Broadway? Bound!

As if there weren’t already a million cops there, Sacramento PD has announced a crackdown on speeders on Broadway. Motorists are warned to be extra vigilant while passing the Jamba Juice as chemically fortified juice is the new doughnut, don’t cha know. War on Speed ’05 is expected to last until next week or until some hot strippers show up at the Radisson again.

Proud to Be a Tomato

I missed about four days of blogging, but this morning when I was going over the Bee there were three stories that made me very proud to be a Sacramentan. There is the big sports story, of course: The Monarchs are the queens of the WNBA. Hooray professional basketball champions!

And then of course the City of Sacramento is trying to blanket downtown and midtown in free wireless internet access. (Imagine hundreds of Sac Rags all over the central city, only much more specific: Boulevard Park Rag, for instance.)

But the most important and pride-inducing story for me: the 2004 world champion chili chef lives in Elk Grove. I’d just like to point out to Mrs. Kathy Hipskind that I am free any night of the week to come over for a bowl, and that I will definitely bring the corn bread and RC Cola.

Hmm, three Sac Bee links this morning. I wonder why he’s so pro-Bee this morning? I wonder why he’d ask a leading rhetorical question like that? I wonder if we’ll find out an answer to those rhetorical questions later this week. Stay tuned…?

Elk Grove Gut Bomb

I don’t know anyone who lives in Elk Grove, so I don’t know who to tell about my latest eating experience. If you know someone in Elk Grove, tell them to go and sup full at Todo un Poco. First of all, the atmosphere is cute and dark and candle lit and does not at all suggest the stucco stripmall in which it actually resides. The service was efficient and polite and the portions make Claim Jumper look like a haven for anorexics. My pasta putanesca, (literally translated (no kidding) whore’s pasta)), was fantastic, with slow roasted meats and plenty of veggies in the hearty sauce. My beautiful companion went for a salmon dish with great flavors and a beautiful presentation.

The hallmark of Todo un Poco though, was its bread.
Continue reading “Elk Grove Gut Bomb”

Oh the Chickenity!!

As if the chickens haven’t already gone through enough!

KCRA reports about a truck carrying chickens on Highway 99 yesterday that crashed and then started a grass fire:

“If they weren’t wearing seatbelts, they would’ve been ejected and landed on barbwire … they’re very lucky,” CHP Officer Steven Rice said.

Let this be a lesson to all the other chickens who don’t wear seatbelts.

As Yet Untitled @ The Blue Lamp – September 17, 2005

Friday night, I’m intoxicated to the point of assistance when walking, and I end up at the Blue Lamp. The tinsel like backdrop on the stage visually confuses me, but not nearly to the level the act I’m there to see will.

Apparently this band has a following, for the club was at capacity. This, the “CD Release Party” was an opportunity for “Yet” fans to get a listen to the album in it’s entirety live and pick up a copy.

The band came out on stage with miner’s head lamps and began their set. The immediate and relentless barrage nearly crippled me. I watched in astonishment as five grown men assaulted the audience with the most incomprehensible set of rock music I’ve ever witnessed. I swear the entire band is chemically dependent, from a bass player who is clearly on methamphetamine, to a singer, who we will identify as “Mr. Happy”, having a strong preference to cocaine.
Continue reading “As Yet Untitled @ The Blue Lamp – September 17, 2005”

Saturday Night Hotel Happenings

While you may not normally think of a pseudo-seedy chain hotel as a hot spot for cutting edge entertainment, the Clarion on Auburn and Fulton offers some fairly interesting shows every now and then. Saturday night I’m going to be checking out the Free Hooch Comedy Troupe there. They’re promising a whole new show with totally new material, and have even released excerpts from one of their upcoming sketches called Bush vs. Nature:

BUSH: So, in response to this horrible catastrophe, we will be officially declaring war on the terrorist “Mother Nature” and all choose to support her.
REPORTER: Excuse me Mr. Bush, but do we know who is in league with Mother Nature?
BUSH: Yes we do, and to aide our agents in the field, we have created a novelty deck of playing cards listing the names and faces of our gravest enemies. Besides our Ace of Hearts, Mother Nature, we have the Ace of Clubs, Jack Hannah, Ace of Spades, Swamp Thing and the Ace of Diamonds, Captain Planet.

Anyway, check out their website for more info, show starts at 8PM. You’ll definitely see me there.

To Label Me Is to Negate Me… From Standing, Sitting, Walking…

Came across this blog today that I feel may pique a few of our reader’s interest.

Some lowlights include:

  • …preventing labeled gang members from “standing, sitting, walking, driving, gathering or appearing, anywhere in public view or any place accessible to the public”

  • …most criminal activity involving graffiti, possession or sale of drugs and weapons, vandalism, assault and theft involving nonwhite assailants are labeled as gang-related.

    • Continue reading “To Label Me Is to Negate Me… From Standing, Sitting, Walking…”

    Keeping Score

    I thought it might be appropriate at this juncture to start keeping track of the types of places Sacramento-area people don’t want to see in their neighborhoods. If we can figure out what the common theme is among these places, maybe we’ll get more insight into what makes Sacramento tick. So, presenting these places in the order that engenders the most snark:

    Hooters
    Mosques
    Churches
    Malls

    What’s next… car dealers? Well, actually, yup.

    Any theories?

    Now for Some *Dry* Humor

    Not to break up the comment frenzy with CoolDMZ’s post on the dispute in Franklin (kudos, btw, to all those that really know a lot about CC&Rs…who knew?), but I had to comment on this News10.net article regarding alcohol at CSUC.

    As reported here in August (well, sort of), Chico State not only implemented the online, two-and-half hour alcohol awareness course, they went ahead and just banned the substance they were educating the kids on! Now that’s progressive.

    That sound you’re hearing right now is the stampede of 2,000 young adults making their way down highway 5 to transfer to Sac State.

    “We’re not that kind of people”

    Interesting front-pager today in the Bee about a dispute down in Franklin over a proposed church building. A tiny church (5 people) wants to expand to a whopping 30 and has bought a house in a residential neighborhood to meet in because it was all they could afford. Overvalued much?

    Well, local residents won’t have it. They are trying to get the county to deny the church’s permits to use the house based on a local covenant that restricts “noxious or offensive trade” from being carried on in the neighborhood. How dare they worship their god with music and ritual! Won’t somebody think of the children!?

    Only problem: the “noxious trade” clause is clause 2. Clause 1 just happens to be “Neither the whole or any part of said premises shall be sold, rented or leased to any person or persons not of the White or Caucasian Race.” Class move, Franklin!