The Day the Lights Went Out in Southport

Spent an idyllic Sunday late morning at Dave’s Pumpkin Patch in West Sac. Did the usual family guy stuff; snapped some nice photos, petted farm animals, walked amongst the pumpkins, stared in horror as subdivisions actually appeared to spread into the farmland. The weather was wonderful, one of those days in Sac that makes you remember weather can actually be nice, rather than just a giant thumb pressing down on you every day. Didn’t plan on putting the CoolDMZ hat on, preferring the blissful anonymity of being just another citizen, rather than one of its foremost chroniclers.

And then everything at Dave’s Pumpkin Patch went haywire, and as you know my friends, that’s when CoolDMZ goes to work.

I introduce you to the “Pumpkin Chunkin,” a makeshift cannon that shoots small pumpkins about as far as a Ken Griffey Jr. home run. It’s a fabulous sight, if a not so fabulous sound for little kids. (Not sure about the title, though. Is it supposed to be “chuckin’ “? That I would understand. I guess it’s “chuckin’ ” with the added ‘n’ for an added internal rhyme with the colloquial pronunciation “punkin.’ ” Cute stuff.)

Well, I didn’t see this at first, but directly in the chunkin’s line of fire is the power supply line for Dave’s patch, which is also as far as I can tell his house. I heard the cannon’s (orange?) glare, and turned to see Dave and some of his helpers running toward the house–running at “oh shit there’s a fire” speed, not at “face painting lady is out of Kleenex” speed. Sure enough: there was a fire, caused by the power line they had downed with an errant (lucky?) pumpkin cannon shot. (See Figure 1.) They are opening their property up to the public, mind you, so there are families milling all about with a high voltage live power line snaking around the unused patch that acts as punkin’ shooting range.

In Figure 2 you can see that when this happened, fast enough that it didn’t catch my attention in my periphery standing 20 feet away, the bounce house immediately collapsed. There were no screams, so I assume there were no children inside at the time. At this point Dave and his helpers started removing the evidence; in Figure 3 you can see the Pumpkin Chunkin being carted away rapidly, and in Figure 4… what giant pumpkin cannon, SMUD inspector?

The CoolDMZ clan narrowly escaped this lawless place with its health, some great photos, and a couple nice pumpkins.

Author: CoolDMZ

"X-ray vision to see in between / Where's my kimono and my time machine?"

2 thoughts on “The Day the Lights Went Out in Southport”

  1. Ohhh! The humanity!

    Someone forgot to place a “Not for use near power lines” warning label on the chucker. And we ALL know how I feel about labels.


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