Bob Sylva’s feature in today’s Bee on the current loft craze did not disappoint. It’s an entertaining look at 3 loft dwellers–a rich bachelor, a “Oscar Madison type” (the messy one in the Odd Couple) and a downsized couple with baby (which, of course, represents an anomaly. But the cute family comes out as the most normal-seeming; I guess they don’t turn on you until you turn out more than a baker’s dozen.)
Quotable quotes:
In fact, just about everything crucial to Kastner’s well-being is within reach at F65. He says, “Where else can you live and get a Starbucks coffee, a Jamba Juice, and what I think is the best burrito in town, at Dos Coyotes? I’m a busy guy. I need to have access to all the things I need. There’s even an ATM machine (CoolDMZ: La-ti-da!!) in the project. Plus it’s close to downtown.”
No snark necessary, and
“It’s really convenient,” [rich bachelor Robert Barrientos] says of his loft. “I can take the elevator down and I’m at Mikuni. I know everybody at Mikuni. The joke is that Mikuni is my living room!”
And if he’s too engaged to take the elevator, he calls Mikuni, and they send up a sushi party tray.
Ugh. I hate Mikuni so much and I’ve never even been there. You want to eat at a Japanese restaurant? CoolDMZ says try Hana Tsubaki.
The Sac Rag 
Oh my gosh. All must read this article. It’s hilarious. First of all, the writer compares the child in the downsized family example to a bug skittering across the floor. Nice. More entertaining is the full description of the bachelor guy. I must add to DMZ’s well-chosen quotables with this: “If you want to party, you don’t have to drink and drive,” [bachelor] says. “After the bars close, we come here. We finish the night out. I can play my music as loud as I want.” Reasonable criteria for a college kid, but this guy is 35! One wonders what, exactly, his choice of music is when playing it as loud as he wants. I’m thinking 50 Cent/Dave Mathews with a little Big Head Todd & The Monsters thrown in for a throw back to his days at Sig Pi.
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if one had the gumption to use the snark for evil, one might wish the rich bachelor guy good luck with the stomach cancer he’s probably going to get from eating sushi for every meal.
also i love that the other guy lives in an alley off Capitol avenue. Swaaaanky!!
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Yeah, that bit about the bachelor and his music got to me too, but not because he sounds like an overgrown high school junior trying to get laid.
One must assume that, because he lives in a *loft*, which is just another word for *apartment*, he must have *neighbors*, who are right now calling their attorneys to see what recourse they have when he really does play his music as loud as he wants.
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