…Judge Morrison England that is.
In a court ruling today, Judge England of Sacramento, dismissed a charge from a plaintiff that Quaker Cereals had blatantly misled consumers by labeling one of its products as “Crunch Berries” when in fact the product contained no real fruit. First of all, how dare someone try to impugn the character of retired naval hero Capt. Horatio Magellan Crunch. Second this person is obviously an attention seeking moron, who will now probably try to sue Kellogg’s for including no real smacks in its Sugar Smacks cereal. Third, and lastly, Judge England is awesome!
I was fortunate enough to sit in a jury in a trial adjudicated by Judge England, and it was truly impressive. First of all, he’s straight out of central casting: a barrel-chested, deep-voiced, African-American man with graying hair and a stern-but-fair disposition that some judges work their whole careers at creating. Besides that, he’s a fair, even-handed judge that runs his courtroom efficiently. But most of all, he seems to take no personal pleasure in the power that he wields as a judge. If there’s one mark against judges, it’s their somewhat transparent love of their own power. Not with Judge England. He seems to be everything the public looks for in a judge: fairness, toughness, and humility. Don’t be surprised to see him on the short-list of Supreme Court nominees one day.