Virginity Auction!

Future Sac State grad student “Natalie Dylan” is setting the blogosphere and horny-man media afire by offering her virginity in exchange for tuition. Her current offer is $250,000, which makes me wonder why she doesn’t opt to pay for an education from a more prestigious university.

Oh, that’s right, she’s a virgin whore selling her body with assistance from Howard Stern. Never mind.

16 thoughts on “Virginity Auction!”

  1. I hate that I’ve bought in to this obvious publicity ploy by commenting on it, but I couldn’t help howl when reading the CBS piece and seeing this line:
    “All she wants to do is get her master’s degree in family and marriage counseling and be a psychologist.”

    Maybe her first client can be the married man who will spring for the high priced fling.

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  2. She’s 21 and still a virgin…at this point, that technically makes her less of a slut than most people here whose first sexual encounters weren’t with their current life partners.

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  3. For the record:

    “Howard noted that the NY Daily News had picked up news of Dennis Hof’s appearance on today’s show, but they got the story all wrong: ‘I really want to tell Dennis to go home…I gotta get out of the Dennis Hof business.’ Howard explained that he didn’t want to be involved in the auction for the virginity of Dennis Hof’s Bunny Ranch girls, he simply wanted to talk to them about how and why someone would do such a thing, and Dennis spun it like Howard was ‘kicking off’ the auction.’

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  4. Aw! Poor Howard Stern, getting used by someone for publicity. The nerve of them.

    “Dylan earned her bachelor’s degree in women’s studies from Sacramento State and plans to get her master’s at the school beginning in January. According to the Bunny Ranch website, Natalie wants to earn hear Master’s degree without having to work while doing her studies.”

    Dear Ms. Dylan,

    1) You “want to earn your Master’s degree without having to work while doing your studies.” Er- yeah- good luck getting a job after you graduate with no (relevant) work experiance. Part of the program is probably doing an internship.

    2) Don’t forget to put “prostitute” under the “former employment” lines in your licencing application to be a “therapist” after getting that great Masters from Sac State. That’ll look good on your resume too.

    3) Buy virtue of the fact that you’ve put yourself on the block, you ain’t worth $250,000. Maybe $25,000 tops. Your picture doesn’t increase the value of any asset being offered. That you are in a grad program doesn’t matter either, as your mind isn’t the asset. Even if it was, no guy is going to spend $250k to talk to you about “woman’s studies.”

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  5. Oh, Turty, I SO want to believe your phrasing “buy virtue” was an intentional pun and not just a typo. Please say it was! 🙂

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  6. ” Natalie says she won’t give up her virginity to the highest bidder. She’s also seeking other qualities from her first lover. “I’m looking for intelligence and an overall nice person,” said Dylan.”

    A nice, intelligent man willing to pay $250k for her virginity?!?! That’s funny!

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  7. Like all other commodities, buying virtue is subject to inflation as well I guess. I was trying harder to work a pun into the “asset” commentary, but couldn’t figure out if the polygraph/medical examination offer included all orifaces: I’d donate a buck to anyone collecting just to degrade this slut as much as possible.

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  8. My spouse doesn’t mind a little private degredation going back and forth. Mostly chains, paddles, peanut butter (since hot chilies seem to cause gas), and forced watching of “Hole in the Wall” or “Big Brother.” A little late night exhibitionism from time to time- less so since the neighbor’s tree house went up. Who else is sharing?

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  9. It’s laughable. She is a victim of cognitive dissonance and if she had a better eduction she might be able to see that. Her genius for marketing and PR bode ill for her in the future of supposedly “helping others.”

    No one is worth that kind of bank. Ever.

    It is lamentable that she is stooping to this extreme position to attempt to further herself. This is simply capitalism at work. Any normal woman would ask/make efforts to have her credit cleared (supposedly her “stepfather” took out loans in her name) and would find a way to finance her graduate studies without becoming a prostitute. Because she has been allowed to surface and exploit a reactionary culture with serious problems regarding female sexuality she is deluded that her supposed “virginity” has some worth.

    This reminds me of the people who auction Toast Imprinted with Christ. Sheer delusion.

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  10. Dan, I never called her a slut. I called her a whore. Technically, she is not even a whore, as she has not done anything. I suppose this would make her a wannabe whore. Emulating her big sis, awwwww!

    At this point, she is reminding me of a 12 year-old wandering around town wearing a bedazzled shirt that says “Porn Star” and some short-shorts that say “Old Sac” on the ass.

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  11. First off all she AIN’T A VIRGIN. What about MELVIN?? You forgot about those 2 years you where with him? So if you are stupid enough to bid you must just go to a massage parlor cause she ain’t NO VIRGIN!

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  12. Yeah, what about The Melvins?

    King Buzzo reminds me of Sweet Lou on the Super Globetrotters. Just when you think everyone is trapped behind a giant wall of funk, Sweet Lou would pull a giant rope ladder out of his afro. But why would they need a rope ladder when Twiggy could turn himself INTO a rope?

    Wait, what were we talking about?

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