One squirrel says to the other squirrel

Here’s the second installment of my five part story on squirrels. Watch out Lisa Ling, I’m coming to getcha!

The cbs13.com reports that Redding firefighters are blaming a flaming squirrel for a grass fire that briefly threatened a home.

Firefighters say the squirrel set off the blaze yesterday when it shorted out a power line, caught fire and dropped into dry vegetation. It took eighteen firefighters and six fire engines 20 minutes to battle the one squirrel blaze.

One squirrel blaze! Badda bing! And the squirrel stock photo they used…very rich. If I didn’t know better I would suggest that cbs13.com is making with the jokes.

UPDATE: News10.net hasn’t thrown their fun hat into the ring with a, er, nutty squirrel photo.

People Helping People

Who else gets mistaken for employees in retail establishments or is frequently asked by fellow patrons for assistance?

I know not to wear red garments when going to Target, and anyone who wore a blue chambray shirt and khakis in the ’90s* could have been mistaken for a Blockbuster employee.

Tonight at Longs, I helped a young girl pick out just the right microwave popcorn and a woman select a glittery hair clip for a friend’s 11-year-old daughter’s birthday. I was approached by each of these people — maybe they admired my taste in diet soda (all Coca Cola products are five 12-packs for $12, plus CRV; no coupon required) and laundry detergent, so they trusted my judgment to make consumer decisions for them. I truly felt like a Maven in Malcolm Gladwell’s eyes.

Does this happen to anyone else on a regular basis?

*Note the proper position of the apostrophe. The apostrophe indicates where I left off something that was already there, namely “19.” The incorrect way would have been to write it as “90’s.” For more information please refer to Grammar Girl’s guide to dates. As you were.

“Next” Sunday vs. “This” Sunday

In my previous post, I noted “next” Sunday as the one that will fall on March 16.

To me, the Sunday that will fall on March 9 is “this coming Sunday.” The one that was on March 2 was “this past Sunday.”

The whole “this” vs. “next” thing was possibly the biggest argument between my parents when I was growing up (other than the whole exchange of “Hold the tree straight!” “I AM holding the tree straight” when trying to put the Christmas tree in its stand.)

What say you on the whole “next” vs. “this” when referencing upcoming dates or days gone by?

Raze the roof

The building formerly known as Carlos Murphy’s/Bleachers/Asian Buffet/European Buffet Featuring Sushi and Waffles is now gone.

I noticed that it had been knocked down last week, and in its place is a pile of rubble surrounded by a chain link fence.

This is the place that was across from Cal Expo and across from the relatively new (though still with as asinine of a parking lot as the older locations) Kaiser building.

Just thought you should know, and I hope this isn’t where Radio Matthew was planning on going for his 21st birthday.

Nice goes all wrong at TJs

Being niceThese days when I visit the East Sac Trader Joe’s–which no matter how crowded it is, always seems to have a staff to patron ratio of about 1:1–I notice that the cashiers are very friendly. Like, serial killer friendly. I assume this is company policy. Saturday night, after a long tiring day of yard projects and kid-wrangling, I was asked by the young cashier whether I had any plans. Nothing much, I said, just going to watch a movie with the wife. “Oh really? What movie do you have?” At this point I was too tired to think of way to avoid telling him what movie, and then since it was an obscure low-budget science fiction flick (“Primer“–which by the way was kinda interesting, and at 68 minutes is worth your time, but your wife will haaate it.), I found myself having to give him a plot summary and genre explanation of this movie which I had not seen. Too bad I hadn’t just rented “Caddyshack” or something…

This is not the first such encounter. Continue reading “Nice goes all wrong at TJs”