Splash, dash, and crash

I think we were due for another one. It’s been how many days now, Sacramento? Ah, eighteen…

But this one is different. No buildings were harmed in the crash of this car:

CARMICHAEL, Calif. — A violent sneeze caught a cabbie off guard on Monday, causing him to lose control and veer his vehicle into a car wash.

The resulting wreck severed a mater [sic] main, spewing water, mud and rock over a wide area at the Splash & Dash Car Wash at 6505 Fair Oaks Blvd.

That’s right: a violent sneeze. His cab got sneeze-jacked. Let’s not be TOO quick to judge though.

Now apparently, the driver recently returned from India. And if you’ve ever been a passenger in a taxi in India, you’ll be amazed at what those drivers can do. They could drive a truck through traffic like threading a needle in a warm stick of butter. That had to be one HELL of a sneeze.

In other news, Splash & Dash Car Wash at 6505 Fair Oaks Blvd. is offering free car washes while supplies last.

Thank you, George Bush

As we got on Highway 80, at the West El Camino exit, we were startled to see all the cars at a dead stop. Especially so since they were neatly lined up just after our exit – with the open highway about 50 feet in front of them. Aha! we then spotted the culprit : a row of parked police cars — flashing lights and all — were blocking the road. We were stuck (or so I thought) since there was no room/movement for us to merge on to 80 (not like we wanted to get on 80 at that point) and the police didn’t appear to be in a negotiating mood.

We turned on the radio and learned that President Bush was in the vicinity, they were clearing the highway for him (so he wouldn’t be stuck in traffic? or for his safety? Call me logical, but wouldn’t his entourage be safer/unidentified without being the only ones on the road?).
Continue reading “Thank you, George Bush”

Glad it wasn’t the flaming bag of poo trick

The AP reports (via cbs13.com) that an…”8-year-old girl allegedly shot by a neighbor angered by children mischievously knocking at his door underwent successful surgery to have a pellet removed from her spine, authorities said Saturday.”

Ugh. I’m getting to the point, however, that I don’t know what irritates me more, the craziness of these stories or the manner in which they are reported. For example:

The girl was struck in the back, screamed and fell, authorities said.

Is this little tidbit of information really necessary? An 8-year-old girl just got plucked with a .22-caliber pellet rifle what do you think she is going to do? And since when did pellet rifles come in calibers? I’m no firearm enthusiast but the last time I heard of a .22 caliber anything it was called a gun which used bullets which can kill things.

Rookie mistakes, and this principal ain’t my pal

Interesting story in today’s Bee about Sac City Unified’s problems with teacher turnover and inexperience. Paints an overall dismal picture of SCUSD’s future: rookie teachers in SCUSD deserve a big Sac Rag RIGHT AWN.

You know who doesn’t? Kathy Kingsbury, principal at Pacific Elementary School, who praises her inexperienced staff but complains “the biggest hassle is everybody having babies all the time.” I know, right? How dare they. You know what would help Kathy Kingsbury’s job a lot, is nobody actually having babies at any time. No whining mouths to feed and/or educate. I hope for her sake that any of her teachers currently out on maternity leave found something else to read this morning, though in that case they’d have missed what was otherwise a pretty eye-opening piece.

(Nutjob translation to this post: Right, because unless our womenfolk start popping out 30 apiece, we’ll have to start taking Mohammad’s piano piece Czechoslovakia bacon hat.)

Computer Talk

With your oversized bifocals and pocket protector firmly in place, please to point your Internet browser here to view the “Top 10 Windows XP Tips Of All Time.”

I come across lists like these all the time which tend to simply advertise for third party software or restate the obvious. However, this particular one really addresses some issues you may be facing with your XP machine. Whether it’s Tip 10 (Halt background services to improve performance), Tip 8 (Scrub your hard drive clean) or the CoolDMZ favorite Tip 7 (Run two displays on the same PC), there’s something for everyone…and by “everyone” I mean like 4 or 5 of you Sac Rag readers that understand what a Registry is.

And no, Runnergirl, it’s not THAT kind of registry.

