Sacto-wood. Hollytomato. La-La-Riviera Land?

How cool!

Hooks and Taylor Entertainment operation is now shooting a horror movie, in the Delta town of Hood, of all places…. Taylor and company have transformed a former pear canning plant into a top-flight sound stage. Sets throughout the building represent a mansion living room, a bedroom, a kitchen.

Granted, the movie sounds pretty errrgh, but I’m still rather inexplicably stoked about this. Part of it probably is that I loves me some Delta, with the mandatory CCR on the radio, criss-crossing the drawbridges and stopping for soda pop at a roadside market. I am not optimistic that Sacto will become the new Hollywood, but am I gonna want to rent this movie more because it’s homegrown than I would if it were just mixed in with the other horror movies at my local Hollywood video? Okay, probably not. But hey, kudos to local artists!

You Go J’Beily!

You heard it here first…

Center High School head football coach Digol J’Beily got his job back Friday morning following a month of turmoil at the Antelope school. (Sac Bee)

Let’s all congratulate ourselves on raising enough muck with our one post with one comment, read by about 60 people, that actions were taken! First you get the highschool coaches reinstated, then you get the money, then you get the weeemen.

One last point about this story… As far as I can tell, the only thing that Center High is near the center of is a straight line drawn between Lake Tahoe and Lake Hennessey in Sonoma County. But that doesn’t help anybody.

Land Park Icon Slandered

From Walt Wiley in today’s Bee:

“Cinderella Man,” that boxing movie receiving all the talk now, is not at all kind to Land Park’s own Max Baer, who ends up looking like a dandified thug in the movie….Max Baer Jr., who grew up in Land Park and went on to fame as “Jethro” on television’s “The Beverly Hillbillies,” has been quoted as being irate over his dad’s portrayal in the movie directed by Ron Howard, who was “Opie” on “The Andy Griffith Show.”

Ha! Take that, Oscar winner Ron Howard–in Land Park you’re still just Opie. Not even Richie!

I think it’s interesting that in taking on another historical character with Russell Crowe, A Beautiful Mind, he glossed over the subject’s rabid anti-Semitism. You heard it first on The Sac Rag–Ron Howard is a dirty player and he is gay for Russell Crowe!

Sacramento’s Mean Streets

As if you didn’t know.

A recent study by Allstate Insurance of their auto claims has come to the conclusion that Sacramento drivers are among the nation’s worst. If you live here (yes yes, “you’ll know…”), you can expect to be involved in an auto collision once every 7.7 years.

Worry not, incompetent ones! The good news is we’re 170th out of 191! Deal with that, the rest of you suckier 21!!

The good news for me? I was rear-ended within my first three months of moving here. This means I have 7.45 years of collision-FREE driving ahead!

Lodi Terrorist Questions

From the Sac Bee (reg required): 3 hearings set amid Lodi terror probe

Another father and son, Umer Hayat, 47, and Hamid Hayat, 22, both U.S. citizens, have been arrested on charges of lying to federal investigators about the son’s alleged activities in an al-Qaida training camp in Pakistan.

First of all, I’m very sorry I ever thought that Martha Stewart got a raw deal for the sole crime of lying to federal investigators. Now I think she needs to be back in the system. Let’s get her in the pokey again, see if she’s ever been to Pakistan.

Second, what kind of plausible lie is there about your activities in an al Qaida training camp? “Yes, I was there, but strictly in craft services. I mean, I was in the room when they were doing the monkey bars and shooting at effigies of the President, but I was heating up a tray of short ribs at the time.”

Heritage Festival Comes Downtown

The Sac Rag extends a hearty thumbs up to the Sacramento Heritage Festival for bring it all back home to Downtown last weekend. After puttering around the burbs, the SHF found itself perfectly at home at River Walk Park in West Sac in the shadow of the ziggurat. Pedestrians, cyclists and shuttle-goers left their cars and cares at home and boogied the weekend away. Congrats and let’s keep the same locale for years to come!

Little Winged Migration

You can’t help but notice the tiny orange and black butterflies zooming around town.

No, this is not normal.

This year, Sacramento is a way station in the largest ever migration of the Painted lady butterfly (Vanessa cardui). After a winter in Southern California, billions of butterflies are making their way to British Colombia for the summer. The migration only occurs once every decade or so, possibly in concurrence with El Niño years.

My theory, while not widely accepted by the scientific community, indicates the return of Motley Crue.

Drop Your Brain at the Principal’s Desk

Take your best guess. Is the following the work of a) the California State Assembly or b) the Evil Network of Hooded Skeletal Overlords:

Lawmakers voted Thursday to ban school districts from purchasing textbooks longer than 200 pages.

The bill, believed to be the first of its kind nationwide, was hailed by supporters as a way to revolutionize education.

Surprise, that bit of soul-killing genius was brought to us by the good folks at the Assembly right here in California. And thank God, too, because I would never want my daughters to have to read a book as long as The Secret Garden or The Trumpet of the Swan or any of the textbooks I have ever encountered in my entire life.

Good Old Edgy News10

Leave it to the crack reporting team at News10 to follow one of the coolest, craziest nights of TV with a lame “news” piece about one of my least favorite Sacramento “news” topics: the Maloof brothers.

If you happen to live under the docks or were watching American Idol last night, the season finales of Lost and Alias did not kick your ass last night like they did mine (Lost moreso, but the last 15 seconds of Alias were worth watching the entire mostly disappointing season). So how does News10 follow up that ass-whoopin’?

<paraphrase>You’re probably asking yourself, What’s up with the Maloofs, we haven’t heard from them since their team sucked ass again in the playoffs! Well, since they weren’t busting down our door for an interview like most sports franchise owners, we decided to track them down for an interview in…of all places…Las Vegas!</paraphrase>

“This just in: the piling on of ridiculous amounts of wealth from shady enterprises has a local angle!” Ugh. What are we gonna do, not bow at their altar just because the season is over? If Sacramento stops sucking at the greasy, gin-soaked teat of the Maloof Family Cultural Enslavement and Money Gathering Machine, it won’t be soon enough.

Being Sacramentan

CoolDMZ and I have been working on a theory for quite some time. Well, maybe not so much a theory, but a collection of observations and “I know what you mean” type moments about Sacramento. Like things we notice in our day to day lives that you just don’t find in, say, San Francisco, or Los Angeles, or Dixon. If this were a TV show it would be called “Only in Sacramento.” You feeling me yet?

For example, when The Cheesecake Factory opened not too long ago at the Arden Mall the wait was 2 hours! This was every day for weeks. Is it good?, sure, but come on people, there’s an Applebee’s, Chili’s, and CPK within a mile from there. What’s the difference? What are people thinking? It’s fast food with a tip. This is a child of the early 90’s In & Out craze whereby folks felt closer to the swinging Los Angeles scene if they waited for 45 minutes in the drive through in Tracy for a double double with cheese, but I digress.

Another example, I was on the treadmill at my gym the other day and I noticed a car pull up and sort peek around the lot. I could see 3 women of larger carriage inside. What were they doing? There are plenty of spaces a few rows over. Then I saw the blinker turn on and I couldn’t believe my eyes. They were waiting for someone to leave who had a great spot right up front. It’s the gym, ugh.

Well, I must sign off. Consider yourself up to speed when The Sac Rag references this behavior (oooh, we can use “BS” for short). I do feel better getting this off my chest though.