Democratic Parties

This weekend, the California Democratic Party is holding their 2009 State Convention. For the next three days, more than 3500 suspected carriers of a new disease will be clustered in Downtown and Midtown. Epidemiologists have observed a localized outbreak among conventioneers of a disease they are dubbing “Obama Fever”. Symptoms include leftward-leaning, habitual recycling and involuntary muscular reactions to seeing another conventioneer, where both will sound a celebratory “whoop” followed by a ritual sign of camaraderie, notably a variation of the high five.

More serious cases of OF are identifiable by the “Flair Count” observed in the patient. A mild case is defined by 5 or less pieces of flair (button, hat, t-shirt, etc), with a moderate case having a Flair Count of 6-15, and a serious case having a 16+ Flair Count. Uninfected parties are not in any serious danger of catching OF as patients need to be exposed to OF vectors for at least two months, and average media exposure has not been shown to be infectious. If you are concerned that you may have OF, even if you are not exhibiting flair, please click on this link for additional medical advice.


The positive side effect of Obama Fever is that the weekend is filled with parties. The biggest will be tonight on 20th between J and K, which will be closed for The Block Party for California’s Future, hosted by the California College Democrats from 10pm -Midnight. Wyclef Jean will headline, with performances by local hip-hop singer Butterscotch and local funk rockers Utz! and The Shuttlecocks. Biz Markee will perform later an Lounge ON20.

Please drive safely in the area and expect traffic stoppage on J and K.

8 thoughts on “Democratic Parties”

  1. The “whoop” is all the Illegal Immigrants with swine/bird/human mutant flu, trying to breathe. The Dem’s base is thier undoing.

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  2. turty, you are hilarious. victim much? per capita, white americans are most likely to get and die from influenza. isn’t that weird?

    i stopped by the convention to see what the fuss was about. i heard a lot more “whooping” at the republican convention 2 years ago, though. although there were actually non-white people at this one, and about 5x as many women as i saw at the republican convention.

    watch out for Those People, Turty. They’re all out to get you.

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  3. Ah yes- the people who made America the greatest country in the world. Sounds like a real thrid world gathering. Can’t wait to hear about the plans that come out of this one: Lots of hard work, individual sacrafice for the good of the community? Alas no- more “you deserve more assistance!” and “the goverment has a program for you!” Nice.

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  4. I think you’re actually describing a rich white guy Republican gathering – they’re the ones who get the VAST share of public assistance these days, aren’t they? The bank bailout alone is more than ten years worth of ALL federal and state low-income assistance programs combined!

    Many of those “third world” people – the teachers who educate your kids, the nurses and (yeah, even some) doctors who heal them, the firefighters who keep your house whole – are much harder workers than you and me, I’m sure. After all, they don’t have time to visit and troll sacrag.com.

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  5. moe – It’s pretty impossible to pin down bailout recipients that way. Follow the money — they donate to whomever can get them what they want. In the last 5 years that has been the Democrats in Congress: http://www.opensecrets.org/orgs/summary.php?id=D000000123

    70/30 to Dems in the last election. You can also click Affiliates and look at the Financial Products unit, which is where the evil happened. Its money went 86/14 to Dems in the last election! Money flows to the power, not to the platform.

    However, I won’t dispute your point about many immigrants being hard workers… though I will dispute your point about the usefulness of trolling sacrag.com!

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  6. That’s the plan from the convention? To talk about the hard work of teachers, nurses, doctors and firefighters?
    No realization that maybe their jobs would be a lot easier if everyone had the courtesy to COME LEAGALLY into this great country, learn the language, and adopt the existing customs of the country (why exactly are they coming here again?)? No- wait! I’m gonna go slaughter a goat and smear the offal around my house to ward off the evil spirits of bird flu. Ain’t diversity grand!
    And while “many” immigrants are hard workers, “many” are also lazy opportunistic criminals stealing from hard working Americans.

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  7. The plan from the convention was the same as every other political convention: nominate leaders, get drunk, get laid.

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