Park It! (Mah Jong’s, Spataro’s & Mason’s)

In the last few months I’ve made a few trips downtown to some of our city’s newest eateries. Amongst the hullabaloo and fanfare, some interesting places have emerged to tickle our palette. (Yeah, I know it’s a mixed metaphor. So what? It’s called poetic license. Get off your high horse, jerkwad!) One of the newest features of the landscape is the “foodplex,” a connected combo of various dining establishments offering differnt types of food and varying levels of ambience. The most notable of these examples is “The Park,” which features Mah Jong’s Asian Diner, Mason’s and peripherally Spataro. Each of these places offers its own style of eats and eating and we’ll go through each one briefly and give you the lowdown.
Continue reading “Park It! (Mah Jong’s, Spataro’s & Mason’s)”

“Family” “Fun” at Raley Field (Rivercats 7, Raniers 3)

Enjoyed another night game at Raley Field last night. Thursday nights are “Crystal $1 Family Feast” nights, featuring hot dogs and ice cream bars for $1 each. The ‘Cats were knocking the ball around and indeed went on to win 7-3. (Props to Keith Ginter!)

The family fun got even funner when Jose Morban, last night’s “K-MAN” struck out, winning each attendee a free entree at…Hooters! That’s right, “Family Feast” night featured a prize sponsored by everybody’s favorite owl-themed family restaurant. In another mind-numbing scheduling faux pas, Thursday nights are also “Rivercats Idol” nights, sponsored by Heineken. Strap the kids in the SUV and head down to Raley Field for $1 hot dogs, Dinger bobbleheads, and ta-tas and beer.
Continue reading ““Family” “Fun” at Raley Field (Rivercats 7, Raniers 3)”

An Austrian and Texan walked into a bar…

As most of us know, President George Bush will be making an appearance in West Sacramento on Saturday for an Earth Day event. Arnold Governegger is using Bush’s swing through the state as an opportunity to plead his case for federal assistance regarding our levees to the unyielding feds:

“The situation could not be more serious,” Schwarzenegger said. “Right now we are one big storm or one earthquake away from a major disaster just like Katrina, everyone seems to understand that but the federal government.”

Let’s be fair to the feds, Arnold. As we know, the federal government will only understand the potential for disaster after the disaster happens. Until then, no one will have predicted the failure of our levees too, right?

On a related note, Assembly Speaker Fabian Nunez does not appear to be entertained by the Arnold vs. George megamatch main event:

“It’s not good enough for us that our Governor is pounding on the Bush administration. We need to see real results. We want to see money coming back into California.”

It’s always more fun when money’s on the line.

To Catch a Thief

From the “hmmmm” file, News10.net reports of a new technique to catch would be thieves at Lodi High School. In order to curb a recent a rash of burglaries local police officials have “…coated cell phones, CD players, cash and other valuables with a nearly invisible powder or paste that changes color with body heat. The powder, designed for use on currency, stains fingers a bright purple. The vivid color remains for several days.”

I warned you, hmmmm.

“We weren’t telling any of these kids to go steal this stuff,” explains Canestrino. “We were just kind of providing the opportunity to choose to do it on their own.”

“Kind of”? This is the police officer’s quote, mind you. You know, like a grown up and stuff.

“Let’s face it. Kids make bad decisions and this is more about a learning experience for them,” said Canestrino. He hopes publicity surrounding the sting will reduce property crime on campus.

Ok, ha ha, jokes over. Seriously, what are you really doing to catch the thieves?

Pepe Le Peu visits Sacramento

They always say, the first step to solving a problem is acknowledging that you have the problem in the first place. When you have a problem, never feel ashamed to seek help:

If you were a skunk with your head stuck in a jar, what would you do? At least one skunk in that predicament knew how to get help.

Unfortunately, while the skunk knew what the problem was, the human being it approached for help was at a loss:

“It walked up to me and I took off running and went and called my father and said ‘You’ve got to see this and help me,'” Smith told News10’s Jonathan Mumm.

Fortunately, all three (father, daughter and skunk) were able to put their heads together (figuratively of course), to get that skunk out of the jar for a breath of fresh air.