Tag: idiots

Tales from the Octagon

You need somebody watching your back at all times.
You need somebody watching your back at all times.
For those that were not treated to this little gem in Roseville on Thursday night, please to enjoy (INTERESTING TIDBIT: This story was brought to News10’s attention by an anonymous tip from a viewer).

Patrons inside a Roseville Taco Bell got much more than they bargained for Thursday night when a karate instructor walked inside and tried to place one of his employees under citizen’s arrest…”I walked in the front door and I said Riley Lockett, I said you’re under arrest for theiving from me, right now, citizen’s arrest, right now,” Marinoble said.

Boy, sounds like a real tussle. The story continues to get curiouser…

“I did do something really dumb. I went in there and I was stealing money from him because I wasn’t making enough money to pay for my speeding tickets,” Lockett said.

Well, why didn’t you say so? We all know those dang speeding tickets can get pricey. Especially when you’re 17! Man.

As witnessed by the comments at News10.net, folks are split on this one. It is a tough call.

What do you think? Should Marinoble have called the police and asked for their assistance in apprehending this youngster? What should happen to the teen? He did confess to the crime and was caught on video.

Hey, that’s not funny

When our beloved Peet’s at Lyon Village took a car through the window earlier this year we took our medicine. Accidents happen, right? However, anyone that has been to that location and has seen where the car entered the store may wonder HOW exactly it happened, but I digress. It’s been repaired, no one was injured. Press on.

Well, Sacramento, it’s time to officially send out a “WTF!” now that our favorite burro spot, La Fiesta Taqueria, has taken one on the chin.

Surveillance video from inside the business shows two customers exiting the building through the front door less than five seconds before the car slammed through it from the opposite direction. The car ended up completely inside the building, coming to rest after hitting the counter near the cash register …
The La Fiesta Taqueria boarded up the new hole in the building Sunday evening and will remain closed for about 10 days.

People suck.

Crooks don’t rob people, hoodies do

No women's health diagrams
Creative Commons License photo credit: Robyn Gallagher

Almost nothing is not funny about this Fox 40 story about Arden Fair Mall’s new dress code, which bans baggy pants and hooded sweatshirts.

“That’s retarded,” one shopper told FOX40’s Rowena Shaddox. “I should be able to wear anything I want. I’m a person.”

I’d only really quibble with part of that statement. Though I do agree that the policy has a cognitive disability — it is divorced from reality in a major way. Arden Fair is sticking to their hoodies on this one, though…

Continue reading “Crooks don’t rob people, hoodies do”

Honey, Stop the Car! The Ugliest House in Sacramento is for Sale

We’ve talked about this particular house before, right on the corner of La Sierra and Arden, tricked out with lights that look like severed heads from the Statue of Liberty, and adorned with enough bling to make a 17th century French noble blush. Well, it’s on the market.

In what is probably a wildly optimistic listing, the realtor has stated:

Honey, stop the car! Don’t miss this rare opportunity to purchase the crown jewel of Arden Park! Absolutely no expense was spared in this spectacular 5 bedroom 4 bath 4400+ sq ft home which also includes a 2 bedroom 1 bath 850+ sq ft guest home, totaling almost 5,300 sq ft. Check the comps, this is a tremendous value and similar homes in this zip code are priced far higher and do not offer this level of quality. Bring your pickiest buyers quickly, this home will not last!

At over $1 million, I think that this house might last. Have you seen any similarly tricked out mcmansions in your neighborhood?

DUI killer sues restaurant for serving him booze

In other crazy lawsuit news, convicted DUI manslaughterer Roberto Vellanoweth is suing the Camino Real Restaurant for serving him a “boozed-up mystery drink” that he claims caused the fatal crash in which he killed 4 people one horrifying and tragic day in South Land Park.

