“Blue and Gray Flannel Shirt” Robber Still at Large

It’s been a while since a great police description of a crime suspect has been worth mentioning. However, News10.net warns us that the “Poncho Robber” has struck 22 times in Sacramento recently and folks better be on the lookout.

The robber is described as a white male; 5 feet, 6 to 8 inches tall and weighing 150 to 180 pounds. His hair is brown or blonde and worn short. He is believed to be in his 30s or 40s.

Brown…or blonde, hard to say. 30’s…or 40’s, it’s anyone’s call. 150 to 180 pounds, if only people that knew me saw a 30 pound range in describing my weight.

These descriptions are vague, you know, because our suspect wears rain ponchos during his robberies. Or a blue and gray flannel shirt or a blue nylon jacket. Seriously, who is coming up with this stuff?

A man dubbed the “Poncho Robber” because he wears rain ponchos during his crimes

Dubbed by whom? The same person, I am sure, that gets to say, “The so called “rapidly declining, sky is falling, head for the hills, get out while you can, it’s pretty bad out there” Sacramento housing market continues its tumble in the first quarter of 2006″.

The good news is we know what our suspect drives.

The man may drive a silver or gray four-door American-made car, possibly a Pontiac Grand-Am.

“May”, “or”, “possibly”? I don’t know, I guess I’m just down and out from all this rain. I “may” be suffering from “SAD” (You know, from the so called condition known as Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder). “Or” perhaps I have the milder form known as “winter blues” which “may” also affect an even larger number of people than SAD. Then again, I’m “possibly” just sick of reading the news…

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Author: RonTopofIt

RonTopofIt is a complex personality, as are most of the small breed of modern day renaissance millionaires. He wishes more people were like him and yet believes that it takes all kinds. You've met RonTopofIt many times, you just don't remember him.

2 thoughts on ““Blue and Gray Flannel Shirt” Robber Still at Large”

  1. You’ll be happy to hear that the poncho burglar was captured Sunday night. He made a little slip up trying to rob a Quizno’s in Roseville. The article doesn’t say whether he was wearing the poncho or the blue and gray flannel shirt or the blue nylon jacket though. Basically he could have been naked and they are still going to pin these robberies on him due to the haphazard description you so finely noted.

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