Predictions for 2009

  1. The bespangled cube dropped for the New Years celebration is burgled from city hall. By Heather Fargo.
  2. Mayor Kevin Johnson rings in the new year by asking the city council to change the title of his office to “Sultan.”
  3. The Kings win 7 games in a row at home after getting the NBA to OK a new “rimless” basket for the visiting team.
  4. The Grant High Pacers take on the Dillon Panthers after the Pacers acquire the ability to appear on television. Grant QB Kapeli Koniseti shines and is offered his own variety show that appears after the new Jimmy Fallon Late Nite. The show is called “Last Call with Carson Daly.”
  5. The Haines Brothers open a restaurant serving only fried potatoes crafted in the French style. It is panned widely for only serving to d-bags.
  6. The switch to digital TV in February brings a new program to CBS13 titled “Chris’s Burrous” in which anchor Chris Burrous examines animal habitats.
  7. The Sacramento Bee’s editorial board is taken over by its commenters, and “ardenparkboi84” is named the new Managing Editor.
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Author: CoolDMZ

"X-ray vision to see in between / Where's my kimono and my time machine?"

5 thoughts on “Predictions for 2009”

  2. For 2009, KCRA’s new guy, “Gallstone” Dart, does an in-depth series during February sweeps on why KCRA sucks so much after Dave & Lois “retired”.

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  4. Let me clarify. He is on the evening news, yet he does hard copy/inside edition type segments. He fits in quite well with the tone at cbs 13. They are the only people that sounded happy that a slave boy was found in Tracy.

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  5. I have a prediction for 2009:

    Former Mayoral candidate Muriel Strand will grow a handlebar mustache and tour the country with it.

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