A Travis-ty at My58

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Travis & KellyMeet Kelly and Travis, co-winners of the Host Hunt competition on My58. Faithful readers will know that I had a pick to click in this race, but I’m simply shocked, shocked that Travis pulled ahead of the pack.

For a taste of what you’re in for, check out Kelly and Travis as Phoebe and Joey announcing that MyTV has taken the bold step of airing “Friends.” See if you can get past the words “smelly cat,” I couldn’t. (I can’t link you to it, so if you think you have the stomach, visit Travis’s page and click on “Teaming Up: Travis And Kelly” in the video list.)

Lest you think this is a case of sour grapes, now click on “Teaming Up: Travis And Akiba” and tell me that Akiba doesn’t mop the floor with the poor sap. Or check out the “Art Event Challenge” where Travis has the genius idea of making the kids do all the talking or, if you have an hour to kill, watch his “Mall Challenge” video where he talks to a poor young woman, clearly smitten, for an eternity about MyNet’s “Fashion House.”

In all that he does, Travis bears the telltale “deer in the headlights” look of a man whose brain has the size and capacity of a deer. Also he seems slightly nervous. But he must have something all the other male contestants lacked–either a legion of strung-along girlfriends, compromising photos of My58 brass, or (from the looks of it) his fabulous index fingers have hypnotic powers.

About CoolDMZ

"X-ray vision to see in between / Where's my kimono and my time machine?"

10 Responses to A Travis-ty at My58

  1. pilingon says:

    Drink Of Choice: Protein shake during the week, Jager bombs on the weekend.

    but not to be outdone by Kelly…

    Role Model: Those who laugh in the face of struggle and dance in the face of hatred.

    vs Akiba’s:

    Role Model: My dad

    I rest my case.

  2. NotBitter says:

    He’s an amazing idiot. Truly more of a mimbo than one could ever imagine. SacValley TV continues to make enormous strides backwards.

    My condoloences to Kelly for having to work with that hack for the next year. There were a slew out there with better talent, but none with better abs.

  3. kit says:

    sweet tapdancing moses, did travis really make a joke about fes’ accent on that 70’s show in front of ana?

    god bless you sacramento, for choosing the whitest and stupidest two of the bunch. diversity is alive and well in the capital city.

  4. CoolDMZ says:

    thank you kit for bringing that to light; My58 has provided us with over an hour of Travis goodness to peruse and i think we would do our fellow Sacramentans a good service by watching as much of it as we can each stomach and noting the key points, to save the others the trouble!

  5. that70scommenter says:

    i find it hard to believe a young man fitting Travis’s profile has never seen “That 70s Show,” but if you’re going to do a Fes impression, shouldn’t you … actually do a Fes impression? i think my cat could do Fes…

  6. Grind house says:

    Why do I picture the lot of you being greasy, hairy, acne prone, racist slobs who have no friends except those who share the same pathetic view on life that most losers do? Oh, maybe its because your combined stench of jealousy reaches far beyond the puter screen. It obvious that most of you lowlifes are fat pigs who could never get a person of Travis’ caliber, no matter how much effort you put into it. The left over haters are probably ass greasers who would rather suck his cock than have a few drinks with the guy. What’s wrong with the selection of Travis? He’s not a geek, a couch potato, or a social cockroach like yourself? The guy is genuine, sincere, and real. He doesn’t put up a facade when the lights go on, what you see is what you get. An idiot? The guy is actually pretty successful. He owns his own business and also works in real estate. He also comes from a small town that instills high values and morals and respect for your fellow neighbors. Last time I checked, that’s not too bad. He was picked to be a host by a group of trained professionals who evaluate talent for a living, not monkies. So who are you to be so critcal of a process you know nothing about? What are you trained to do? Probably sit on your ass, eat, shit, sleep, and repeat. Let me let you in on a little secret, Sacramento is filled with crime, poverty, pollution, and everything associated with disease and filth. Perhaps this is breath of fresh air in a place that desperately needs it.

  7. adamant says:

    Somebody has a crush!

  8. CoolDMZ says:

    I missed the part in his profile where he said he could end crime, poverty, pollution, disease and filth!

    Wow, you’re totally right about everything. My training in shitting was from some of the best schools in the East Coast.

  9. Grind house says:

    Wow, you’re totally right about everything. My training in shitting was from some of the best schools in the East Coast.

    All that “schooln'”and you couldn’t come up with a more original response? My advice is to go back to the inbreed-run backwoods JC that stole your money and ask for a significant refund, cause they made you more igorant then you already were. Literacy doesn’t exist east of the mississip. Check the stats.

    Nope didn’t say he was superman, but by judging the crime rate in Sacramento, it’s safe to say they are lacking in civility. Adding a tax paying productive citizen to the mix should be welcomed.

  10. cooldmz says:

    well i never! i’ve half a mind to ring up my old friend, Dean Cletus Slackjaw, who ran the esteemed backwoods JC that welcomed my forty cents per gummester!