Family circus fun this weekend. (and terror)

When I saw the notice that Circo Hermanos Caballeros was playing Cal Expo through the end of the weekend, I immediately wanted to either praise them for not engaging in animal cruelty, or condemn them for their engaging in animal cruelty. Really, have you seen the PETA/Alec Baldwin circus elephant video? A lot of the time, PETA is a punchline, but that video is shocking and compelling.

There are no elephants at Circo Hermanos Caballeros. It has a psychedelic swirly tent, happy clowns, trapeze acts, ball juggling, balloons, hoop dancing, a human cannonball, motorcycle stunts, oddities, funky dancing, hazing, box juggling, the GLOBE OF DEATH, pin juggling, conspiratorial clowns, more hoop dancing, hat juggling, a doggie wedding, duo juggling, Las Chulas Chulas, more hazing, patriotism, and fashion conscious juggling. There is a bit of midget horse action, but no elephants. When asked if they were victims of abuse, the horses reported that, save an occasional case of the trots, their lives were stable and they were not harassed.

Notably, the circus previously featured Jesús “Chuy” Aceves, who was introduced in the BBC series “Human Mutants”, profiled in his own special “It’s Not Easy Being a Wolf Boy”, and appeared on Maury. No reports of cruelty for wolfboy. Despite his difficult life, he was showered with gifts and offerings.

But.

Beyond the lack of any sort of cruelty.

The juicy bone you have been looking for in this story is…..

the worst website in existence.

It is terrifying.

Straight out of 1997, I present you with the website Circus Folks. It features hundreds of circuses, clowns, and performers, many of which have equally ancient and terrifying websites. If you have a seizure disorder, please do not click through to these sites.

Delving deeper into the online world of possibly deceased circus performers, some of the worst offenders include Butterscotch the Clown, Feel N Lucky, the Happy Hobo Clown (please, somebody call the police!!), Spunky the Clown (seriously?), and VeeKay, the Original Zoot Suit Clown (are there more?). Better sites include Princess Elaine the Teen Contortionist, Alexander King of Jesters, and Zane. Zane is a facial contortionist, rides a unicycle, and plays the didgeridoo. Hopefully, simultaneously.

One major disadvantage to having an ancient, amateur website is the coupons. I have no idea if these coupons will be honored, but they appear to be good at any show and without an expiration date. Get a free kids ticket with purchase of an adult one. On Friday, get 2 for 1 adult admission.

Good luck and happy circus to you all.