Jerry’s Tumbleweed Inn

I saw a brief mention of Jerry’s Tumbleweed Inn in the Bee a few weeks ago as having one of the best burgers in town. Then my uncle asked me if I had heard of the place, being a bit of a burger hound himself. I thought it my duty to head to the distant land of Rancho Cordova and check it out.

To say that Jerry’s is rough around the edges assumes that a) Jerry’s has edges and b) the word “rough” includes the possibility of getting a pool cue lodged up your poop chute due to a poorly timed comment about the Raiders. Nevertheless, the burgers are well worth braving the elements as I quickly found out.

Jerry’s Tumbleweed Inn is located on Folsom blvd, just shy of Bradshaw. Nestled comfortably next to a custom motorcycle shop and a nail salon, it almost hides from the view of the speeding driver. I managed to find it, driving maddeningly slow down Folsom after I had attended a business meeting off Zinfandel. When I pulled up to the front door, I immediately removed my tie. Something just told me that a man in a tie was not the most welcome critter at the ‘Weed. I pictured one of those ubiquitous scenes where the dive bar regulars haze the unsuspecting traveler by slicing off his tie with a switchblade or hunting knife and then laugh and buy the poor guy about 12 shots of whiskey with Bud chasers until he stumbles out, dazed and nauseous only to be hogtied, robbed of all his possessions and anally violated by an outlaw biker gang.

More than anything, I didn’t want to ruin my tie. I had just bought it at Ross and even though it only cost me $9.99, I was fond of it for it’s sharp lines and ability to go well with black pants. So, I wandered in the dark bar in my shirtsleeves looking for grub.

The ‘Weed is just like 100 other dive bars throughout the West, dark wood walls, eight stool bar, four tables scattered around the floor and one pool table in the back. Niners and Raiders schedules hung on the walls along with satirical metal signs claiming “If she ain’t pretty yet, keep drinking” and my personal favorite “Hangovers Sold and Serviced Here.” The bartender served about 4 or 5 guys on the stools while a couple sat at a far off table. The proverbial record needle did not screech across the album when I walked in, but suffice it to say, I did not blend in with the local flavor, such as the guy with the 2 foot beard and the shirt that said “916 Kicks Ass” on the front, and on the back “Fuck with me and find out.” I was definitely glad that I had removed my tie.

The bartender was a crusty but benign woman of indeterminate age. She walked me through my menu choices, the most startling of them all was that Jerry’s does not serve fries. You can have any of a number of sandwiches or even tacos, and your side dish options are green salad, homemade macaroni salad, homemade potato salad or chips. Regrettably they were out of potato salad when I arrived, so I went for the healthy green salad. I asked for the burger to be cooked medium and the bartender looked at me a little askew, telling me that my burger would be ready in about 20 minutes for “medium.”

I spent the time doodling in my notebook and trying not to make eye contact with anyone while I waited for my meal. At one point, I distinctly smelled the odor of marijuana floating through the bar, but decided that turning around and trying to snoop out the ganjtastic perpetrator would be a little too confrontational, so I kept to my doodlings and waited for the burger.

As promised, about 20-30 minutes after being ordered my burger arrived. It was a towering meatstrosity on a bun. At least two inches thick and shaped perfectly like a hockey puck, the burger was fantastic. The cheese was perfectly melted and the the produce was fresh and crisp. My only complaint was that in order to get a medium doneness on the overly thick patty, the exterior of the burger got pretty crusty, more so than what I’m accustomed to. If you’re not too squeamish on the ground beef doneness scale, I’d advise medium rare.

The meal and my coke cost me $10. It’s well worth the price for a fine beefsteak on a bun, and the atmosphere adds that little bit of flavor that makes the burger at the ‘Weed a great meal. Just try not to whimper when they shove that pool cue up your ass, it only encourages them.

Jerry’s Tumbleweed Inn- 10083 Folsom Blvd, Rancho Cordova
Food**** Atmosphere**** Service****
(Kitchen only open from 11-3 most days)