Sad News (Updated! High Speed Chase!)

John McCrea R.I.P.A traffic accident has taken the life of John McCrea, lead singer and songwriter for the band Cake. No official statement has been made by the band’s management, but sources close to the Rag report that the incident occurred last night after their sold out show in Bordeaux, France.

Band members were noshing at a patisserie when a delivery van for the business jumped onto the sidewalk and crashed onto the patio seating. McCrea was killed instantly. Trumpeter Vince DiFiore has reportedly been hospitalized, but his condition is unknown.

Cake formed in the early 1990’s in Sacramento and built a strong following in the alternative rock scene on the strength of early hits such as Rock and Roll Lifestyle, their cover of Gloria Gaynor’s I Will Survive, and The Distance, their biggest hit.

I have fond memories of seeing John performing solo at small cafes and open-mike nights, like at The Blackwater in Stockton, and even back then it was clear that he was a true talent. The SacRag extends condolences to his family and friends, and we will provide you with updates today as this news breaks.

Update! 12:10pm PDT

My bon ami in Bordeaux who obsessively monitors police frequencies reports that the suspect in the death of John McCrae has escaped police custody. He is currently being chased through the boulevards of Bordeaux by several police vehicles. My source has translated some of the broadcasts between dispatch and the pursuing vehicles that I will provide for you. Please keep in mind that his English is not great and he was transcribing in the heat of the moment:

Dispatch: Please update the behavior of the pie truck in ironic death of American folk hero.
Police car: Car 27, suspect north on Boulevard Polisson, no response to demands of stop. Suspect is going the distance, repeat, he is going for speed.
Dispatch: Proceed with cautionary manner, suspect is reported as desperate and dangerous as he is all alone, repeat, all alone in a time of need.

The SacRag is dedicated to updating you on this story as it unfolds, I will let you know if any other reports come from across the ocean straight to you, loyal readers.

12 thoughts on “Sad News (Updated! High Speed Chase!)”

  1. If this is a joke, it’s a sick, unforgivable joke and if it’s not – where are you getting your info?

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  2. Cake was eating cake, and was killed by a cake truck? Bad taste if not true (even for Mr./Mrs. Squip), sad and somewhat ironic if true.

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  3. If this is an April Fool’s Joke, which it must be, because there is no other news reporting this, it’s in incredibly poor taste, and totally immature. A mature joke is: Cake is playing a surprise concert tonight at the Blue Lamp- April Fools! Your joke is totally offensive and should be removed.

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  4. I don’t think the band is in any condition to be playing a show at the Blue Lamp tonight. You fans just want more and more.

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  5. This is indeed a “joke”. Har de har. Cake isn’t in France, they are preparing for their upcoming tour which starts in a few weeks.

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  6. First, it’s noon and there’s been no “updates.”

    Second, surely “Short Skirt, Long Jacket” was a bigger hit than their cover of “I Will Survive.”

    And third, this “joke” was cruel and in poor taste.

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  7. Yeah, this is really fucked up. I was about to call John’s brother to ask him what had happened. If I had not paused to read more than the headline (and subsequently realized the “Sinister Baker” article above it was related) I could have really scared the poor guy. Jesus, get some fucking sense. Sure, it’s April Fools, and yeah, the new article’s funny, but I think this whole thing was pretty poorly executed. I don’t want to mistakingly tell someone that his brother died just because of something like this. Please think ahead next time.

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  8. It might not go down in the record books as the FUNNIEST April Fool’s joke of all time, but then again….how many hits did you get on your site today??!!!!

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