all the hot spots, and it’s now extremely useful for those off the grid. Cheers!

The show will take place at the Memorial Auditorium. Let’s show Team Coco how wonderful Sacramento can be! Tickets can be purchased here.

You can’t save yourself, but for god sake, save your garden! Throw some old sheets over those tender greens tonight.

May the lord save your soul—and your cilantro!

I’m planning take a look at the candidates for the 5th district (my district) in more detail in the next few weeks, in a humorous but fair and balanced manner. So, you know, stay tuned for that.

Boring food calls for wacky PR stunts, like child shrinking

I am, however, highly amused by the PR 101 tactics being employed to attract attention. Bands of Sacramento, are you ready for the big time? Are you ready to ROCK SMASHBURGER? (The caps indicate that you are supposed to mentally read that phrase in your most rocking DJ voice. I choose to hear Shadoe Stevens in my head at his most Fred Rated extreme.)

As if playing the opening of a fast food restaurant isn’t enough, Smashburger found a way to make this deal even more delicious. Do you want to (cue Shadoe) PLAY FOR FREE? That’s right, you can live up to your punk rock ethos and play for nothing but burgers. Since the website won’t even tell you how many burgers you will win, I am guessing that it ain’t too many. Winners will be decided by popular vote, which completely ignores the specific contest instructions that the bands be BURGER LOVING. If picked as a celebrity judge, I would use a three-part matrix to evaluate the musicians:

5 points Musicianship
5 points Condiment Implementation
5 points Hamburger Puns

Recommended tunes include Beast of Burger, The Meat is On, Whole Lotta Lunch, Slip Slider Away, Pour Some Ketchup on Me, Here Comes the Bun, and anything by The Bacon Brothers, G Love and Special Sauce, or The Fat Boys.

“Our old courtesy signs were several years old and were showing their age,” said Flannery. “Our old signs also had a lot more wording, and because we realized that most trail users reasonably wouldn’t take the time to read the entire sign, we cut the words by half.”

And people still won’t read/follow them. Anyone that has had to do anything that involves people of any kind should know by now that you can’t win no matter what you do. On the Parkway, at the grocery store, you name it. People just suck.

This is about the time of year where the Parkway etiquette debate heats up. The Parkway, like The Sac Rag, follows the “if you live here, you know” slogan.

And chances are, if you give a Pesci a gambling license... (read on, it makes sense)

• Sunday, March 7: Family Concert with the Camellia Symphony Orchestra. On Sunday the Camellia Symphony Orchestra holds a free concert in the Library Galleria at 2 pm. But the coolest part happens before the concert, when the orchestra will present an “instrument petting zoo” to allow the kiddies to get up close to different instruments. I’m not sure how much actually petting they will allow but there will definitely be a chance to get up close and personal and “see how the instruments are played.”
• Friday, March 12: Meet Children’s Author Laura Numeroff. I’m sure that the author of “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” is not well-known outside the world of parents of little ones, but inside that world this is basically like an appearance by Martin Scorcese, if you replace Italian-American history with feeding snacks to various wildlife. She’ll be reading from her new book “The Jellybeans and the Big Book Bonanza” and fielding questions from the kids(!)
• Thursday, March 18: The Voetberg Family Band. If you dig on bluegrass music, and aren’t creeped out by immense families, you might want to check out the Voetberg Family Band. This is a gaggle of 8 siblings who do some mean fiddlin’ (20 regional fiddling championships and one National Young Adult Fiddle Championship between them!) and perform a sweet mix of bluegrass and Celtic. I’m no Jello Biafra but I like to think of myself as musical, and what parent who is slightly musically inclined doesn’t daydream of forming a family band and touring around in a camper from one folk music festival appearance to the next over the course of one crazy summer?

