Best of Sacramento: Bring in the cows

Whew! Last night’s “Best of Sacramento” party wore me out. First, don’t expect a comprehensive recap. It would be impossible for one person – even me – to cover all the ground necessary to properly review the event. Which gets to my point: Sacramento’s “event of the year” has become more like the state fair than the swanky fundraiser it’s billed as.

OK, so there are no farm animals or carnival rides, but there’s enough people and lines and you’re going to be thirsty.

Hosted by Sacramento Magazine, the “Best of Sacramento” is a fundraiser for the March of Dimes. Local businesses that were voted the best in their field (best pizza joint, best salon, etc.) by the readers of Sacramento Magazine (and we know the readers of Sacramento Magazine really do represent the tastes of all Sac residents) staff a table to hand out samples or goodies or coupons for their business. It’s a great idea, except the venue has become too big for its britches.

I was hoping to deliver scoops on tipsy Sacramento personalities, but it was so crowded that I considered myself lucky to have been able to track down my friends. And eat. Leave it to Sacramento to charge $80 for an event that runs out of food. Two years in a row. Guess that’s ok since it’s a fundraiser.

Even with all its problems, I do enjoy this event. That’s because I know the tricks. And, I’ve decided to share them with the devoted readers of Sac Rag:

1. Go early. As soon as it opens.

2. Find the table with water bottles and stash at least a couple in your bag. (They will run out of water about 8:30 and you will be grateful for this water once your throat begins to ache from all the talking/yelling you’ll need to do to communicate over the crowd noise.)

3. Use the program to locate your favorite food and beverage tables. Hit as many as you can as fast as you can, before the masses come. Eat and drink as you go, this is no time to lollygag.

4. OK! You’re nourished, buzzed and ready to roam freely – laughing at the poor souls who came at the late hour of 7pm and are annoyed they paid $80 to wait in line for 10 minutes to get a tiny food sample or 1/4 glass of wine. Now’s the time to pick up all the non-edible freebies. I left with some bamboo stalks, Burt’s Bees cuticle cream, roses, Starbuck coffee beans, and lots of coupons.

5. Leave by 9pm – otherwise you’ll get stuck in the mass exodus.

6. If you’re upset you paid a lot of money to be herded around for dribs and drabs of food and drink, just remember it is all for a good cause. That’s right: public fundraiser, Sacramento style.