Colin Quinn: A Geographically-Challenged Jerk

I spent today at the Metro Chamber’s annual Perspectives event, and this year’s theme was “Great Minds Don’t Always Think Alike,” so it was no surprise that someone as flagrantly conservative as Rush Limbaugh would be followed up by someone like Colin Quinn.

I’ve long been a Colin Quinn fan, going back to his Remote Control days; however, today cast him in an entirely different light.

While there were a reported 3,100 people at today’s event, like most happenings in Sacramento, lots of people know each other. Anyone who has lived here for any length of time know that the six degrees of separation is practically non-existent in the 916 (and parts of the 530.) So, these 3,100 people are more of a community, rather than a random grouping of strangers — and this made Colin’s comments especially cutting because they were pointed at one of our own.

What could he have said that was so bad?

Prior to Colin’s taking the stage, Chamber President & CEO Matt Mahood made a couple brief comments and concluded by thanking his family for being with him today. He made a special mention to his father, recognizing that it wasn’t easy for his father to be there (health issues?), but he was so glad his father was there and that he loves him. Matt was on the verge of tears, and he’s no cry baby. There were many people in the audience touched by this, and it was particularly heart-wrenching after hearing the previous speaker, Chris Gardner, tell his own life story and his dedication to his children.

One of the first things out of Colin’s mouth, other than complaining that he’d been waiting backstage for too long (even though he came on only 15 minutes later than planned) was ripping into Matt Mahood for thanking his father. “What the &$%^# is today’s event anyway, Matt.. some kind of @#(*$ tribute? What the *#*$*?” We were aghast.

Seriously, other than Turty Squip, who would mock that?

A few sentences later, he mentioned how many prisons we have around here (“What, like nine?” he asked), and that two of our bragging points are that Charles Manson lives six minutes away (he’s in Corcoran, south of Fresno), and Scott Peterson is only 10 minutes away (really, in San Quentin.) He referred to the “San Jose-Sacramento area” in another comment, but by then, I’d tuned out, and I was checking for any updates on the ‘rag on my handheld. People were filing out in droves, so I know I wasn’t the only one unimpressed by this d-list blowhard.

Overall, he seemed disorganized, unprepared, drunk and/or stoned, and had nothing to contribute.

10 thoughts on “Colin Quinn: A Geographically-Challenged Jerk”

  1. first thing’s first. colin quinn being referred to as a great mind gave me the laugh i’ve been needing and he’s been looking for his entire comedic carrer.
    secondly, without a group of late night writers he’s got nothing. even his show that attempted to discuss current events was a train wreck from start to finish with it’s group of illinformed very unfunny comics.


  2. that’s awsome! i love this 2007 series. you have rush limbaugh and Gen Abizaid and the guy you get as a rebuttal is colin quinn? that’s like bringing a squirt gun to a 3 alarm fire. they should have gotten Amy Goodman or the like.


  3. These things are ridiculous. I assume you didn’t pay money, and had a free pass, right? This lecture circuit scam never actually has anyone interesting, critical-minded or even slightly marginal. The voices of big business, big media, big government.


  4. Ridiculous? Is it more ridiculous than the “Peace and Freedom” lecture circuit scam, the “self-empowerment” lecture circuit scam, or even the “religious awakening” lecture circuit scam. What’s really ridiculous is how few really good speakers there are out there that can truly motivate people, change people’s minds, and push for a better society without trying to sell something.

    At least the folks at the “Perspectives” event have accomplished something pretty large in their lives and use those experiences to relay something bigger than themselves (except for Colin Quinn, who can’t even be a low-rent Bill Maher). Having to stand in front of groups almost everyday for work, I can tell you that being a good speaker is not easy, and despite his or her point of view, someone who is engaging and informative and well-spoken is pretty rare. The other truth is that it’s not cheap to travel the country getting your message across, so unless you’re selling snake oil, or you have a band of fisherman to help you through Galilee, someone is going to have to foot the bill, and you and I can’t afford it, so businesses are going to support the events.


  5. This was my third year attending this event, and past years’ speaker lineups have been better. I personally don’t pay, but my employer does. I do enjoy going, as there have been some pretty good presentations in the past (including John Edwards and Colin Powell), and it’s a great opportunity for me to see friends I haven’t seen in a while. Yes, I’m a corporate type and proud of it, darn it. Sue me.


  6. I do like that Powell guy. He seems like he’d be a hoot to go out drinking with.

    And, for the record, I’m totally not a corporate guy…except for the corporation I work for, and the one that pays Mrs. Eats, and the one that lent me the money to pay for our home, and the one that provides the computer I’m writing on and the one that paid Colin Quinn to come and make an ass of himself so that we’d have something to snark on over the weekend…and oh yeah, I love See’s candy.


  7. Who the he$$ is colin quinn? Probably good thing I didn’t go. Sound like his time slot was a good time to go to the bathroom.


  8. I’d go if the Masterbating Bear followed by the dog that poops on things from Late Night with Conan O’Brian were speaking.

    Now that would be a good line-up.

    It could be called “The Great American Debate: The Jerk-off or the Piece-of-Shit.” The reality of it, no one really has anything to offer anymore other then shit answers to jerk-off problems.


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