Tales from dancing on laps

This lap dance story is rich:

When Helen Hart tried to jump start business at her house by putting up a sign for adult tap dancing classes, the 79-year-old grandma started fielding calls for adult lap dancing services.

“I get maybe three to 17 [calls] a week,” Helen said. “I’m nearly 80, so age does mean something. Can you imagine a man coming to the door and I open the door and I go, ‘Yeah?’ He goes, ‘Oh, never mind.'”

It’s made even richer by Helen’s sense of humor…

This lap dance story is not so rich:

Sacramento’s Sheriff’s Department is calling for a ban on lap dancing, but only for two adult bars the county has been battling for years over zoning issues…”The physical nature of the lap dance creates an unsavory element, if you will. I mean, it attracts an unsavory element that leads to prostitution, loitering around these businesses,” counters Sgt. Tim Curran, spokesman for the Sacramento Sheriff’s Department…”There’s no hands touching the customers or customers touching the girls, not at all,” said Mull. He also said in a time of high unemployment and fewer dollars flowing into government coffers, the lap dance ban makes no sense. If the bars have to close down, he said 130 jobs will be lost.

I don’t think the hands touching thing is what concerns people here…but, I could be wrong. You could always just invite the unsavory element to your house for a Pole Dance party!

Author: RonTopofIt

RonTopofIt is a complex personality, as are most of the small breed of modern day renaissance millionaires. He wishes more people were like him and yet believes that it takes all kinds. You've met RonTopofIt many times, you just don't remember him.

9 thoughts on “Tales from dancing on laps”

  1. The fact that she is so specific (3 to 17 calls a week versus..oh, about 10) makes me picture her in her kitchen with a little notebook recording them all. Now, if she has caller ID and could post those that call for her services, that would be a story.


  2. If we ban strippers prostitution will go away! We know where the strip clubs are. Auburn Blvd, and Sunrise South of 50. So if you care about this “element” and you are dumb enough to buy a house or set up shop in those two areas, you are an idiot. Hookers don’t become doctors and teachers when you crack down on a certain area. They move to an area that had low levels of prostitution before. Let the ghetto be the ghetto. If you choose to live there then so be it, but don’t disperse your problems to what are now alright neighborhoods. The unsavory crowd it attracts is your dad 20 years ago. What do you think grandpa was doing while fighting the Nazi’s in Europe. I’ll tell ya’ he was doin French Who’res and probably popping pills. Is our greatest generation an “element.”


  3. This really got me thinking about some kind of weird tap dance/lap dance combo performance. Shuffalo to buffalo; bump and grind; jazz hands!


  4. Why don’t they just tax the strip clubs out of business? If they taxed the strip clubs at $5 per head, with a local tax, you could predict where they will move or raise a ton of revenue. Win Win


  5. nick, those pill-popping whore-mongerers fought for your right to call them that. They would also have kicked your ass for saying that, back in the day. Not so much today probably.


  6. Is a whore mongerer someone who sells whore mongers?

    Where is the grammar police when you need them? I need a ruling


  7. The really stupid thing about the Lap Dance Ban is that they claim it will remove an Unsavory element from the neighborhood, yet about 0.2 miles down the road there is a Totally Nude “Juice Bar” that will continue to be allowed to have lap dances. Also if you look at most of video from reporters it is outside only one of the two bars… want to know why that is? Because one of the “Respectable” businesses that is the other bar’s neighbor is an Adult Book Store.


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