Author: RonTopofIt

RonTopofIt is a complex personality, as are most of the small breed of modern day renaissance millionaires. He wishes more people were like him and yet believes that it takes all kinds. You've met RonTopofIt many times, you just don't remember him.

Ha ha, you’re going to jail

I was reading this story today about how the new freeway message boards encouraging drivers to call 911 if they suspect someone is driving under the influence were very effective this holiday season and couldn’t help but wonder.

Has anyone ever called 911 to report a suspected drunk driver? Is it an easy process? If so, I have to think this can really get out of hand in a jif. Get cut off this morning on the W-X? Fix their wagon by dropping the 9-1-1 on their ass! Have a buddy that is always one-upping you? Here’s a way you can have the last word. What about the night club scene? I can see it now. A dude sees a gal that he is really sweet on. He walks over to buy her a drink but is intercepted at the last minute by a larger, buffer dude who closes the deal. They take off together and dude decides to let his fingers do the walking.

But seriously, folks, what’s the deal with this program? If anyone knows the 4-1-1 on the 9-1-1 feel free to drop a comment and get the word out.

“So much for world peace” or “Who wants to talk Project Runway?”

This was the punchline delivered by one of the news anchors on the Good Morning Today it’s Early show yesterday after running a story about, ahem, current Miss USA Tara Conner. Of course, no one got it and he had to explain that she’s being scrutinized for her underage drinking, drug use, and same sex lip locking (not that there’s anything wrong with that! well, she was Miss Teen USA, but she was 18! we think, not sure if she was at the time, but let’s not split hairs here) and that typically that’s the answer contestants give when asked…just as I will do now, he let it go and moved on…but I laughed, talking head, dude, I laughed!

Today, cbs13.com ran a story (lucky for me as I’ve been itching to rant on the subject and needed the “local angle” to pitch to my editor at headquarters) about a local beauty queen’s reaction to Donald Trump’s decision to let Miss USA keep her title as long as she agreed to enter rehab. Continue reading ““So much for world peace” or “Who wants to talk Project Runway?””

Yo mamma walks into a bar

News10.com reports that a local elementary school principal has banned the telling of “yo mamma” jokes on campus.

We see good kids just sitting there going back and forth with each other and I’m like what are you doing? Oh, we saw it on TV and were just doing ‘Yo Momma’ jokes, don’t worry about it.

And he was like, “what are you doing?” and they were like, “nothing, just telling jokes” and he was like “oh, no you’re not” and they were like…

When the kids get in trouble, when the kids get in fights and the cyber-bullying starts and they tell me specifically that they were doing ‘yo momma’ jokes, then yes it changes their behavior…

Cyber-bullying? At any rate, I’m not sure what to think of this. Will a ban on certain types of jokes really control behavior? I can just see this spawning a new line of jokes whereby the kids find a loophole in the rules and get there digs in. Maybe something like “Yo Daddy” or “Yo Cousin”.

Yo cousin so stupid it takes her two hours to watch 60 minutes

Doesn’t quite have the ring to it, I know, but stick with it kids, it’ll catch on.

This reminds me…I’ve been meaning to bring back, “that’s what she said”. Who is with me?

Fun with slideshows

(Yes, we’re having a slow day at the Sac Rag offices, so sue us!)

Ever notice how KCRA.com offers up slideshows on their site?  While they are usually your standard “Caught on Tape” wackiness, from time to time I find a few that are funny.  Mainly because they are not really explained or introduced.  They just jump right into their topic.  For example, I noticed two “Most Annoying” slideshows today.  The first was “The Most Annoying Songs of All Time” and the second was “The Most Annoying Celebrities of All Time“.

While we can all agree on Carrot Top, I’m not sure Don Johnson really fits.  And Nathan Lane?

But, be careful.  I still can’t get that darned “Mmmm Bop” song out of my head now…

More fun from Craigslist

Folks trying to sell their PS3s on Craigslist better take note. Cbs13.com reports that a seller was beaten and robbed while trying to meet the buyer of his Playstation at a local gas station Tuesday.

