The Sac Rag

When one thinks of “Mediterranean Cuisine,” one thinks of Italy, Greece, Morocco, or even Spain.  One rarely thinks of Lebanon.  But one should.  Instead, one usually has questions about this foreign cuisine.  Those questions are probably “What kind of food is it,” or “how much does it cost,” or “do I need to bring my epi-pen?”  Unfortunately, these are the wrong questions.  To steer one down the right path I have conveniently included the correct questions one should ask along with the appropriate answers from a recent visit to Maalouf’s Taste of Lebanon by Mrs. Eats and me. 

Can we say “delicious gut bomb”?  Of course we can.  Can we still taste last week’s schwarma?  Of course we can.  Can we still smell the food on our clothes?  Of course we can.  Will we go back?  Of course we will.

This is not a meal to be taken lightly–richly marinated meats, thick dips and sauces, plates the size of dried lake beds.  Almost nothing at Maalouf’s is “lite,” but everything is pretty damn good.  

Here’s a quick list of things that you are advised not to attempt after a meal at Maalouf’s: running, biking, swimming, walking, climbing, moving, sitting, speaking, thinking.
Things that you are advised to do after eating at Maalouf’s: horizontally lounging.

Maalouf’s Taste of Lebanon- 1433 Fulton Ave,  Sacramento

Food***1/2 Service*** Atmosphere*

Thanks to the urging of FOTR (Friends of the ‘Rag) CSI Sacramento and Carl, I had to go back and try Texas West BBQ on Fulton Ave.  You see, I truly appreciate our valued readers and commenters for calling us to task when we fail to exceed their expectations, for going beyond the story and getting into the human angle of those things about which we write, for disagreeing with my taste in barbecue quality and urging me to reconsider my hasty judgment of a Sacramento-area institution.  The institution about which I speak, of course, is Texas West BBQ, which has one thing in common with another fine Sacramento-area institution, Folsom Prison, and that thing is food quality.

Yet again, I have let someone talk me into going back to this swill-trough of an establishment and have been sorely disappointed.  Today’s lunch, pulled pork sandwich and french fries (by the way, I refuse to capitalize the “french” in “french fries,” I’m not sure I can really explain why I’ve chosen to take a stand now, but I have), was a miserable failure as far as lunches go.  Let’s start with the pork.  The pork was pulled, I’ll give ’em that; pulled off of what though, I have no idea.  That meat was dry, I mean really dry, drier than sands outside of Barstow during a drought when a kitty litter truck, a silica gel transporter and a mass migration of super absorbent sponges all collided and sucked every last bit of moisture out of the land.  Then there were the fries which had that stupid coating on them that Burger King started putting on their fries about 10 years ago, right at the time when they became totally irrelevant–coincidence?  Finally their BBQ sauce, which was sweet, yet spicy without being weighted down by any of that pesky stuff called flavor.

Thank you, fine readers, for urging me to once again confirm my previous impressions that Texas West BBQ is, without a doubt, the worst barbecue joint to be voted “Best Barbecue” in all of the land.