Not creepy at all!

Creative Commons License photo credit: Kingfox

An enterprising and holiday-spirited local person wants your childs (sic) name and address, for holiday purposes of course:

So here is how this will work send me two dollars per letter you want sent out (per kid) cash or money order (Just because of the stamps and paper).
Also include the childs name what letter you want sent out and the information you want in the letter. Childs name(s)

I think you might also want to send a recent photo of your child. For Santa.

California has a garage

Jimmy Kimmel Live did a funny bit about the “Great California Garage Sale” coming soon to a broke state near you.

“This is a win-win for the state and for shoppers,” Schwarzenegger said in a statement Tuesday announcing that a selection of items also would be sold on eBay and Craigslist. “Together we are eliminating waste and providing great deals in this tough economy.”

Wow. Big Scary Knives.

Can we leave negative feedback? What would yours be? Apparently their eBay approach is raising some eyebrows.

UPDATE: Items are going fast after day one.. Final sales are over 1.5 million.

Craigslist literary award of the day

I guess the reason I don’t troll for hilarious Craigslist ads more often is that the only thing I frequently purchase that is not dinner, or cannot be made into dinner or another meal, is socks. Though I’m sure you can score some sweet socks on the CL. But I dig them fresh. Anyway, I find myself in the market for an antique typewriter and came across this ad:

For sale is an antique and/or vintage Royal typewriter.

It’s in good cosmetic condition. It types, though the carriage is loose and the ribbon is a bit dry. But you’re not likely to buy this to type with, unless maybe you need to do a ransom note and don’t want to mess with that tedious letter-cut-out-of-magazines thing. But that’s none of my business, so let’s forget I brought it up. Or maybe you’re going to go steampunk with it, which, again, is none of my business, so we can forget I brought that up, too. Dork.

As Seen on Craigslist

As I was perusing Craigslist for some concrete work that I need done on my house (please let me know if you’ve got a guy that knows a guy), I came across this delightful advertisement.  Despite reading it 5 times, I still have no idea what it’s for.  Word for word, here it is:

Females Looking for Yard/Irrigation Repairs For You: – $75 (Sacramento/Placer So Co)

Reply to:
Date: 2008-05-09, 3:27PM PDT

You have tried meny Contractors Refuse to come to Your Small Yards:
Small leaks one Sprinkler Head,Pipes,need Low-Voltage Lights for your Walkway,
Bark Yard Spa, Pool,Check-Out that Time Clock,Pruning Shrubs Over Grown weeds
Clean-up new Bark,Rock Redo. Then haul to Dump max 1-Load. House,Duplexs,Rental or Own it.
Just like to Really Barter Your Services as a Lic. [CMT] Massage Tec for
this trained person Labor hour for hour work Back Massage,Deep Pressure,Tissue,Rock,Swedish Rock Style Therapeutic or Total[FSBM] Yes:
Sorry materials non-negotable and cost of dump fees or excess Materials
Bark,Sod,Rock work or any possible 2,000 sq.Ft hydroseeding work:
Not interested in any Equal Value Trading for P/C work,Add promotion work,T-shirts,hats etc. Only-Females Barters for [CMT] Massage Work performed with-in
24-48 hrs after Labor work performed for You in Landscape,Irrigation Repairs:
***No Visa or M/C accepted for any other work performed only cash or checks
Work that exceed upto $300.00-$2,500.00 value: Call Monday-Saturday 7:30 A.M.
-6:00 P.M. Daily for Serious Callers at [916] 402-5783: Yes I do make Special
appointments as needed for estimates on Sundays Only: All estimates are Written in clear English for all Barter work also. 11 Years in Greater Sacramento County Area: If line Busy you can either email or call Direct Voicemail [916] 553-9806: Leave messages with name,phone no. for quick return calls: Note; emails please add your address with your return phone No.
Thank You:

As best as I can figure it, I can either: 1) Get a massage in exchange for landscaping; 2) Get landscaping in exchange for a massage; or 3) Get sprinklers repaired, a retaining wall built, and a hot-rock massage all by the same company.

Note delicious irony that “All Estimates are Written in clear English.”

Any other interpretations out there?

This is The Sac Rag’s 1500th post. –CoolDMZ

Mr. Tim Hearts Math

Okay, I’m amused and annoyed at the same time. Current local ad for a bike on today’s Craigslist:

My current mode of transportation is my bike. I have finally decided to part ways with my bike. One, I am hoping with the money that I get, I can purchase a calculator that will compute partial derivatives and other such computations as required for the completion of my vector analysis course. Two, I know none of these calculators exist. Three, I do not expect you to know this, and that you will be tricked to giving me money.

Continue reading “Mr. Tim Hearts Math”