And to think, I was worried about handing out my email address.

The news station recommends meeting buyers of goods sold on the popular online classifieds site at your local police station parking lot. That’s right. The next time you sell a good for a few thousand dollars online and need to meet the buyer to make the under the table, most likely unreported cash transaction, be sure to do it somewhere where your tax dollars will ensure your safety.

ABA fever coming to town

The Sacramento Business Journal reports that the Fresno Heatwave of the American Basketball Association is relocating to Sacramento “for its basketball enthusiasts.”

The two leagues (NBA & ABA) are as different as McDonald’s and Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse, he added. But former NBA players are coaches, owners and players within the ABA. Former NBA star Dennis Rodman plays for the Hollywood Fame, which Sacramento goes up against Dec. 4 at home.

Interesting simile. Let’s see, both leagues use a ball, a hoop, with 5 players playing against 5 players trying to score more points than the other…

Tickets cost $10 to $12. The ABA markets itself to the urban and Hispanic market, Newman said. The league expects to have 75 teams next season.

Is “urban” now an ethnic category? What’s going on here? Do the Kings market themselves to the suburban market? Or the foothill market?

‘Tis the season

It just wouldn’t be the holidays without a heaping helping of disheartening crime in Sacramento. While PS3 mayhem is so last week, never fear as we’ve had our first Salvation Army robbery.

Sacramento police are still looking for a group of teens who robbed a Salvation Army bell ringer at knife point during the noon hour Friday outside a grocery store.

That’s noon, people, as in post meridiem. I think that is what is really shocking about crime these days. There really is no safe time to be out and about…however, Continue reading “‘Tis the season”

Video game lovers can’t wait

News10.net reports that the Sacramento Best Buy store has asked folks to leave who are camping out hoping to get their hands on the new Sony Playstation which goes on sale Friday (I know, today is only Wednesday, crazy, huh?).

The property owners forced the campers to move out. But all is not lost. Best Buy did take the names of everyone in line and gave them a number so when the PS3 goes on sale Friday they won’t lose their spot.

While this may sound like a great idea at first, I can’t help but wonder if this will only create a mad rush to “pre” camp out the next time some fancy electronic gizmo is released with the hope of grabbing a number so they can jump to the front of the line once the product is available. However, this apparently is one fancy gadget:

“It’s pretty much like the ultimate game machine — 60 gigabyte hard drive. And blue-ray players so it plays all your high definition movies. And then all your games are at the highest resolution…”

It’s pretty much like? Gee, why didn’t you say something earlier, let’s get out there then.

Transit Tales Redux

The Sacramento News and Review is running a cover story this week about “life that exists every day on Sacramento’s buses and trains”.  Sound familiar?  It should if you’re a frequent visitor to this here web log.  Sac Rag authors/commenters CoolDMZ and HeyMeg have been posting and commenting about their daily observations on the RT for quite some time.  While SNR did a fine job with their piece, it just doesn’t compare to HeyMeg’s recounting of the discussion between “Eye Patch” and “No Teeth”.

Craigslist for dummies

I need some advice. I used craigslist.com this weekend to clear out some old boxes and miscellaneous garage items that I didn’t want to haul to the dump. Plus, the idea of recycling these items made sense. I only listed things that I wanted to give away. The sign up was easy enough and the service is free. However, once folks began replying to my posts I ran into a bit of trouble. What do you do about folks that say they want your stuff but then never show up or email back with specifics. Help me out here. I tried following the first come first serve method, but I had folks that said they’d be by my house in a few hours and then never showed up. Meanwhile I received several more emails asking about the items. What do I tell these guys? Has anyone found a method that works for dilemmas such as this? I feel weird about giving out my physical address, too. Do you find a common meeting place to make the hand off?  Talk to me, Sacramento.