St. Francis H.S. alum Analeigh Tipton finished third in the 11th cycle of America’s Next Top Model tonight, which I believe means that she wins the ceremonial title of Greater Midwest’s Next Top Model and takes the national throne if and when the other two are unable to serve out their terms.

I’m honestly surprised that she didn’t at least finish second, though she did totally blow it toward the end there. I just never thought Samantha would get that far, considering she looked like an Applebee’s server and couldn’t walk on the runway, which as job skills go is crucial when you’re a model. However I have a history of being terrible at calling these things.

Even hair fashion has a local angle… Bee fashion writer Leigh Grogan covers the recent trend of longer hair being acceptable for women of all ages. Which personally I think is a triumph of the human spirit on par with “Babe” the talking pig or The Astronaut Farmer. At first I laughed to see Celine Dion, Gwynneth, Demi Moore (still alive), Nicole Kidman, and then Christina Mendonsa, but I suppose she does have the most fabulous hair among the local celebrity set. Although I was always partial to John Alston, though not in that way…

Bee fashion writer Leigh Grogan reports at 21Q that “several of Sacramento’s finest designers” will be traveling to L.A. to audition for season 4, which will debut later this spring. I know what you’re thinking: there are several?

It says “douchebag” in fancy letterin’

Let’s recover from the heated debates of the last two days with an even more controversial topic: Kings coiffery. It’s hard to argue about the immediate effect of Artest’s new ‘do, but it’s easy to argue about it being totally ridiculous or not. Discuss.

Associated Press/Charles Krupa

Well, the ride to fashion stardom is over for A.J., the America’s Next Top Model finalist from right here in Sactown, sent home last night by the judges. On these talent type shows, it’s always sort of questionable for me who goes in what order–for example, you know that almost all of the remaining girls have no shot: Anchal, Jaeda, the twins. So why A.J., and why now? Who knows.

I loved when she was opening up to Tyra about how it was going so far on the show and she said she was having trouble relating to the other girls. Somehow, I thought, that’s Sacramento for you. You can take the girl out of the town, but you can’t take the town out of the girl. Know your roots, girl! (And seriously, ditch that hat thing.)

NOTE: Seriously, my wife did not write this. You know how I know I’m snarky?….

I know I’m not the only heterosexual male–even on the Sac Rag staff–who would tell you that “America’s Next Top Model” is one of the most fun reality game shows ever. But if you’re not watching, now you have another reason, that’s right, The Local Angle. Her name is Sara from Davis, as in Davis, the city down the highway where you go to get used books and organic kale. She made it through the first two cuts in the Cycle 6 premiere last night, so she’s a regular on the show until she wins or gets booted by a panel of fashion celebrity judges including Tyra Banks herself and Twiggy (seriously).

To you fans out there: Do you think Sara has a chance? No clear front-runners in this cycle (for the record, I had Bre all the way last time around, and my wife correctly predicted Nicole early on). Sara got major props from Tyra during the first judging, and you do want to get on Tyra’s good side. Unfortunately Tyra will also turn on you like a friggen top, so anything goes. I’m gonna go out on a limb right off the bat and pick Leslie.

Ok, kissmekate, you’re officially off the hook. That is, my latest “enough already” thing is with energy drinks. It’s bad enough that you can’t find a picture of Demi Moore or Britney Spears NOT holding a can of this stuff, but now there are so many wannabe energy drinks hitting the market I just can’t take it. I thought Kabbalah Energy Drink was the worst of the worst (the link has a great review, btw, check it out) but today at Rite Aid on Alhambra I found a display of the all new Go Girl! energy drink.

Although Go Girl™ is not marketed as a mixer, many women enjoy it with vodka and other fun mixers. Go Girl™ is a functional drink that enhances the body and mind. If you have over indulged the night before try a Go Girl™.

Ugh.

UPDATE: As runnergirl1971 noticed, Go Girl is distributed by Nor-Cal Beverage Co. of West Sacramento. Apparently the drink is being well received. I guess there really is no accounting for lightly carbonated with a fruit-punch flavor, a natural herbal appetite suppressant, vitamins geared toward women, and about the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee, taste.

Next time somebody tries to tell you Sacto is an uncool “cow town,” point out to them that even our common criminals have hip urban style:

Midtown Robber Targets Women
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A series of armed robberies in downtown and midtown Sacramento has put women on alert. …

The victims stated that the man was relatively clean-cut and well dressed.

The man was described during one of the crimes as wearing a yellow, blue and white striped shirt with clear “J -Lo”-style sunglasses and blue jeans. (via KCRA)

Sure, this makes me feel good about the status of fashion sense among my city’s street crime, but am I supposed to keep tabs on J-Lo’s fashion line in order to help maintain justice on the streets? “Oh that guy running away with that lady’s purse might be a criminal, but those are clearly Cherokee brand shades from Target he’s wearing! How common!”