The Arrival of Summer

The east coast may have their gophers to tell them how much more winter is left. For us? We know summer is upon us when the Arrow People take over the River City.

Yes, the Arrow People – those dancing, sunscreened and walkman-wearing sign bearers who stand on the corners of intersections, pointing you in the direction of the latest deals to be had. Whether they’re hocking a new sandwich shop, a $5 slice of pizza, a new housing development, a car dealership, or almost anything else, you know it’s summertime in the city when these people have hit the streets.

So, the next time you see one of the Arrow People getting jiggy widdit on the corner, roll your car window down, throw your fist up in the air and give them a solid SacRag “Right Awn!!”.

After all, summer’s here!

Sacramento’s Mean Streets

As if you didn’t know.

A recent study by Allstate Insurance of their auto claims has come to the conclusion that Sacramento drivers are among the nation’s worst. If you live here (yes yes, “you’ll know…”), you can expect to be involved in an auto collision once every 7.7 years.

Worry not, incompetent ones! The good news is we’re 170th out of 191! Deal with that, the rest of you suckier 21!!

The good news for me? I was rear-ended within my first three months of moving here. This means I have 7.45 years of collision-FREE driving ahead!

Happy Friday the 13th!

I’ve lived in a variety of cities in North America. Having been in Sacramento now for well over a year, I ask you: How useless are Sacramento’s traffic reports?

During a recent SacRag summit meeting in our favorite place, RonTopofIt and I were discussing the pointless inclusion of traffic reports in radio and TV news shows – the latter of which is even more useless if, like me, you don’t have a TV in your car (which begs the question – how useless can something get?).

My commute into work is from the south side (youandIknowitsthebestside, yo) via Highway 99 to midtown from Elk Grove (herein and forever more known as “The Grove”). If traffic reporters on the radio aren’t restating the obvious (“it’s rush hour, traffic is slow”), they don’t tell you about traffic events until well after they’ve occured, or simply don’t report on your highway at all.

Like today, for example. Radio traffic reports completely ignored Highway 99 this morning. Meanwhile, I was stuck in an inexplicable 30 mile-per-hour traffic crawl from Laguna Blvd. to Florin. When I got to Florin after 45 minutes, traffic began moving again.

Wouldn’t you know it? Just as I got to Florin, the traffic dude on the radio reported that a truck had “just” overturned on Florin and that traffic was now starting to back up.

But, there was nothing at Florin when I got there. The accident had already been cleared, and the traffic reporters had probably missed this accident by almost an hour.

Why do you mess with me, trafficreporterperson? What joy do you get in making The Grovites late for work?

This is all some kind of conspiracy, isn’t it – to keep the south side (did I mention that youandIknowitsthebestside?) down. I’m going to just tune in to smooth jazz from now on.

I don’t need your mind control.

Your Gas is My Gain

A recent telephone call to my house…

“Hello?”

“Hello sir. We’re conducting a telephone survey and would appreciate a few minutes of your time. In order to show our thanks for helping us, we will award you with a free $25 gas coupon on completion of the survey.”

“Oh, wow. Sure.”

“Thank you, sir. First of all, which financial institutions do you bank with: Bank of America, Wells Fargo, Washington Mutual…”

“I bank with several of them.”

“Which ones?”

“The second one.”

“Do you have a credit card with this bank?”

“Who are you doing this survey for?”

Click!

Beware of this telephone scam where someone dangles a carrot to get your personal banking information. Inform all members of your family too, and if you’ve given any info, contact your bank.