Sorry, wrong number

One of the first things I learned when moving into my house in ’97 was that my phone number confused a lot of people — namely, people trying to call the auto parts store and drug treatment clinic/halfway house, both of which are one digit off of my number and yield no fewer than three wrong number calls per week. You’d think that with my answering “HELLO” and not “Hello, Cheezer’s Pizza!” or the name of some other business, that they’d clue in that they’d called a private residence.

With the house on the market, I answer all calls since it might be a realtor calling to show the house. Yesterday, the Caller ID showed a 415 area code calling, so I picked it up. A woman said she was moving to the Sacramento area from the Bay Area (“This is going well so far,” I’m thinking), and she needs to make an appointment. I said, “OK, when do you want to come over?” She told me she needed to get set up on her regular schedule. “Regular schedule?” I asked, especially confused since she woke me up from a nap that had me in deep REM mode.
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Airing My Dirty Laundry

So, I got pissed off at my dry cleaner that I’d been going to for the last 5 years and decided it was time for a change. I tried out 5 different cleaners around my house and would love to share the results with you. If you live in the greater one square block area around Loehman’s Plaza, this may prove useful to you, otherwise, feel free to ignore.
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Now, it computes

Anyone notice that all of a sudden there are a lot of TV ads for UC Davis Health System – the ones where these physician-type people are cycling, rowing and going about their daily business in their lab coats, and looking very physiciany?

I couldn’t figure it out because I’ve never seen anyone out in the city dressed up like a physician going for a jog. But then it made sense…

I believe that the “physicians” in the commercials are not real physicians, at least in the human sense. They are, in fact, physician androids designed and constructed by the health system for the sole purpose to practice medicine. I call them “physiciadroids”.

What’s my proof? The narrator in the commercials is none other than Brent Spiner – aka LT. COMMANDER DATA of the STARSHIP ENTERPRISE (1701-D). If that doesn’t give this whole thing away, I don’t know what would.

How to plan a snark-free wedding

When my beloved popped the question on Christmas Eve this past holiday season, both of us knew we wanted to get married soon. (Why wait? It’s the classic “When Harry Met Sally” line of “When you know you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start right now” feeling.)

Both of us have gone to countless weddings over the years, have heard horror stories of Bridezillas and relatives getting carried away with the planning process, and with both of us leading busy lives, we wanted to keep things patently simple.

Here are a few things we did that kept things stress-free and allowed us, our families, and our friends to have a relaxing and enjoyable wedding weekend. Continue reading “How to plan a snark-free wedding”

Walk towards the light

One of my proudest moments as a Sac Rag contributor was realized last week. And I had nothing to do with it.

RonTopofIt reported a couple of months ago on a failed pedestrian light in midtown that was causing all kinds of ruckus – mostly to said TopofIt and myself. Despite the pleasant experience in reporting this problem to the City, after several weeks, we were wondering if they’d ever fix this light.

Last week, and two months later, they finally fixed it. A beacon to pedestrians walking on L Street, this walk signal shines brighter than ever. Thanks City of Sacramento, for finally fixing and restoring some order back into our lives.

Family Dining: Michelangelo’s

Mrs. CoolDMZ and I are inventive and skilled chefs, which mitigates the fact that as a family of 4 we don’t eat out terribly often. Our forays as a family into the local dining scene could probably benefit other family units who are considering eating out and don’t want to waste the trip. First up, midtown darling Michelangelo’s on 17th and I.

At first glance, Michelangelo’s doesn’t seem like the kind of place that little kids would enjoy or be enjoyed at–it’s small, the tables are close together, and its clientele enjoys fine dining at the kind of out-of-the-way restaurant that features a handwritten nightly specials sign and a wine list. However, the clientele is also the midtown laid back crowd, so a few kids enjoying a meal in a funky restaurant is more likely than not to be mild entertainment.
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Today Streets of London, tomorrow the world

CoolDMZ makes headlines again… If any readers were participants in last night’s Streets of London Sunday night pub trivia contest, I hope you enjoyed getting schooled in ridiculous fashion by CoolDMZ and his siblings and parents, hereinafter the “CoolDMZ Good-time Family Trivia Band.” Our group–my parents, my brother and sister and her fiancee, with the collective power of our above average IQs and specialized tools like my brother with the rock trivia knowledge and my mom with the… remembering of stuff that happened before 2003 (Haille Selassie!!!) got 25 out of 30 and the tiebreaker, taking the house for all it was worth, which was 2 British-themed dinners to be consumed at a later date.
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How do you pick your favorite watering hole?

Got together with some pals for post-work drinks at Bandera. While it had been about a year since I had last clinked glasses there, it seemed pretty much the same. The big rectangular bar is ideal for people watching. Or flirting. Not so great for finding a seat when it’s crowded, but that makes customer interaction all the more likely.

I asked the bartender who she thought made up Bandera’s clientele. She told me an interesting tale:

Several years ago it was the college crowd who monopolized the bar/restaurant, which wasn’t the demographic Bandera was going for. So, they started to close the bar at early, to discourage the late night/early morning, age-21-ish crowds. They also started requiring entree orders to sit at the tables – including the ones in the bar area (and they still do that) to get rid of hanging-outters in favor of actual restaurant patrons.
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Right Awn! Friday: The lion, the assemblyman, and the lawdrobe

rightawn.jpg

Here we go, it’s Right Awn! Friday time!

As many of you are well aware, we like to take this time every week to paws – I mean, pause – and give recognition to someone who may be going the extra mile to make a contribution to society, or just do something worth some kudos.

Rarely do we feel inclined to give a shout out to someone in government. Why? Well first, they aren’t quite the little guy. And second, they rarely do anything for which you write awn about.

But this week? Right Awn! boldly goes where Right Awn! has not gone before…
Continue reading “Right Awn! Friday: The lion, the assemblyman, and the lawdrobe”