Today I passed a new establishment next to the Starbucks at St. Rose of Lima called Three Monkeys. Tagline: Saloon – Broiler – Sushi. Finally, you’re thinking, a place where I can get my chop and my sasparilla with a California roll on the side.
This raises several questions. First, is there a county or city office somewhere that when you walk through the door you are automatically granted a license to open a restaurant or bar? Second, how much is too much with the gimmicky restaurants? I would say that mashing up a 19th century term for a watering hole with sushi means we’re at least 80% of the way to the bottom of the barrel. What do you all think?
The Sac Rag 
I have wondered the same thing. On the one hand I love monkeys, on the other hand it’s lame. The food better be pretty incredible if it’s going to validate that whole gimmick. Given the location across the street from the Hard Rock I have certain presumptions about the clientele. I’m figuring all the overgrown frat guys I see modeling their hugo boss and using words like “bro” and “douche-bag” in front of Hard Rock during the lunch hour will be visiting 3 monkeys for happy hour. So I’m hesitant.
LikeLike
yup..if it has the word monkey in it the frat boys will flock.
LikeLike
Take a look at http://whiskeywildsac.com/ if you want some real reasons to slowly bang your head against the wall out of angst for the state of our fair city.
And yes, the place is called the city’s Development Services Division. Their motto is “Get The Customer To Success,” or, as some of us have learned to call it, “More Crap Faster!”
LikeLike
At least they didn’t call it “Bushmeat Xpress.”
LikeLike
yup..after seeing that (the whiskey wild saloon) i punched myself in the face.
LikeLike
Someone should email and ask them if only white people (or douches) are allowed there, cuz that’s all they got pictures of on the website.
LikeLike
Would it be an effing miracle if someone opened a simple piano bar? I mean really, how hard is it? Buy a piano, set it up, hire a piano player, insist that men wear jackets and ties, or at least call each other “cat” and “nancy” while they’re there. You have no idea how happy that would make me.
LikeLike
Welcome to Sacramento. I can go into a somewhat nicer place like McCormicks and Schmicks (sp?) and I’ll see people in t-shirts and shorts. I haven’t come across a place yet that really has any sort of dress code.
LikeLike
wburg: i did have this same reaction when i saw Whiskey Wild Sac. something about the fusion of saloon and sushi really brought it out of me though.
“More Crap Faster!” lol
LikeLike
Speaking of monkeys, my in-laws told me about a dining establishment in the San Fernado Valley where the diners were surrounded by “glassed-in monkeys”. They (monkeys) would throw their feces at the diners..which would hit the glass of course.
Sounds appetizing, eh? Do they offer THAT at 3 Monkeys?
Dress code in Sac? Does that mean no shorts and only designer t-shirts? I would think people would dress for Biba, The Kitchen, The Supper Club..but not always.
LikeLike
“More Crap Faster!” is already trademarked for my soon to be launched restaurant that combines exotic dancers, full service auto repair and Mongolian BBQ (sic).
LikeLike
Actually, I think the (male) dress code for Sacramento is goofy-looking below-the-knee shorts or pleated chinos with a Hawaiian shirt of some relatively subtle shade.
TD, I would pay good money for a lapdance while I ate my Mongolian BBQ, if at the same time my car was getting a top-notch oil change.
LikeLike
jlt you’re clearly talking about the “Sacramento guy” shirt
https://sacrag.com/2007/07/the-sacramento-guy-shirt/
LikeLike
At Restaurant Cul-de-Sac(R) More Crap Faster(TM), we will feature a wide assortment of loaner “Sacramento Guy” shirts… should you come unprepared.
LikeLike
I remember as a child going to a restaurant in NYC where my grandpa had to go buy me a pair of long pants and we had to use a loaner jacket.
LikeLike
Oh, shit, that Whiskey Wild place is spitting distance from my house. This does not bode well, and I am generally in favor of both whiskey and wildness.
LikeLike
well at least you can spit on it from the comfort of your own home.
LikeLike
Whiskey Wild opens this Saturday, but with catered food instead of their planned BBQ menu, which will be introduced at a future date.
LikeLike
I ended up at Three Monkeys today for a work lunch; what a rip-off. I ordered the vegetable wok, which I could swear they subbed out to one of the local teriyaki places. I could have paid $4.95 for it a couple of doors down, but it was $13 at Three Monkeys.
Their menu indicates that they’re trying to do too many items and trying too hard to mix things up — I’d rather see a handful of items done well at reasonable prices, with maybe 2-3 wild & wacky fusion items for the sake of novelty.
LikeLike