The Kitchen

I’ve sensed a lot of mixed feelings in Sacramento about The Kitchen. Being the most expensive dining choice in the greater Sacramento area, The Kitchen has garnered its share of devotees and detractors. There are those who claim that spending $125 on a meal is never appropriate, no matter what is served, how it’s prepared, or how many “special” massages you are entitled to per course. Then there are those that claim the $125 per person cost at The Kitchen is justified due to the top notch ingredients, top notch service, top notch atmosphere, and top notch notches.

The truth, as with most truths, falls somewhere in between. When The Kitchen is “on,” meaning the food is extraordinary, the “performance cooking” is presented with theatrical flair, and the five hour eat-a-thon flies by in the blink of an eye, the price, to me, is justified. But when the food, while creative and interesting, fails to tickle you in your naughties and lift you out of your chair, it sets the whole evening on tilt and makes you question the steep price tag.

For those of you unfamiliar with The Kitchen, here’s a rundown of a usual evening. You show up at 7pm, greeted by the friendly waitstaff and shown to your seat. The small room is laid out around a huge marble counter surrounding a epic gas range and prep table. On most nights, capacity is at about 60 people.

For the first thirty minutes or so you’re invited to wander through the prep kitchen, looking over the foods, meandering through the pantry, and generally making a nuisance of yourself. At around 7:30, your Chef-de-Cuisine Noah Zonka gives you a walk-through of the evening’s dishes. Noah’s got a Emeril/Henry Rollins/”Stone-cold” Steve Austin thing going for him. He’s loud and likable and funny and a pretty darn good cook.

You’re run through a list of ingredients that makes Corti’s look like the neighborhood Stop ‘n’ Rob–king salmon from New Zealand, live lobsters from Maine, fresh lamb from Sanger, hamachi from the Tsukiji Fish Market, giant scallops from…giant scallopland–you get the picture. With ingredients like this, you could probably make a five star meal with a camp fire and a stick.

The meal itself starts soon after, usually with a soup course, then a small appetizer. Then comes a break for the sushi course, held out on their lovely patio during the warmer months. Then comes two entrees, usually a seafood entree and then a beef dish. Lastly, a “white-glove” tea service featuring anything you could ever ask for in your tea, plus coffee and dessert. By the time you’re done, you’ve been eating and drinking steadily for about four hours. The portions are reserved, so, unless you’ve been asking for seconds (which is not only allowed but encouraged) you’re not full to the point of bursting, but you’re pretty damn full all the same.

So that’s the experience. It’s not just dinner, but dinner-and-a-show. Nevertheless, is the whole experience worth $125 not including tax and tip?

My answer: sometimes.

On my last visit, the answer was, unfortunately, “No.”

I’ve been to the Kitchen four times in the last dozen years, going back to when it was located on Marconi Avenue in what is now a dentist’s office. The first three times were all incredible events (and they didn’t even have to use Novocain) but this last trip only garnered a lukewarm response.

Why, you ask? Well I’ll tell you. It wasn’t the service, which was exemplary from the moment we got out of our car and our waiter came to greet us holding an umbrella, to the handshakes and hugs we got from Noah and the whole crowd on our way out. It wasn’t the presentation which was, as usual, fun, tongue-in-cheek, and yet totally elegant. It wasn’t the company which was wonderful. No– it was, surprisingly, the food.

Each of our five courses was good, don’t get me wrong. With top grade ingredients flown in fresh (in some cases still alive) from all over the world, how could they be bad? It was just that only two of the five courses were smack-you-in-nuts, punch-you-in-the-neck amazing; and of those, one was the sushi course, which involves, let’s face it, not that much cooking skill.

Other than the sushi, the other standout was a manicotti filled with lamb and ricotta topped with braised duck and arugula. That was fantastic. But the other courses– a lobster bisque thickened with Arborio rice, a trio of crab, wild salmon and scallop, a sauced up tendrloin of beef, and a dessert consisting of a rather plain doughnut plate with good homemade coffee ice cream–were all just kinda good. Not only were they just kinda good, they felt overprepared.

With such ridiculously good ingredients, the preponderance of accompanying sauces and garnishes only succeeded in dulling down the dishes. Some of the entrees, especially the beef course, seemed to be doing too much with…too much. It was like seeing a movie in which the best actors of the day appeared– Sir Lawrence Olivier, Orson Welles, Richard Burton–and yet the whole film centered on explosions and special effects.

You expect more than just “good” from the Kitchen. At $125 per person you expect great. You expect grand. You expect a Bacchanalian orgy just this side of Caligula. To be only “good,” is, I’m sure, seen as a bit of a failure by the Kitchen’s dedicated staff.

So, to answer your inevitable questions: Should I go to The Kitchen? Yes, it’s definitely worth checking out if it’s within your means. It’s an experience unlike any other in Sacramento.

Is it the best restaurant in Sacramento? Is it the best cooking you’ll ever witness? Is it worth the price?

Sometimes.

The Kitchen Restuarant- 2225 Hurley Way, #101, Sacramento
Food ***1/2 Service**** Atmosphere****