For more information:

• Sacramento Public Library Programs & Events

And who could blame them? An all-star line-up of female celebrities turned out to support their pal and our First Lady, Maria Shriver for her big Day at the Museum, a free event sponsored by The Governor and First Lady’s Women’s Conference in honor of Women’s History Month. Everyone from Iron Chef Cat Cora and Lisa Ling to Erin Brockovich and Rita Moreno were on hand to celebrate the accomplishments of California’s women (including their own).

If the renowned company alone wasn’t enough to spark your enthusiasm, all the inspiration in the room surely did. Poems were recited. Meals were cooked. Books were read. Photos were displayed. Artists painted. Tears were shed. Proud voices were raised in praise. There were also men speedily taking notes, trying to soak up every wise word that was uttered. Short of singing “Kumbaya,” this was one emotional-filled day!

Does all this mean that Sacramento has become the new L.A.? I wouldn’t be at all surprised if L.A.’s influentials made this their new favorite hang-out after such an incredible day of Sac-style hospitality.

Indeed, local powerhouses like Biba Caggiano and Univision 19 anchor Johanna Suarez stood side by side on this dream team. In the end, it was a spectacular day of inspiration and empowerment, but for this GreenBeet, it demonstrated one important thing: we’ve got a whole host of powerful women right here in Sac Town. Sacramento will always be our own shining L.A. (Only without the bling and limos, thank you very much).

I am sure a billboard for Chili's is coming soon

When Sacramentans are faced with adversity (like the recent economic downturn) they often times know how to make the most of a bad situation. The would-be TGIF restaurant on Truxel Road has been an eye-sore for quite some time. The smart folks at Beach Hut Deli and Sport Clips saw this as an opportunity to promote their business in a high traffic area. Nice work.

I still can’t believe this location hasn’t been torched yet. Er, I mean, something horrible like an accidental fire.

A new player entered the crowded field of crappy music on the radio dial today as RADIO 94.7 launched at noon on the air and online.

RADIO 94.7 features music from artists like Red Hot Chili Peppers, Dave Matthews Band, Coldplay, Green Day, U2, Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Sublime, Nirvana, Linkin Park, Weezer and Stone Temple Pilots along with music from new bands like Muse, The Killers, Train, Kings of Leon and many, many others.

Many others, you say?

Radio947.net

Festivities also include yoga, chef demonstrations, basket weaving, Indian drumming, exhibits, music, you name it! You’ll be kicking yourself if you miss this grand affair. And you’ve gotta admit the price is right. Here are the details:

Location:  The California Museum, 1020 O Street, Sacramento, CA 95814.

Parking:   All-day parking is available for $5.00: 2311 6th Street, Sacramento CA 95818 between 6th and 8th Streets, and W and X Streets in downtown Sacramento. A free shuttle service will run between the lot and the Museum.

Check the event website for schedules and details.

It's worth watching again.

Of course, we all know that the announcement is that the San Francisco football Redwoods will be moving to Sacramento. I know, I know. Crazy, huh?

Coached by Dennis Green (of “…they are who we thought they were! And we let ‘em off the hook!” fame) and owned by Paul Pelosi (yes, that name does sound familiar) the Redwoods are one of four teams mixing it up in the semi-almost-better-than-arena-football league entering its second season.

“To fulfill the needs of football fans in major markets currently under-served by professional football by providing a high quality traditional football league comprised of world class professional football players. The UFL will serve its communities with pride, dedication and passion, and uphold a leadership role in the development of football worldwide. The UFL will provide every fan with an affordable, accessible, exciting and entertaining game experience.”

Hey, you never know, right? Will you go?

Apropos of nothing save the topic of it being Friday, I liked this lone and rather shapely evergreen (redwood, I believe?) standing strong in the rear of a business complex, competing with a satellite dish. Kicking its non-coniferous ass, I would say. Okay, this was also apropos of endowing non-bipedal things with the ability to “kick ass” twice this week.

(Forgive the crappy cellphone camera.)

You know you want to. Don’t hesitate any longer! Start making that dirty, dirty dirt! You know what I’m talking about. That’s right, baby. That thing that makes every girl smile: COMPOSTING!

