…only outlaws will commit illegal activity. In the last week or so I’ve seen two major news stories evolve into the passage of new laws, and in each case I’m confused. (This happens a lot, as you’ve guessed.)

First, a new law sparked by the HP leak investigation that outlaws “pretexting,” or the use of fraud to obtain phone records. Isn’t “fraud” already illegal? Does this mean that it is currently legal to use fraud to obtain, say, a jelly donut? Isn’t the whole point of fraud that you are utilizing it to obtain something that you don’t have a right to? What’s next, a law outlawing obtaining phone records by moving your fists in a fast motion into contact with another person’s face?

Second, the new “hazing” law, sparked by hazing deaths in recent years at Chico State, primarily a death in which the victim was forced to drink gallons of water and died from water poisoning. Shouldn’t there already be a law that covers that, too? If you convince your “friend” to run along a ledge on a tall building and he falls to his death, aren’t you guilty of some sort of crime? Or do we need to rush a “ledge-running” law out there.

Now I’m no legal expert, as you might have also guessed, so if one of you legal minds can shed some light feel free. And I’m aware these sorts of laws are passed all the time these days. But coercing another human being to engage in life-threatening behavior is wrong because it’s wrong, not because you’re in a frat. Dude. And using fraud is wrong because…fraud, I think it’s in the law dictionary or something. Anyway it’s wrong. Thanks for listening.