It wasn’t my choice, really. I had to eat at Ernesto’s today. I had fallen into a gaggle of Ernesto’s gift certificates and needed to spend them. What was I supposed to do? Let them go to waste? Give them to friends?Â What kind of punkass friend gives his buddy a gift certificate to a shitty restaurant?
Not me. I had to choke it down myself, and choke it down I did.
Ok, to be fair, Ernesto’s food is not horrible. It won’t give you a ride on the “vomit comet” or the “anal egress express” but it will leave you with a serious sense of “edible amnesia.” Edible amnesia is the condition that occurs when the food that you eat is so bland and uninteresting that you can’t even remember eating it. And that’s where Ernesto’s fits it. It’s Mexican food for people from Slovakia. It has zero flavor, no passion, andÂ Â a seriousÂ lack of oomph, in fact no oomph whatsoever. It’s like someone back in the kitchen is treating corn starch as a spice.Â The sauces are weak and flavorless, the meats bland, and the soups waifish. Yeah I said waifish.
So, just in case you were wondering, Ernesto’s is still not anyplace you’d want to go if eating was your goal. Margaritas aren’t bad though.