Late last year I wrote a post about the forming of lines in public places. My point was that we have unwritten rules in society which allow us to function in such a manner that total chaos is held in check. That, and sometimes people just suck.
Well, I’m at it again. This time I am having issues with the “rules” regarding the opening of doors for people. In general there are a few basics, right?
- If you walk through a door and someone is within one body length of you (what, 1-3 feet?) you hold the door for them to pass. Especially if the door is going to shut quickly. This usually ingnites a chain reaction of door holding that is often times difficult to put out.
- When you can clearly see that someone has their hands full and are unable to open the door themselves, you step in and help them out. Whether you arrive at the door first or they do, the person with the most hands free takes charge.
- If two people arrive at a door at close to the same time (glass, see through, etc.) the rule is that whichever way the door opens dictates who opens and holds for the other person.
Lately, I’ve been having issues with #3 on my list. Which leads me to wonder if Sacramento sucks, people suck, a combination of both, or perhaps I suck and need to not waste time on this award winning web log whining about trivial topics (there, RunnerBoy, have at me).
Ok, so I’m finding myself in situations where I approach a door at the same time, or close to the same time, as someone else. We stare each other down briefly and make a quick and sudden agreement on the fly as to what’s gonna happen when we reach the door. In the past, this agreement would execute flawlessly. We’d reach the door, decide which direction it opens, and make the necessary adjustments so as to maintain the highs and lows of life’s sweet harmony.
Well, I’m here to say this whole process is unraveling before my very eyes. Folks seem to understand the eye contact and head nod part, but either intentionally, or unintentionally, renege on the deal and step right through causing an awkward collision. And it’s the frequency with which this occurs that really troubles me. Normally during times like these I often find myself concocting theories to explain these things away which have to do with me “putting off a vibe” that the public picks up on and punishes me for. It’s both a vibe that can make people not notice me AND be annoyed by me at the same time. Which isn’t half bad, right? Wait, I think it literally is half bad, isn’t it? At any rate…
Has anyone else noticed similar signs (either subtle or blatant) of the social apocalypse?
The Sac Rag 
Sacramento just sucks. Take it from a pregnant gal who ran errands up and down J Street at lunch today. I held open the door for people more times than others did for me..even in my current state and with my hands full.
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What about when, upon entering your local coffee house, you hold the door open for someone who ends up in front of you in line: Is the recipient of the held open door expected to give cuts to the person who held the door open for them?
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That is an excellent point, Norm. I experience this same scenario almost daily. Exiting the coffee house is a snap, but entering really presents a problem.
In the end, if you are the type to hold a door open for someone, you must forfeit your spot in line to that same person, too. Extending the karma, etc. Usually this results in a return of the favor by the recipient who rewards your gesture with your rightful spot in line.
Man, it’s amazing society runs as smoothly as it does…
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It is amazing. Just a few gene mutations ago, breaches in social etiquette were met with screaming, chest-thumping, backflips, jumping up and down and throwing pooh — followed by submissive gestures, hugs and communal nit-picking.
Next time someone avoids eye contact or withholds the mandatory head nod as I hold the door, I’m going to go all chimpanzee.
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Congratulations, Plumwin!
Also line-related, I was just at the ATM earlier today, and someone switched the location of the line. This is at the Golden One at Watt & Fair Oaks, and the line usually goes to the right of the ATM so those in line can get deposit envelopes while in line and ALSO to protect the privacy of the person using the ATM. It’s a busy ATM, so for all I know, someone started lining up first thing this morning on the left side and threw off the whole system since you can’t really change where the line is if people are already standing there.
Norm, I can hardly wait to see you go all chimpanzee — that will be fun!
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Re: #3- I can’t open most of the doors I encounter by myself the first time (they are pushes when I expect pulls, or the hinge is on the wrong side of the door, etc.), let alone with the impatient stares of people on the other side. If you go all chimpanzee on them first BEFORE you even open the door, the other person usually turns around and walks away, quickly. Then you can open your door on your own time without any pressure.
And to the feminazi who informed me she could open her own doors, thank you very much, I was only holding it open because they guy just locked it before you got there, and it was REALLY funny when you realized the door was locked and there was no way I was going to open it for you again. Stick that in your bra and burn it.
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It’s not just Sacramento. I’ve noticed it all over the LA environs as well. I thought it was a So. Cal. thing until I got back up here and the exact same thing kept happening. My theory is all the LA folks have invaded Sacto, as has their improper door handling skills.
Also, add that when one does hold a door open for someone they rarely thank you and act like the door opened and held itself. What is the world coming to?
heehee, about the pooh and the chimpanzee…
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