Making dirt ain’t easy. You can’t just throw your scraps in a pile out your back door (unless you love rats). Indeed, there’s a science to the madness. It’s not rocket science, but an art nonetheless. 

Never fear! Help is near. Attend one of the following seminars, brought to you by the sexy City of Sacramento Department of Utilities Solid Waste Services, and you, too, will be making sweet dirt in no time.

You will also have the opportunity to put your fresh knowledge to use with a new, discounted Biostack compost bin, sold at each seminar for $65 (regular price: $129). If you haven’t been out shopping for a compost bin lately, this is a steal! My neighbor purchased hers for the bargain price of $300. My husband built my fancy-dancy 3-bin system with raw materials from the hardware store for $500. $65? You can’t beat that!

At each seminar, you’ll talk more than dirt. You’ll also learn about gardening basics, from cover crops to vegetable gardens. And the price of dirt love? Each seminar is FREE!

Excited yet? Here are the dates, times, and topics:

March 13, 2010 8 a.m.-10 a.m.
Southside Park Community Garden
5th and W Streets
Lecture Topic: Adding green manure/cover crops to garden

April 10, 2010 8 a.m.-10 a.m.
Fremont Community Garden
14th and Q Street
Lecture Topic: Planting summer vegetables

May 1, 2010 8 a.m.-10 a.m.
J. Neely Johnson Park Community Garden
516 11th Street
Lecture Topic: Planting summer vegetables

September 18, 2010 8 a.m.-10 a.m.
GEO Garden – Grant High School
1221 South Ave
Lecture Topic: Gardening for Youth

October 9, 2010 8 a.m.-10 a.m.
Southside Park Community Garden
5th and W Streets
Lecture Topic: Planting cover crops

Need more info? Here are some digits: call 311 or (916) 264-5011.

No reports of douchebaggery at Sacramento Beer Week

Independent of the great beer, food and fun, do you know what my favorite part has been?

No douchebags.

I have watched the douchebag trend grow at beer events over the past few years. They can be spotted waiting in line for an event holding an 18 pack of inexpensive ice beer, giving them the biggest buzz for the buck. By the time doors are opened, they have already drunk at least dozen beers and are ready to have unlimited craft beer for free. While at the event, they appear to experience fluctuations in their testosterone levels, resulting in communicating at unusually high volumes, mood swings, and occasional episodes of self-hypnosis. They often smell of gastro-intestinal distress, mistaking their aroma for an attractive musk. They often misplace their shirts.

Thankfully, Sacramento Beer Week seems to have slipped under their radar. The week is now half empty (or is it half full? Deep thoughts to consider over a beer with your friends.) and I look forward to hopefully enjoying the rest of the week in a douchebag-free environment.

Local band Ganglians have a session up today on Datrotter.com, one of my favorite sources for discovering new bands. The sessions on Daytrotter come with cool artwork (which shows up on your i-Whatever) and a spacey/poetic writeup.

The Ganglians, who rocked last year’s SXSW, have an intriguing and unique garage pop sound. The heavily reverbed vocals and hard, sometimes darker, psychedelic sounds will kick your ears’ ass. The ass of your ears. “Hair,” which I wrote about previously, is an amazing track from their self-titled debut, which is available for purchase…somehow…from Woodsist.

Ganglians: Heads Spinning Into Loops on Daytrotter.com

Safety never takes a holiday.

via RealityWanted.com

We are looking for real life experienced Security Guards to be part of a new reality series. Are you the toughest, boldest, no bs Security Guard? Are you a natural leader? We are looking for real people who are the biggest and most energetic security guards to be part of a new show taking place in Sacramento. We are not looking for actors. You must have experience working in security and you must already have the proper training. This casting is for Sacramento only, you must pay your own way if you live outside the Sacramento area.

I believe they are called Security Officers…

Man, who doesn't love pancakes?

* There is a limit of one free short stack per guest. The offer is valid at participating restaurants for dine-in only while supplies last and is not valid with any other offer, special coupon or discount.

