I get a little cringy when people call me a “restaurant critic.” I’m comfortable with “food writer,” but “restaurant critic” has such a host of connotations — none of them particularly good — that I try to stay away from the term. Think “restaurant critic” and you don’t think of someone fun, laid-back, drinking a beer and asking you if your sister is still single. No, you picture a fussy, possibly mustachioed, narrow-shouldered, whiny loser who will pick apart everything that the waiter (who will also be  picked apart, by the way) brings to the table.Â
I mention that because as a diner I’m pretty uncritical. I let a lot of stuff slide. I don’t give much of a care is service is good, or bad, or horrendous as long as the food is good. There are, however, a few things that drive me f’ing bonkers, and I’ve been running into them a lot lately.
Crappy Bread– Uh huh. I’m looking at you, Plan B, you, Sweetwater, and you, Cafe Marika. It’s really not hard to order good bread from a good bakery. You have absolutely no excuse for the doughy, cold, chewy slices you’re trying to pawn off as dinner bread. Honestly, just buy rolls from Safeway and heat them up. Odds are they’re better than the 1) frozen dough that you’re cooking before the shift starts, 2) cheap bread that you’re using for way too many days, or 3) the misguided crap that you’re trying to make yourself. Call a bakery. Don’t be a hero. Or a tightwad. Continue reading “Super Unimpressive Restaurant Trends”