Tip 1: Stay indoors

Jenkinson Lake was a good way to cool off over the weekend
Jenkinson Lake was a good way to cool off over the weekend

If you have been conscious for the last week or so, you are aware that it is hot out there. As I have spent the better part of my 37 years in Sacramento, I am mostly immune to it at this point, though I have to remind myself that almost half of that has been spent in an air conditioned office from 9 to 5 every weekday.

Local news is all about pointing out the heat, and they all don their Captain Obvious costumes and present lists of how to beat the heat. KCRA’s craptacular slideshow features a tip of wearing “loose fitting clothing” accompanied by a photo of a girl wearing pants and a sweater. I could not make that up. Thanks a lot geniuses! News10 goes cutesy with photos of cold things. SacBee.com sticks with the facts and figures.

Though they can’t really be blamed for the obvious tips, as “it’s a dry heat” so it is stupid easy to beat. My tips list consists mainly of 1) not letting the sun shine on you when it is hot outside, unless you are in or beside a pool, and 2) mainlining popsicles. We have lots of local options, but if you go storebought try to track down Dreyer’s Outshine Peach bars. I’m also a big fan of running for the hills, as I did last weekend with a camping trip to Sly Park.

Since you haven’t been asked this question ever in the history of summers in Sacramento: What’s your favorite way to beat the heat?

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Author: CoolDMZ

"X-ray vision to see in between / Where's my kimono and my time machine?"

5 thoughts on “Tip 1: Stay indoors”

  1. Everyone involved in KCRA’s slideshow should be immediately fired. No, they should be sent to sit outside on the roof of a tall building wearing pants, sweaters, and scarves wrapped tightly around their necks (did you see the one wearing a freaking scarf?) for the next heat wave while crowds below throw fruit or dodgeballs at them. My
    god, that is by far one of the worst ”
    pieces I’ve ever seen. Not only are
    the pictures dumb, the tips had to have their sources named. Really? They had to credit Kaiser and WebMD to tell people to drink water and stay in the shade? I don’t know who should be more embarrassed, KCRA for not being able to come up with those on their own or (maybe they were looking for some high level credibility), the sources themselves for being associated with such obvious crapl. I do like that the last few don’t name a source and I’m betting Mark Finan spent hours thinking those up all by himself. Ok, I’m done. I have to go shower, not dry.off, and apply more water to my pressure points.

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  2. Lol, could I have sounded any more angry? Sheesh I’m just constantly amazed that KCRA is ever considered a news source. I think the entire organization must be run by hamsters.

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  3. One would think that there would be some interest in local news geared for something more than those with 5th grade educations. At least anywhere in the US I have been, it’s the same formulaic 40% weather, 30% sports and 30% Justin Bieber updates.

    Is there any example anywhere of a semi-intelligent local news broadcasts?

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