Entertainment Classification

The Sky Bar, never high on anyone’s list of entertainment destinations, has been labeling itself as “Sacramento’s Home to Jazz,” for quite a while. A quick peek at their website tells a different story, however. Proudly listed on their homepage is the music calendar for this week: Wed-Salsa, Thurs-DJ (top 40 & R&B), Fri-Salsa & 80’s, Sat-Live Salsa, Sun-Freestyle open mic. Wow, I am blown away at how they can pack their musical calendar with so much jazz. It’s really incredible. As long as you count Top 40, R&B and salsa as jazz, then the Sky Bar certainly is Sacramento’s “home to jazz.” Or maybe they’re just big fat liars.

Calling the Sky Bar the “Home to jazz” is like calling Pollock Pines “Chocolate City.” Nice try Sky Bar; if you’re going to change your music, go ahead and change your slogan.

Daytrippin’

According to the spot-on meteorologists at channel 10, the weather is getting cooler. Can’t you feel those chilly breezes in your bones? Does your breath steam in the air yet? Of course not, because weather people are morons and should be given approximately 30 seconds of the news broadcast to give a five day forecast and then shut their traps.

Nevertheless, the weather will, even according to Al Gore, eventually cool off, which makes it perfect weather for daytripping. If you’re tired of Apple Hill, El Dorado/Amador/Sea of Tranquility wine tasting or cities with UC campuses, then I’ve got an idea for you, CHICO! Yes, that’s right, CHICO! (from now on all CHICO! references will be capitalized and exclamation pointed)
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Grammar police at East Lawn

Last evening my daughters and I checked out the East Lawn Children’s Park, a small playground and grassy field on the corner of 42nd St. and Folsom Blvd. This has to be one of the coolest parks in the “micro” category–it’s only about the size of 2 residential lots, but it has a great older wooden jungle gym, a massive sandbox, a nice grassy area, and best of all it is completely shaded at 5:30 pm on a hot day.

My reason for posting though is the sign listing the various things that are prohibited in the park. Now I don’t usually participate in Grammar Policing–I think I just used “irony” in a questionable context just a few minutes ago–but when the results of bad usage are hilarious then I pay attention. I am too cheap to find a way to get the pictures from my camera phone off my camera, but this will be better if I type out what the sign says and make my snarky comments anyway.
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Joe Maloof drops railyard arena bomb

UPDATED 9/6/06 at 8:00 pm

To quote Conan O’Brien, you just can’t make this stuff up; you wouldn’t want to, it would waste everyone’s time.

Kings Owner Joe Maloof’s statement: “We share the vision that everyone here has. The future would be fantastic to have a new arena downtown to revitalize the railyards. But it isn’t going to be easy. The site has been vacant for decades because it’s such a difficult site to develop. There are a lot of moving parts: The railroad, the developer, the cleanup, and all the work the city and county have got to get done. We believe it can happen, we believe an arena can help make it happen, but we want to make sure the people are aware that we will do our best. If for some reason it can’t happen at this site, we may have to consider alternative locations in Sacramento.”

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Like You Need Another Sushi Recommendation

There’s this place on the corner of Alta Arden and Fulton. It’s been there for many years. You’ve passed it a dozen times in your life, to and from Arden Fair, or when your mom would drag you to Gemco. You remember Gemco, you in your corduroy jumper and bowl haircut trying to convince your mother that you really really needed that new He-Man with the spring loaded sword arm.
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You don’t have to take my word for it

My 3-year-old is waaay into “Reading Rainbow” so I’ve got that line, plus the little three-note jingle that accompanies it on the brain (remember?). Anyway, if you thought my shout-out about “The Full Monty” was merely a shameless plug for a buddy, you no longer have to place all your faith in CoolDMZ (on this topic, anyway): check out Jim Carnes’ 3-star rave in today’s Scene. Go Game Guy!

Good Days of Our Lives

It is always the children who are affected the most.

Good Day Sacramento has been in quite the transition this summer. First, it was the move of their set over to CBS13’s locale. Fortunately, the transition went off relatively smooth. One wonders however, the stress this put on Good Days’ own 40+ year old child, Mark S. Allen.

As the CoolOne brought to you some days ago, MSA was recently pulled over at the airport by the County cops, on the suspicion of being drunk. This morning, the “on-scene” reporter at the Cal Expo plant sale intimated that there were “special plants in the back” for MSA that the reporter could not identify on the air. Not to mention the fact that other Good Day personalities are exposing themselves in public…what’s going on over there? Are these desperate cries for help?

While it wouldn’t surprise anyone if MSA was in fact drunk or had some kind of problem with narcotics (perhaps he’s ODing on teeth bleach), could his turning to the bottle be a symptom of more than just a man in his 40s who still shops at Pacific Sunwear in a version of Peter Pan Syndrome?

I submit to you, dear reader, that there is something more going on.
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New (belated) Monday offering

I introduce to you a new Monday morning feature, the “Cooky Kaption Kontest” (because Kooky doesn’t work there, it just doesn’t have the right ring to it…) in which you do the fake write your own caption thing that you’ve seen a thousand times. But this time it’s on The Sac Rag and it’s local. Post your fake funny caption in the comments. We start with this photo from the Bee’s story on the dedication of the Mormon Temple:
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