Oh, and all they ask is that you consider making a donation to support local children’s hospitals through Children’s Miracle Network, or other local charities.

From news10.net, looks like Jack in the Box is in on the action, too.

Also on Feb. 23, Jack-in-the Box will kick in a free grilled sandwich when you buy a large soft drink. On the menu: the turkey bacon cheddar and deli trio sandwiches.

You’ve been warned, errr, uh, now you know!

Even though the price has changed, you’ll still find the same yummy, classic flavor that only the Girl Scouts know how to make. Get ‘em while they last!

On Saturday, February 20, 2010 at 10 am, the Old City Cemetery Committee will conduct a tour of brewer’s buried at the Sacramento Historic City Cemetery. This tour will serve as a “lead in” to Sacramento Beer Week and the Sacramento County Historical Society’s publication of Sacramento’s Breweries. The tour highlight will be pioneers who were associated with the Buffalo Brewery, but many other brewers will also be featured including Louis Keseberg, survivor of the Donner Party.

The tour commences at the Cemetery’s main gate at Broadway and 10th Street. Visitors may park across the street from the 10th Street Gate and meet at the cemetery entrance. Held under the auspices of the City of Sacramento Division of History & Science, the Old City Cemetery Committee, Inc. presents this tour as a public service. The tour is free, though donations for the restoration of the cemetery are greatly needed and appreciated.

For further information, call (916) 538-1849.

On Sunday, the Folsom Brewmeister hosts a day of brewing demonstrations.

Starting at 10 am, watch the Brewmeister’s resident BJCP Grand Master Kevin Pratt brew 10 gallons of California Common lager on their all-grain, homebrew system. The Gold Country Brewer’s Association will also join in with their B.O.A.T. (Brewery On A Trailer, a 45 gallon mobile brewery), brewing several other styles of beer.

This demo is free and will be highly informal and interactive for anyone curious about brewing. The brewing process will take about 5 hours, feel free to come and go as the day progresses. There will also be fresh wort for sale for those who want to try their hand at home fermentation.

SBW representatives will also be selling tickets to Sacramento Beer Week’s Inaugural Gala at the Colonial Theater on Monday.

Refreshments and BBQ will be available, and the Brewmeister is steps away from Folsom’s historic Sutter Street with pubs including Samuel Horne’s Tavern, The Cellar, Wine Styles, and Yager’s 727. Come meet some of the people central to Sacramento Beer Week’s success and gear up for SBW’s inaugural celebration.

Our own Stickie was interviewed for this week’s News & Review. Stickie and fellow beer lovers Chadd “The Chadd” McNicholas and Kassandra “The Kassandra” Sutherland talk about Sacramento Beer Week, which takes place next week starting Monday night at The Colonial Theater in the beautiful Tahoe/Oak Park area.

A Salute to Sacramento Beer History
6-9pm
$10, 21+ of course
Colonial Theater
3522 Stockton Boulevard

It looks like Kevin Martin will be traded to Houston today for two Rockets: Carl Landry and Joey Dorsey. Both are 6-8 “power forwards” and the Kings will also be giving up 3 other players. It seems like Tracy McGrady will probably end up with the Knicks, although there is an outside chance he’ll be coming here. I suppose if T-Mac ends up here it might be with another player from New York, but even Knicks fans don’t want Knicks on their team.

At some point this morning I am hoping I’ll wake up and this will all have been a terrible, terrible dream. As usual I have no idea what I’m talking about, and this Carl Landry fellow seems like he could end up being a great player, although he is the same age as Martin and Martin is already a star. But things must be pretty bad that the Kings couldn’t give K-Mart/#RekeROY even 30 games together. What do you all think (besides you, TS)?

UPDATE: McGrady is definitely heading to New York, Kenny Thomas is staying put, and we get Larry Hughes. Over at Fanhouse, ex-Ragger Tom Ziller analyzes the deal. I am trying to see the silver lining here and I guess Landry and some expiring contracts are that silver lining.