Slow News Day?

Today's breaking news: holiday parking sucks!

I actually own a newspaper subscription. This morning, I paid for the privilege of reading the following “news,” which appeared on the FRONT page of the Bee:

“OH, FOR A PARKING SPACE”

The story came complete with “parking tactics for holiday shoppers.”

In an effort to help our friends at the Bee with some additional news items, I have created the following list of future stories:

  • Shocking Discovery on Sacramento Streets: Cars Stopping at Stop Signs
  • Scientific Research Shows: American River Water is “Wet”
  • Sacramento Holiday Shoppers Set Trend by Paying in U.S. Dollars
  • Sacramento Mother Tells 20-Year-Old Son: “Santa Not Real”
  • Area Nonprofits Make Radical Announcement: “We Need Money”

2 thoughts on “Slow News Day?”

  1. My favorite part of that story was the photo of the usual Arden Fair parking situation strategically angled to make it look like a huge crowd or something.

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