Category: News

Direct Deposit

Here we go again, Sacramento. We’ve been up to our old tricks:

Several people were injured when a car smashed into a credit union office in Sacramento this afternoon.

The incident happened at the Golden 1 Credit Union on College Town Drive near US-50 and Howe Avenue. According to the Sacramento Police Officer Tod Barnes, the driver of the car, an 85-year-old man mistakenly stepped on the gas pedal when backing out of a parking spot and his Volvo lurched forward into the outside ATM vestibule. The car struck a woman waiting to use the ATM.

That’s right Sacto. We just crashed another building! But wait a minute…
Continue reading “Direct Deposit”

Splash, dash, and crash

I think we were due for another one. It’s been how many days now, Sacramento? Ah, eighteen…

But this one is different. No buildings were harmed in the crash of this car:

CARMICHAEL, Calif. — A violent sneeze caught a cabbie off guard on Monday, causing him to lose control and veer his vehicle into a car wash.

The resulting wreck severed a mater [sic] main, spewing water, mud and rock over a wide area at the Splash & Dash Car Wash at 6505 Fair Oaks Blvd.

That’s right: a violent sneeze. His cab got sneeze-jacked. Let’s not be TOO quick to judge though.

Now apparently, the driver recently returned from India. And if you’ve ever been a passenger in a taxi in India, you’ll be amazed at what those drivers can do. They could drive a truck through traffic like threading a needle in a warm stick of butter. That had to be one HELL of a sneeze.

In other news, Splash & Dash Car Wash at 6505 Fair Oaks Blvd. is offering free car washes while supplies last.

Glad it wasn’t the flaming bag of poo trick

The AP reports (via cbs13.com) that an…”8-year-old girl allegedly shot by a neighbor angered by children mischievously knocking at his door underwent successful surgery to have a pellet removed from her spine, authorities said Saturday.”

Ugh. I’m getting to the point, however, that I don’t know what irritates me more, the craziness of these stories or the manner in which they are reported. For example:

The girl was struck in the back, screamed and fell, authorities said.

Is this little tidbit of information really necessary? An 8-year-old girl just got plucked with a .22-caliber pellet rifle what do you think she is going to do? And since when did pellet rifles come in calibers? I’m no firearm enthusiast but the last time I heard of a .22 caliber anything it was called a gun which used bullets which can kill things.

An Austrian and Texan walked into a bar…

As most of us know, President George Bush will be making an appearance in West Sacramento on Saturday for an Earth Day event. Arnold Governegger is using Bush’s swing through the state as an opportunity to plead his case for federal assistance regarding our levees to the unyielding feds:

“The situation could not be more serious,” Schwarzenegger said. “Right now we are one big storm or one earthquake away from a major disaster just like Katrina, everyone seems to understand that but the federal government.”

Let’s be fair to the feds, Arnold. As we know, the federal government will only understand the potential for disaster after the disaster happens. Until then, no one will have predicted the failure of our levees too, right?

On a related note, Assembly Speaker Fabian Nunez does not appear to be entertained by the Arnold vs. George megamatch main event:

“It’s not good enough for us that our Governor is pounding on the Bush administration. We need to see real results. We want to see money coming back into California.”

It’s always more fun when money’s on the line.

To Catch a Thief

From the “hmmmm” file, News10.net reports of a new technique to catch would be thieves at Lodi High School. In order to curb a recent a rash of burglaries local police officials have “…coated cell phones, CD players, cash and other valuables with a nearly invisible powder or paste that changes color with body heat. The powder, designed for use on currency, stains fingers a bright purple. The vivid color remains for several days.”

I warned you, hmmmm.

“We weren’t telling any of these kids to go steal this stuff,” explains Canestrino. “We were just kind of providing the opportunity to choose to do it on their own.”

“Kind of”? This is the police officer’s quote, mind you. You know, like a grown up and stuff.

“Let’s face it. Kids make bad decisions and this is more about a learning experience for them,” said Canestrino. He hopes publicity surrounding the sting will reduce property crime on campus.

Ok, ha ha, jokes over. Seriously, what are you really doing to catch the thieves?

Pepe Le Peu visits Sacramento

They always say, the first step to solving a problem is acknowledging that you have the problem in the first place. When you have a problem, never feel ashamed to seek help:

If you were a skunk with your head stuck in a jar, what would you do? At least one skunk in that predicament knew how to get help.

Unfortunately, while the skunk knew what the problem was, the human being it approached for help was at a loss:

“It walked up to me and I took off running and went and called my father and said ‘You’ve got to see this and help me,'” Smith told News10’s Jonathan Mumm.

Fortunately, all three (father, daughter and skunk) were able to put their heads together (figuratively of course), to get that skunk out of the jar for a breath of fresh air.

Gas Debate: More Fuel for the Fire

Regular Sac Rag readers know that we love to debate the principles of supply and demand as they pertain to the Sacramento housing market. With that in mind, I’d like to offer up a preemptive discussion about gas prices and the proposed annual Gas Boycott that is surely making it’s way to your electronic mail inbox.

A boycott of a couple of brands of gasoline won’t result in lower overall prices. Prices at all the non-boycotted outlets would rise due to the temporarily limited supply and increased demand, making the original prices look cheap by comparison. The shunned outlets could then make a killing by offering gasoline at its “normal” (i.e., pre-boycott) price or by selling off their output to the non-boycotted companies, who will need the extra supply to meet demand. The only person who really gets hurt in this proposed scheme is the service station operator, who has almost no control over the price of gasoline.

While we’re on the topic, don’t forget to visit this site to find the lowest prices in our fair city.

And now, for something complete fake

My dad brought to my attention PR Watch’s report on TV news stations airing video news releases (VNRs), which are video press releases produced by corporations, the government, or non-governmental organizations for easy “plug-and-play” use by news stations. Often the local outfits will create what looks like an editorial piece that, in actuality, consists mostly of video footage given to them by one of these organizations (and which obviously slants in favor of the organization) without any disclaimers about the source of the content.

Two hits in Sacramento (KMAX 31 and Fox40) on their list of 77 stations, both regarding the American Dental Association’s spot on a new screening technique that uses saliva. You always knew they were crooked, didn’t you. Yes, I’m talking about all three.

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiii.

Here’s another one for our record books:

Dr. Katz uses a sophisticated clinical instrument, The Halimeter, to measure levels of bad breath at his clinics. Any reading above 70 means that someone has offensive breath.

The highest reading ever? 1800 – from a physician in Sacramento, CA who drank 2 bottles of wine daily and smoked 2 packs of cigarettes every day. Both habits are bound to cause bad breath because they make the mouth extremely dry.

Sacramento. The Bad Breath Capital of the USA.

The yuppies are coming

Who says we’re in a housing market bubble? Not Knights Landing, that’s for sure:

The sleepy river town of Knights Landing in Yolo County has become a target for developers.

Two builders are about to start construction on the first subdivisions in decades in the village beside the banks of the Sacramento River. They are small projects, totaling fewer than 100 homes, but one of the developers expects to submit a plan to build 600 additional homes in town…

The tract is about twice the size of the town itself. About 65 acres is in the designated urban area, and would be commercial development; the balance is agricultural land. In theory, 800 acres could hold 3,200 homes, assuming a fairly low-density project of four units per acre.

Let’s see…”on the banks of the Sacramento River”. That sounds promising.

But here is what really caught my eye…
Continue reading “The yuppies are coming”