Obviously this is another insane what-is-this-world-coming-to lawsuit, but am I the only one who thinks it wouldn’t be a bad thing if somebody put that place out of business? In California there is really no excuse for bad Mexican food. The Yelpers back me up, using phrases like “HUGE mistake,” “thrown up,” “funny odor,” and “fat jerky was that brown ooze it had been swimming in” in their mostly 1-star reviews. If you’ve been to Camino Real Restaurant, you might wonder whether the mystery dosage in Vellanoweth’s drink was Hepatitis A. (This joke was brought to you by Mrs Cool.)

Cost of keeping CA Senators riding in style? $100 mil

CA State Senate chamber
California_Senate_chamber
by Flickr user flap

After a legislative committee votes down a 5% salary reduction for state workers, Darrell Steinberg asks his colleagues in the Senate to take a 5% pay cut. A great factoid in that story is that the operating budget of the CA Senate is $100 million. That’s $2.5 million per member. For reference, that is exactly the same size as the Sacramento Fire Department’s budget. But that includes, you know, the pool … er I mean fighting fires and stuff. For a Senate, $100 million just gets you 40 people to show up — you want extras? That costs more.

Continue reading “Cost of keeping CA Senators riding in style? $100 mil”

Seriously, who takes Arnie seriously?

KRXQ is under fire again for Sacramento’s #1 morning radio show and their wacky antics. The titular Rob Williams & Arnie States of the Rob, Arnie and Dawn Show have drawn nationwide scorn for their hateful comments towards gender dysphoric children and blaming of the transgendered for America’s descent down a slippery slope of zoophilia and bestiality. Arnie is additionally targeted for comments approving of violence against boys wearing high-heeled shoes, and for his thoughts on beating his theoretical high-heeled wearing gay child, if he were to have one.

In case you have never met the trio on 98 Rock, they star as self-caricatures on a radio/comedy show with three hyper-opinionated friends. Think Seinfeld in Cowtown. Arnie plays the fat, dumb, loser, hick. Rob plays the successful capitalist genius. Dawn plays the crazy, loudmouthed, overly-emotional woman. Each show features voyeuristic details of their lives, which helps keep their loyal audience. Regular listeners get to be in on a lot of jokes, like Dawn’s therapeutic vacations, Arnie’s tiny penis, and Rob’s snobbish tastes.

The show makes jokes and provides commentary on retarded children, fat people, gay men, nerds, people with chronic diseases, single mothers, lesbians, people from every foreign country, liberals, illegal immigrants, women, child molesters, environmentalists, and dumb people. They were fined $55,000 in 2004 for “graphic and detailed discussions of various methods that men may employ to disgrace, degrade and humiliate women before, during and after sexual intercourse,” according to the FCC.
Continue reading “Seriously, who takes Arnie seriously?”

Text of Sac Bee’s embarrassing draft post-election editorial

Here is the full text of the cringe-worthy “internal discussion” version of the Sac Bee’s post-election editorial (which was updated yesterday afternoon, here). Items you may need before you read this: vomit receptacle, punching bag, phone number to cancel your subscription.

Editorial: You did it! Uh, so what now?

Published: Wednesday, May. 20, 2009 – 12:00 am | Page 18A
Last Modified: Wednesday, May. 20, 2009 – 9:09 am

Good morning, California voters. Do you feel better, now that you’ve gotten that out of your system?

You wanted to show the state’s politicians just how mad you are at them. And you did. Boy, did you ever.

Continue reading “Text of Sac Bee’s embarrassing draft post-election editorial”

Segregation(?!) at Elk Grove schools

Supernintendo ChalmersAs the Bee reports today, administrators at several schools in the Elk Grove school district are going “old school” to motivate their kids to take standardized tests this spring — as in segregating them by race for motivational speeches:

Students at Laguna could go to any rally they wanted, but the gatherings were designated for specific races – African Americans in the gym, Pacific Islanders in the theater, Latinos in the multipurpose room.

What incredible bad taste and stupidity on the part of the district. If their concern really was to allow staff to “talk about test scores without making any one ethnic group feel singled out in a negative manner,” why not take ethnicity out of the question! Why not give all the kids a pep talk about how they can all do better?

Continue reading “Segregation(?!) at Elk Grove schools”