Today, I’m looking to complain. Specifically, I’m looking to complain about my gym. I’ve been a member of California Family Fitness for many, many years. So many years, in fact, that if I were to quit and try to re-enroll I couldn’t afford it. Therein lies my problem. You see, what bugs about this gym (and many other gyms, I am sure) are the rules.
For example, it used to be that you couldn’t access the gym without your gym card. If you did, you were hassled about not doing it again and to please pee in this cup. Then they came up with keychain cards. Great idea, problem solved. Alas, people still forgot their cards. So Cal Fit came up with a photo identity feature where your account included your basic information AND your photo to identify you if you forgot your card. Great idea, problem solved. Not so fast, you still need your card because it was taking the staff too long to look each person up who forgot their card, back to being hassled.
One to always follow the rules, I bring my keychain card with me all the time. Show me the rules, I’ll follow them every time. Last week I walk in with family in tow. Hand my keychain card over to the staff member and off I go, right? Pause…”and do you have your wife’s card?” “My who’s what?” “You have your card, but I can’t let you in without your wife’s card.” “But I have a family membership, we are all on the same account, right?” “Yes, but I need a card for each of you.”
Ugh. I could go on and on about this one particular rule, but I am sure most of you haven’t even made the jump so I’ll entertain myself with another example.
Every 15 minutes or so, the staff at Cal Fit get on the PA system and remind “all members and guests” what they are not allowed to do. “Cellular phones are not permitted on the gym floor at anytime” or “Gym bags are not permitted on the gym floor” or “Loud, unusual noises are not permitted on the gym floor” (this one is in writing, too!). Well, someone must have complained about cell phones so now we are reminded that cell phones must be used discreetly with the ringers turned down low or on vibrate and that NO camera phones are allowed. But have a great workout I’m told everytime I visit.
Finally, the real point of me venting here. The Cal Fit swimming pool rules are comical. They literally change from day to day. No floaties allowed in the kid’s pool at any time. No, actually, only these floaties are allowed. Wait, this just in, we’re back to no floaties being allowed in the pool. Children under 5 must be accompanied IN THE POOL at all times. Pause. No, children can be under 5 in the pool as long as you are close to them and it’s really busy and no one is looking.
In a five minute span this past Saturday I was informed that kickboards are not allowed in the pool, unless they are inflatable, and that goggles that cover the nose are not allowed. This last one was aimed at an ADULT! who was just playing around in the pool with his son.
Ok, that’s it. I feel better. Either of you loyal Sac Rag readers ever experience this sort of rules roulette in your day to day lives? If so, please share because I’m falling down….
The Sac Rag 
Tangentially, my gym has recently angered me. My gym isn’t really a gym, though – it’s a fitness center at my apartment complex. It’s actually kinda nice, and was a signficant reason why we chose this place.
Except now two of the three treadmills are broken with no repair in sight and security keeps forgetting to unlock the door at 5 am, when the gym is supposed to be open. The security, an off-site firm, likely leaves the premises around midnight, which would explain why I wake my ass up only to find it locked. And management doesn’t ascend until 9 am, or 10 am on weekends. I could use the emergency number, but I’ve resisted that, instead settling for an open-air jog.
I kind of feel selfish just for complaining about this on The Rag – there are worse problems than treadmill scarcity and gym exclusion. Totally kills any semblance of routine, though. Highly aggravating.
LikeLike
Yes, the swimming pool rules drive us to distraction. Next time, we’ll just bring floaties and damn the torpedos. Easier to ask forgiveness than permission.
One more paradoxical rule at Cal Fit? “No children under age 14 allowed on the weight equipment (except those two over there, making a lot of racket, which the attendant is pretending she doesn’t see)!”
LikeLike
I have to say, more so than pool rules for me, is the condensending 17 year-old working the front counter. The few times I’ve asked for a basketball, to shoot some hoops, I love it when they ask me for my photo ID (as if I carry it with me to the gym). Are they thinking this 30 year-old mom of two is going to walk out the front door with their big ass orange ball? Come on now. And tanning? They are the tanning Nazis. You must present proper “eyewear” before being allowed to tan. Damn it, I paid for the tan, let me burn my retnas out if I want!
LikeLike
The problem is you, Rontopofit. You are asking permission either explicitly or implicitly. My financee and I share an account and only use one card whenever we go. We simply hand the one card over and start walking away. When the condescending 17 year-old asks for a card just TELL her to look it up. It works every time. You might have to use the “dad voice” though.
I think that’s what Obi wan did when he said, “These aren’t the droids you are looking for.”
LikeLike
Eating establishments with “rules” like that are the pits. I guess when you already know the rules you appreciate it though.
That being said, one of the last times I was waiting in line at Rick’s I heard the following conversation between the server and a, shall we say, methodical patron:
Patron: “Umm…What’s that?”
Server: “That? That’s cherry pie.”
LikeLike
Another place rife with rules is Hoppy Brewing Company. There is an entire section of the menu dedicated to rules, so you’re reading along: Appetizers, Salads, Entrees, and there it is in the same bolded 24 pt. sans serif font, “Rules.” This probably eliminates any question of what their policies are, but it seemed a bit gauche to have it so clearly displayed (as if Hoppy is the arbiter of high class dining.)
LikeLike