Category: Misc

Ho’s on the Light Rail

There hasn’t been much news on the Light Rail beat – just the usuall guys smoking huge fatties right in front of the police, etc. – but last night I witnessed a totally rad fight. A middle-aged business woman was getting on the train while a teeny-bopper Hallaback girl was getting off. They bumped into each other in the aisle. This prompted said Hallaback girl to go OFF, yo. She started screaming immediately (and now I will curse in the manner of Buster from Arrested Development) “F YOU, YOU B” to which the other woman simply and elegantly flipped the bird. The girl had to get off the train – it was her stop after all – but she continued yelling through the open doors, “I F-ed YOUR HUSBAND LAST NIGHT, B, AND HE PAID ME FOR IT TOO, HO!” This was repeated numerous times, louder and louder. I spent the next three stops trying to solve the riddle of whether being paid to have sex with someone’s husband wouldn’t in fact make you the “ho.” Light rail is SO much better than driving.

This one’s for all the parents

If you live or work in midtown, around the [ahem] Sutter General Hospital, you have undoubtedbly seen what my three year old daughter calls the “Mommy Bus,” the blue shuttle that makes a stop near the corner of the hospital and is emblazoned with a marketing image of a mom and baby.

Yesterday my daughter saw two of them, and here was her reaction, verbatim:

Two of them? They’re gonna fight, that’s what Daddy would say.

She knows me so well. That is exactly what I would say. But so far it hasn’t happened.

Partay?

Let’s hear from the people–where was the place to be on New Years’ Eve 2005? In my house, the place to be was the couch, where the main attraction was a good chunk of “Arrested Development” Season 2. I’m aware that there may have been other things going on outside my house, but did any of the town’s hottest parties have spicy club sauce? Well, probably.

Keyword fun

I just noticed somebody ran across The Sac Rag searching for the phrase “Eileen Javora boobs.” And just in case, they turned the “safe filter” off. Nice try, sicko, this is a family site. And in that regard, if Squirty Tip is in your family, we extend our best wishes.

The water, she is rising

That SMiller guest post at Heckasac got me going like a three-chord Nar song. But I’m kickin it family style in the 820, so all I want to do is open a forum for discussion of the craziest local spots to watch the rivers rising. I nominate the Northgate offramp on 160, which, if you notice on your way back to midtown from returning that sweater at Sears, is almost completely covered.

On the road

I recently returned from a vacation to Southern California. There are many annoying things about SoCal (starting with that overused term, but we NorCal’rs are just as guilty) but there was one thing that really sent me over the top and made me miss good ole Sacramento; the local news.

For example, have a look see at the news team over at abc7.com. Seriously, are these broadcasters or the current cast of the Bold and the Beautiful. And the weather people? Put on your darkest oversized sunglasses and check out Dallas Raines. Haven’t seen teeth like that since that episode of Friends when Ross had the blacklight going, huh? Oh, and wait til you hear him speak. Mark Finan, take me away!

The first thing I did upon returning to the 916 was flip on channel 3. Edie and John welcomed me back and caught me up to speed on the flooding situation and shared a wonderful of story of a rescued cat. Not once did Edie or John mention themselves or make some snide personal comment.

Appreciate what you have, Sacramento. Sure this city has it’s share of faults (as noted here daily,) but, overall, I loves me some Sacramento and am glad to be back.

P.S. Props to SinghCity for minding the store while most of us were out of town. Looks like the folks over at heckasac took notice, too.

What traffic reporters don’t tell you

I’ve long lamented the fact that traffic reports/reporters in this city are almost useless to the regular driver. They don’t help you much really, when you’re already stuck in traffic. They’ll tell you you’re stuck, which you know, but don’t tell you how to get out of it, which you’d like to know. Sometimes, you just gotta learn on your own.

Recently, I found a bit of a “shortcut” – I use quotes because the route is actually a longer way around distance-wise, but it takes less time to travel during rush hour. The culprit that I try to avoid? The I-5 South connection off eastbound 50 coming from West Sacramento.

This is one spot that typically jams up, as the one lane branching off 50 East to I-5 South clogs up. What’s worse, many people won’t let you merge once the traffic comes to a standstill. If you ever find yourself in this scenario, try this solution:
Continue reading “What traffic reporters don’t tell you”

I fought the law…

You’ll remember from a few months ago, this little controversy:

Because California law prohibits punishing police officers over the number of citations issued, Fairfield Police Chief Bill Gresham has denied the department uses any ticket quotas. John White, who retired as a sergeant four years ago, disputes this claim saying that those who didn’t issue enough tickets were labeled “red” and punished while those who wrote a large number of tickets were labeled “green” and rewarded. The city of 100,000 earns $494,000 from traffic fines and $62,000 from parking tickets each year.

There may be something to this, Sacramento. Let me tell you my story…
Continue reading “I fought the law…”