Riva Bar & Grill: Pride of Gold River

Honestly, I can’t even begin to describe the food at the new Riva in Gold River. So many other aspects of the meal outshone the food that I have no idea what to say. First, there was the fact that it’s Gold River neighbor, Il Forno Classico, a fine restaurant and our eatery of choice for the evening, was not in the Entertainment Book. I mean, how dare they! Who do they think they are! Just for that, we decided to eat at Riva. Next was temperature of the window booth in which we were seated. I’m not sure what the exact temperature was, but it’s safe to say that it was on the low end of the Kelvin scale. Add to that our rather interesting fellow diners at an adjacent booth, and any chance of actually enjoying the meal was gone.

Maybe it’s a testament to the blandness of the food served that I have no recollection of it. Maybe I can blame my crappy evening on the fact that I bit my tongue so violently that I can, three days later, still feel the pain. Maybe the people in the next booth ruined my entire evening with their inane chatter, which included the following: “What is instinct? I mean, what does it mean? What scientific definition of ‘instinct’ really exists?” and “We really need to invite Sharif to live and work with our spiritually enlightened group. I believe we are the perfect match for his teachings.” And “How can a butterfly travel from Massachusetts to Mexico every year without the use of a compass or a map.” You ask me, it’s more impressive that Manuel can climb a fence in Mexico and make it all the way to Massachusetts without knowing a word of English. I say that’s the triumph of the human spirit and the butterflies can go f*** themselves. But I decided to be polite and I held my tongue, literally, held my tongue between two napkins with some ice to bring down the swelling.

OK, so maybe I didn’t give Riva a fair shot, but I really don’t think it deserves one. The service was sub-par, the food was bland and uninteresting and the fellow patrons were comically obnoxious. I really could find nothing to recommend Riva to anyone…which is why it may be a perfect fit for the residents of Gold River.

Riva Bar & Grill
2220 Gold Springs CT, Gold River, 95670
Food* Service* Atmosphere*