Our hats off to you, Golden One

Good luck with Meadow, Turtle!
Better use the ATM.

You proposition 8 debaters should enjoy this one from CBS13.com.

All Golden One Banks in our area are enforcing a new dress code: no hats…”Typically, they have a hood pulled up, they have sunglasses on or they have a hat with a visor pulled down,” says Teresa Halleck, President and CEO of Golden One Credit Union.

“They” of course are the bad guys. And they have a uniform. Without this uniform their super powers are lost.

I kid the Golden One. However, pay close attention to the sign posted at the front of the bank. The forward and backward hat positions are included in this policy.

Craigslist literary award of the day

I guess the reason I don’t troll for hilarious Craigslist ads more often is that the only thing I frequently purchase that is not dinner, or cannot be made into dinner or another meal, is socks. Though I’m sure you can score some sweet socks on the CL. But I dig them fresh. Anyway, I find myself in the market for an antique typewriter and came across this ad:

For sale is an antique and/or vintage Royal typewriter.

It’s in good cosmetic condition. It types, though the carriage is loose and the ribbon is a bit dry. But you’re not likely to buy this to type with, unless maybe you need to do a ransom note and don’t want to mess with that tedious letter-cut-out-of-magazines thing. But that’s none of my business, so let’s forget I brought it up. Or maybe you’re going to go steampunk with it, which, again, is none of my business, so we can forget I brought that up, too. Dork.

The proposition 8 my homework

It’s NOT just us. We now have evidence that Sacto’s kids are, in fact, getting dumber. The Sacramento Business Journal reported earlier this week:

High school graduation rates are falling and fewer teens are meeting requirements to get into University of California and California State University schools in Sacramento County.

Those are among the many findings of the 2008 Sacramento County Children’s Report Card, according to a report to be presented Tuesday to the Sacramento County Board of Supervisors…

…Among its education findings, the group reports that the graduation rate among high school seniors decreased to 79.6 percent in 2006-07, from 85.1 percent in 2000-01.

The “group” in question is the Sacramento County Children’s Coalition, and they also reported on several other interesting damn lies statistics:

• High school drop outs earn an average of $21,346 a year, while graduates earn an average of $8,747 more.
• Those with a bachelor’s degree earn more than $21,000 annually more than people who have only a high school diploma.
• Spending per student in Sacramento County in 2005-06 was $7,324, compared to the state average of $8,486 and the national average of $9,138.

Who thinks this will get worse before it gets better? Perhaps it’s time to give education its rightful props on the voting ballot.

Sacramentan is America’s Third Top Model

St. Francis H.S. alum Analeigh Tipton finished third in the 11th cycle of America’s Next Top Model tonight, which I believe means that she wins the ceremonial title of Greater Midwest’s Next Top Model and takes the national throne if and when the other two are unable to serve out their terms.

I’m honestly surprised that she didn’t at least finish second, though she did totally blow it toward the end there. I just never thought Samantha would get that far, considering she looked like an Applebee’s server and couldn’t walk on the runway, which as job skills go is crucial when you’re a model. However I have a history of being terrible at calling these things.

Morton’s Ready to Open in New Digs

The folks at Morton’s were gracious and generous enough to invite me to a free preview lunch last week, and I was stupid and dull enough to find myself out of town on the day of the event.  Thankfully, a friend and local eating enthusiast Paul Somerhausen from Sacramento Epicureans took up the mantle and went in my place.  Here’s his report:

I was lucky enough to get to sample the new location of Morton’s Downtown. They are now located at the base of a new office building on the corners of 6th and Capitol, and it is a major improvement to the previous location. The old restaurant had the feel of an old Chicago mobsters hang out, and was about as easy to find. This new place is wide open, with big tall windows that leave plenty of light in. Also, the soft tones of wood, the huge temperature controlled wine room, and the big hanging lamps adorn this establishment and make it feel bright and welcoming.
Continue reading “Morton’s Ready to Open in New Digs”

A fire inside?

Today is Sacramento’s first “Stage 1 – No Burn” residential wood burning restriction. This means that “…burning is prohibited when air quality is forecast to be 36-40 micrograms per cubic meter unless EPA certified fireplace inserts or stoves, or pellet stoves are used. First time violations will result in a $50 fine or a requirement to attend compliance school, fines for subsequent violations will be higher.”

The funny thing about this policy is that the Spare The Air site states “Sacramento County Only” as the area affected by this law. But, when you scroll down a bit you find this detail:

    Check Before You Burn is in effect in Sacramento County and its cities: Citrus Heights, Elk Grove, Folsom, Galt, Isleton, Rancho Cordova, and Sacramento.

Does “Sacramento” mean anyone with a Sacramento, CA mailing address? Folks who are normally under the City umbrella can burn away? I checked the FAQ document and still couldn’t find anything concrete. Granted, I am not the brightest bulb so if I am missing this important detail, please comment.

Carousel coming to the zoo

KC zoo
Carousel Works’ work at the Kansas City Zoo

According to the Sacramento Zoo email newsletter, the Zoo is planning to add a carousel by next spring.

Yes! A carousel at the Sacramento Zoo! Well, not quite yet… By next spring, we will have a beautiful carousel located in our shaded Redwood Grove area (where the Magellanic Penguin temporary exhibit was previously located). This carousel will feature 32 carefully hand carved animals from the skilled craftsmen at Carousel Works – maybe your favorite animal will be one of them!

The carousel is being crafted by Carousel Works out of Mansfield, Ohio. At approximately 300 feet apart, I’m going to make the bold proclamation that this carousel and the one at Funderland are the two carousels in closest proximity to each other in the entire world. Prove me wrong. Roadside carnivals don’t count.