Geraldo to speak at State Capitol

On May 8, award winning journalist and pop culture icon Geraldo Rivera will be the featured guest at the California Latino Caucus Speaker Series. He will be discussing his new book “His Panic – Why Americans Fear Hispanics in the US”. The first 100 to RSVP will receive a free copy of the book, which will also be available for sale and for autographs after his lecture. Anyone wishing to attend should RSVP to the office of Senator Gil Cedillo at 651-4022. The event will take place at the State Capitol from 11:30 -12:30.

Sources to the SacRag have uncovered a number of shocking rumors about Geraldo’s additional plans for his visit.

10. Geraldo agreed to only appear in a room with no chairs in case skinheads show up.

9. Geraldo is planning a live special where we will find out what is really hidden in Jesse Unruh’s tomb.

8. Geraldo will be performing his new hit single Rico Suave from his forthcoming album.

7. Geraldo will reveal the identity of 7 Satanists who are currently members of the State Assembly.

6. Geraldo will expose details of the love triangle between Marilyn Monroe, John Burton and Phil Burton.

5. Geraldo will leak secret Big 5 negotiations to solve the budget crisis by drawing plans of the compromise in the sand with a stick.

4. Geraldo has vowed to shave his mustache if Jeff Denham is recalled.

3. Geraldo will be filming a future special titled “Republicans in lace panties and the women who love them”.

2. Geraldo will announce that he had fat liposuctioned from his buttocks and injected into Governor Schwarzenegger’s face to fight his wrinkles.

1. Geraldo will reveal shocking details that the milk truck that crashed into the State Capitol was actually an inside job to justify added security barriers around the property.

8 thoughts on “Geraldo to speak at State Capitol”

  1. True story. One time in Malibu Geraldo was right in front of me in line for coffee. He was wearing spandex workout pants. Checking out his backside I thought “man, that lady has a great butt. I wonder what kind of workouts she does.” I was amazed when “that lady” turned around was actually Geraldo. I guess what I’m saying is he has a great tush for a woman.

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  2. “Rivera has received more than 170 awards for journalism, including the prestigious George Foster Peabody Award, three national and seven local Emmys, two Columbia-Dupont and two additional Scripps Howard Journalism Awards.”

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  3. Stickie is right, but in Glenn’s defense, Kris Pickle of CBS13 is nominated for a local Emmy this year. Actually that’s great, way to go Kris!!

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  4. The fact that Stickie is correct is but a sad commentary on the depths to which journalism has sunk in this modern day. Woodward and Bernstein he ain’t.

    But he does have one helluva moustache.

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  5. To be fair, Geraldo won a good number of these awards and was a highly respected investigative journalist before he became famous for sleaze, tabloid TV and hype. But, as a trailblazer in these fields, he is also culpable in the rise of crappy info-tainment and the lowering of media standards to feed the short attention span, dumb-as-shit, celebrity, controversy and sex obsessed cravings of today’s audience.

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  6. It’s not that hispanics are feared. It’s that America doesn’t want more people like Geraldo Rivera or Gil Cedillo in this country. Heck- I’ll take 10 Juan Valdezeses over a Pat Robertson any day. Poor Jerry King.

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