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Thanks all you bastions of local news, for reminding us repeatedly today (like, every 15 minutes) that today is one of the busiest travel days of the year (I could have linked you to a story, but really, is it necessary?).

And, I’ll let you “news teams” in on something: Sunday will be another busy one. So you can continue to embed your reporters at the airport so we can continue to get minute-by-minute updates about how busy it is over there.

To tell you the truth, oh ones with bleached teeth and plastic hair, it’s not news to most of us who are alive. But hey, we know how isolated you get in your newsrooms, and we know how you love to report the obvious. So if it’s news to you, it must be worth reporting.

They Say the Neon Lights Are Bright

As much as I’d like to mock his decision to take his one-man crusade to rid this country of Judeo-Christian God references to the stage in his hometown of Elk Grove, Michael Newdow probably made the right choice. How else are people who just aren’t politically and/or religiously motivated to agree or disagree with him going to have an opinion about him, if he doesn’t buy out a high school theater and show what an idiot he is through song and dance?

I keep reading, as in today’s recap of the musical even in the Bee, that Michael Newdow is a smart man. In his own words, his musical revue was meant to educate the public about the Constitution, but he just seems to me like a guy with a middle school education. Something about Newdow really brings out the snob in me. For example, when I hear him talking about the Constitution and Democracy I can’t help but remember the words of a 10 year old I tutored in the fall of 2000, who told me that Al Gore should be president over George W. Bush because Gore was vice president, and vice president was higher than governor.
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New Restaurant Rating System

Not to step on sac-eats toes or anything, but it appears that Sacramento may be adopting a restaurant rating system much like the one used in Los Angeles.

I, for one, am in favor of this new system of green, red, and yellow signage. It is very annoying to visit a restaurant in Sacramento and order your food only to happen upon the hand written inspection results (scribbled, at best) posted on the wall that are either vague and/or detail something disturbing involving warm mayonaisse containers and a cockroach. I am sure the restaurant owners in town might have a different take as who knows what the guidelines are for getting a green card.

I wonder if this will change the way the web site sac-eats brought to our attention in August displays their inspection results. I am sure the Rice Bowl on Florin does, too.
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Sacramento Singles Unite

I came across a list today of the Best Cities for Singles as provided on Forbes.com that I thought was rather amusing. Mostly because of their methodology. But our fair city did manage to rank in the top 15 (#15) which is a step up from 2004’s rank of #31.

{Reader’s Note: Sacramento’s worst ranking came in the category of Nightlife. Kissmekate, this is a special call to action for you to continue pounding the pavement, sipping those foo-foo drinks, and report back on why our Nightlife should kick #28 San Diego’s ass! (we tied for 30 with Salt Lake City)}

It appears that the author’s “Cost of Living Alone” was determined by a proprietary index which incorporated the average cost of a metro area’s apartment rent, a Pizza Hut pizza, a movie ticket and a six-pack of Heineken. Man, there’s gotta be a better way to determine this information, right? Heineken?

And the Singles category was based on the percentage of a metro’s population above the age of 15 that has never been married. 15? {insert West Virginia crack here}

All in all, we beat out some pretty big little cities. Portland, San Diego, Las Vegas, and Salt Lake City to name a few. Not bad Sacramento, not bad at all.

Do you believe the statue is crying real blood?

Just in time for the holidays, a local statue of the Virgin Mary has begun crying tears of blood. Because parishoners at first suspected the work of local hooligans, the on top of it parish priest wiped the tears clean, only to see them reappear over the weekend. And since hoodlums and other assorted toughs usually take the weekends off, that settles that question.

Make sure to head right on over to CBS 13/UPN 31’s page and, without experiencing the statue for yourself, vote in their handy online poll, “Do you believe the statue is crying real blood?” Because whatever the situation is, the only important thing is whether Web site viewers believe it or not.

Blunts & Doobies

I’m sorry, but is 8:15 a.m. just a teensy bit early to smoke a fat one? My light rail commute this morning made me feel so old. I arrived at the 59th street stop running late and at a different stop than I usually use. There I observed a group of 6 teenagers smoking a nauseating amount of pot before walking off to school. I’m not sure if I’m was more annoyed at the smell or that they made me feel so old when I reacted with total shock that such young minds were getting so high that early in the morning. I made a joke with the business man standing beside me and he said they do it every single day there. Can anyone tell me, am I really getting old or is that maybe just the slightest bit excessive? I’m suspecting a combination since I’m also increasingly horrified by MTV. Squirty Tip, this is your chance to go off about medical marijuana, with love from yours truly.

Sheriff Abuse Scandal Rocks Alternative Press

Everybody’s hoppin mad about county jail abuse and the sheriff’s department’s refusal to talk to reporters from the SNR and the Bee. Heckasac’s comments about Shornack and Mendonsa are particularly well-played.

I usually don’t have a comment about these sorts of issues. Maybe because you tend to get quotes like this one from local NAACP President Betty Williams: “In my opinion, these two newspapers are the newest ‘inmates’ of the Sacramento County Jail.” Ouch. So I’ll just say two things. First, it is unfortunate that this problem seems to have started when the Bee made factual errors in its news reports. When we at the Sac Rag condemn a public official, we promise to have either photographic evidence or nothing more than a hunch, nothing in between, and in neither case will we publish a correction.

And second of all, shouldn’t the sheriff be the one guy in town who doesn’t act all diva when he gets negative press? Just make like Gary Cooper and tell us that some dudes just need to get a beat down, Lou. Make us understand.