The gossip (well, news) from Antelope is that Center High’s football coach, Digol J’Beily, was fired from his post because of a vendetta from a former parent of a kid passed over for starting quarterback. Who do these trustees of Center High think they are? Did they think they were involved in Texas high school football? It’s Center High. I have lived here for 25 years and I don’t even know where Center High is. (I do, actually, but the point is still good.)
However, I would totally wear a “FREE J’BEILY” shirt. I want one of those.
Here at the Rag we try to take the road less travelled. Find those topics and observations that aren’t widely reported. However, from time to time we run into a story that demands commentary…or perhaps I just want to write about an article that contains the words “Whizzinator” and “Foolproof” in the same sentence. When I read this article about former Grant High star, Onterrio Smith, I just had to laugh out loud (which reminds me, can I use “lol” outside of an instant message?).
A few of my thoughts:
- “Smith, 24, was also carrying a device called ‘The Original Whizzinator,’ which includes a fake penis, bladder and athletic supporter marketed by manufacturers as an “undetectable” and “foolproof” urinating device.” – I guess they need to rethink that “undetectable” part, huh?
- “Smith, who also admitted to the Whizzinator’s presence in his luggage, said he was taking the materials to his cousin.” – Oh, so this isn’t YOUR fake penis? Carry on then
- “Smith’s attorney, David Cornwell, issued a statement saying the kit was given to Smith, who put it in his bag and forgot about it.” – This is from his “attorney” mind you. Not an off the cuff comment made in haste. So let me get this straight, you forgot about the fake penis in your bag that you were taking to your brother to help him pass a drug test which you yourself have failed several times in the past?
Just think about how bad things have gotten. People are willing to strap on fake sex organs and dispense imitation urine in front of another human being rather than stop doing drugs. I say we bring back shame into our criminal justice system. You wanna wear that bad boy, Onterrio? Very well then, let’s strap it on and make a stop at grandma or auntie’s house then go visit the boys down at the local Y and get in on a pickup game.
If you have lived in Sacramento for at least 3 years you should be well aware of what I like to call the “Disappointing Playoff Performance Meltdown” of our NBA Kings. Even worse, if you have lived in Sacramento for at least 3 years AND enjoy you some sports talk radio, your ears are no doubt ringing with the sounds of panic buttons being pushed all across the San Joaquin valley.
I’ve been to several NBA cities and have listened to many a sports talk radio program and nowhere have I heard more whining and flip flopping than I have here in the River City. Win a game, “This is our year, Grant, we have the heart and the firepower to take it all”; lose a game, “I’m telling you Grant, we need to fire Adelman and do a sign a trade for Shaq, Kobe, and Garnett for Bobby Jackson and a player to be named later.” Yes, the Kings play little to no defense. Yes, Adelman is who he is and will never play the right player at the right time. And yes, it would be nice to get rid of Peja while he still has some market value. But at the end of the day, Sacramentans, you are always going to be the bridesmaid and never the bride. So just grab your cowbell and enjoy your mediocrity…that’s what is great about living here. Just the leave the phone alone.