Here we go, it’s Right Awn! Friday time!
As many of you are well aware, we like to take this time every week to paws – I mean, pause – and give recognition to someone who may be going the extra mile to make a contribution to society, or just do something worth some kudos.
Rarely do we feel inclined to give a shout out to someone in government. Why? Well first, they aren’t quite the little guy. And second, they rarely do anything for which you write awn about.
But this week? Right Awn! boldly goes where Right Awn! has not gone before…
Assemblyman Bill Maze (R-Visalia) , come awn down! You are the next selection for The Awn is Right!
A bill making it a crime for a mountain lion to attack a human has been introduced into the state Legislature.
Assembly Bill 2273, introduced by Assemblyman Bill Maze, R-Visalia, is intended to make victims of mountain lion attacks eligible for compensation for their injuries through the state crime victims’ fund, according to Somke Mastrup, deputy director of the state Department of Fish and Game. For them to be eligible, they must be crime victims.
Attaboy, Bill Maze! Let’s put those criminals in jail! Nevermind the shootings, slayings, embezzling, and other such crimes that has plagued us so far this year. We gotta get dem critters!
Of course, with the introduction of a bill that makes mountain lions criminals, there are several things that need to be hashed out. Would a mountain lion, say, be innocent until proven guilty, requiring a trial in a court of law? Would said mountain lion be judged by a jury of his or her peers? Would they even be given the right to an attorney?
You know what, forget all that. Let’s not make the mountain lion a criminal. Let’s call them unlawful combatants. Then , we can just throw them in jail and forget about them!
Regardless, we applaud your efforts, Assemblyman. It’s comforting to know that someone in places much higher than us is working tirelessly to watch our backs. RIGHT AWN!
The Sac Rag 
25,000 mountain lions will march on the State Capitol next Tuesday. Jon us and support your mountain lion brothers and sisters. The Mountain Lion was here first, and without us, there would be no “California” as we know it today. We call for all Californians to join us on a general Day of strike on May 1.
Are we not people AND Mountain Lions? Mountain Lions should have all the same rights as other people. Join us– or your deer meat will cost $100,000 a pound!
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