Be on the lookout, or not

Citizens of the Sacragosphere:

Police are requesting your help! Authorities are looking for the person, place or thing that may or may not have robbed what could have been a bank somewhere within our area. Witnesses say they saw what could have been something. Be on the look out for a man or woman, with blonde hair or maybe a wig, wearing a black jacket and pink dress unless they are wearing something different today.

Be vigilant, if you wish.

Sac Rag News. We report. You figure it out.