Mudwrestling, but not that kind

I used to think that Sacramentans’ propensity to getting drunk on the river without bothering to learn to swim, leading to what I can only assume is a higher than average number of annual drunken idiot drowning deaths, would lead to the lessening of Sacramento’s role in the future gene pool.

Now I think that’s a good thing:

Muddy river brawls erupt

30 revelers are arrested – part of ‘a sea of drunken humanity’ along the American River.

law enforcement officials spent much of the day trying to maintain order at a tiny island in the middle of the river, a remote spot north of Rancho Cordova’s Hagan Community Park. Authorities dubbed it “Gilligan’s Island,” but revelers called it “Fighters Island.”

Nothing describes Sacramento’s beer-bloated dogpile of fleshblobs better than a “sea of drunken humanity,” though I would have used the more apt term “semi-humanity.”

Most people made the rafting journey without incident, as three helicopters from the California Highway Patrol, Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department and Sacramento Metropolitan Fire District flew above to ensure public safety.

The more public safety resources that are diverted to make sure the throngs of wastoid drowning pre-victims arrive safely, the fewer of those resources are availabe later that night when said wastoids are lighting bottle rockets over the fence from my house. Read it all, if you dare. (Sac Bee, RR)

Author: CoolDMZ

"X-ray vision to see in between / Where's my kimono and my time machine?"