Tag: Crime

The AP reports (via cbs13.com) that an…”8-year-old girl allegedly shot by a neighbor angered by children mischievously knocking at his door underwent successful surgery to have a pellet removed from her spine, authorities said Saturday.”

Ugh. I’m getting to the point, however, that I don’t know what irritates me more, the craziness of these stories or the manner in which they are reported. For example:

The girl was struck in the back, screamed and fell, authorities said.

Is this little tidbit of information really necessary? An 8-year-old girl just got plucked with a .22-caliber pellet rifle what do you think she is going to do? And since when did pellet rifles come in calibers? I’m no firearm enthusiast but the last time I heard of a .22 caliber anything it was called a gun which used bullets which can kill things.

From the “hmmmm” file, News10.net reports of a new technique to catch would be thieves at Lodi High School. In order to curb a recent a rash of burglaries local police officials have “…coated cell phones, CD players, cash and other valuables with a nearly invisible powder or paste that changes color with body heat. The powder, designed for use on currency, stains fingers a bright purple. The vivid color remains for several days.”

I warned you, hmmmm.

“We weren’t telling any of these kids to go steal this stuff,” explains Canestrino. “We were just kind of providing the opportunity to choose to do it on their own.”

“Kind of”? This is the police officer’s quote, mind you. You know, like a grown up and stuff.

“Let’s face it. Kids make bad decisions and this is more about a learning experience for them,” said Canestrino. He hopes publicity surrounding the sting will reduce property crime on campus.

Ok, ha ha, jokes over. Seriously, what are you really doing to catch the thieves?

It’s been a while since a great police description of a crime suspect has been worth mentioning. However, News10.net warns us that the “Poncho Robber” has struck 22 times in Sacramento recently and folks better be on the lookout.

The robber is described as a white male; 5 feet, 6 to 8 inches tall and weighing 150 to 180 pounds. His hair is brown or blonde and worn short. He is believed to be in his 30s or 40s.

Brown…or blonde, hard to say. 30’s…or 40’s, it’s anyone’s call. 150 to 180 pounds, if only people that knew me saw a 30 pound range in describing my weight.
Continue reading ““Blue and Gray Flannel Shirt” Robber Still at Large”

Sounds like a major bust out at the Gold Line station at Mather Field. I found it interesting that drug dealers apparently “generally do not set up shop before noon and they do not work in the rain.” Maybe I’m just confusing crack dealers and Mail Carriers, like I’m aaalways doing. I’ll leave the joke about a drug prevention program being called “Weed and Seed” to SinghCity because that sounds right up his alley.

News10.net reports that the Manteca Police Department has for the first time used an automated telephone calling system to alert a neighborhood of a violent crime in their area.

I’m wondering if this is the future of law enforcement? How effective do you think a pre-recorded message can be in informing the public of criminal activity given our constant barrage of telephonic spam (this would totally be the name of my band if I had, like, musical talent and ambition and stuff) we experience everyday. Don’t get me wrong, I see the intent behind this system, I just worry that law enforcement is one of those areas where automation like this is not really needed.

The computer program is a reverse of the 911 emergency system. “It sends out a recorded message for a emergency situation,” said the department’s crime analyst Linda Silva. “I can pick out a certain area, and it brings up those numbers and just calls that area.”

Reverse of 911? How so? When you call 911 do you speak with an automated voice response system? I don’t think that you do, although that would be great and would really make my point.

911 IVR System: Hello, you’ve reached the 911 emergency system automated call center. Your emergency is very important to us. Your call will be answered in the order in which it was received. If your emergency involves an assault, press 1 now. If your emergency involves a…

Continue reading “The future of law enforcement?”

Whatever happened to common sense? You know, that little voice in your head that sort keeps you from doing stupid things? It’s sort of like a sense of what to do and what not to do that is common to all people, right?

In the words of George Costanza, “Was that wrong? Should I NOT have done that?”

“SACRAMENTO, Calif. – Inmates gained access to personal information about prison employees, including their Social Security numbers, after the state unlawfully allowed them to work in a warehouse storing the data, a guard union said Thursday.

Suuuuper, greeeat, graaaand. I’m sure you’re thinking, “Hey, they’re in jail, what are they gonna do with this information” right?

One prisoner found with confidential records had asked an inmate serving time for identity theft to teach him how to use the information, Jimenez said.

It is fitting that only the personal information of prison employees was compromised.

As you were, Sacramento.

News10.net reports of a new psychedelic drug that’s invading our local high schools. It’s called 2C-I and drug enforcement agents say the drug is so new they are just now beginning to track them down.

“It takes 20 minutes to kick in,” the boy said. “You get energy, you want to do something. Things morph and you see colors. Everything seems weird and ironic.”

Sad, isn’t it? The poor youth of today…they still have no idea what the word “ironic” means.

It appears, however, that you need four things in order to obtain this drug. So parents, read closely, Gordon Taylor of the Drug Enforcement Administration provides us with a checklist:

“You need a computer with Internet access, you need a money order or credit card, you need a mail delivery location like a home or post office box, and fourth and most importantly, you need the desire to play Russian Roulette with your brain.”

Get all that? If you can prevent your child from having just ONE of those things you may thwart the onslaught of this horrible drug. Tall task I know. I mean, your kid has to have a computer to do his/her homework, right? And you can’t really get by these days without an address. So that just leaves us with a money order/credit card OR the desire to play Russian Roulette with your brain.
Continue reading “I want a new drug”

This story is a few weeks old, but still worth mentioning. It appears two men are suspected of “beating up” (don’t you love it when news agencies use terms like this? this is a crime, right? seems like “assaulted” makes more sense, for the same reason that the Beaver never got assaulted by the school bully, but I digress) at least one homeless person in the downtown area.

What I especially enjoyed about this story was this quote:

“They don’t care about the homeless out here, and we are not going to tolerate it. We are going to hunt them down and take them to jail,” said Sacramento Police Department spokesman Sgt. Terrell Marshall.

Man, that’s rich. Because, you know, being homeless is like being black, or tall, or Republican, right? You are who you are and your local police force is out to protect you. Well, unless you get caught hitting the sauce a little hard and disturbing the peace (because you can’t really get drunk at home, right?) in which case you wind up in a cell with some dudes suspected of beating you up.

But aren’t they all? You know there isn’t much going on, or your boss is trying to tell you something, when all you can report from your local beat is that a high school student was caught with pot.