Tag: idiots

Showing your Arbuckle

With the overwhelmingly lukewarm response to previous editions of Make Us Laugh, I thought it would be fun to throw this one out there. Comment with your witty snark and we’ll let you know who made us laugh.

Man Arrested for Exposing Himself Every Wednesday

An Arbuckle man has been arrested for allegedly exposing and fondling himself in public every Wednesday for at least the last several weeks, according to the Colusa County Sheriff’s Department…They say he’d stand at a window inside his home and exposed and fondle himself. The undercover officer arrested Sweet after witnessing his alleged crimes.

Shocker, I know, there’s a typo in the article.

Whatcha doin’, Mr. Munson?

Ah, humor. You remember humor, right? Laughing, chuckling, ROTFL’ing (for the kids). We could all use a little does of low brow levity, right?

The Sacto 9-1-1 brings us the following onion-esque jewel…

A dispute over bowling etiquette grew into a fight, an alleged assault with a bowling ball that knocked out one man’s tooth and an arrest in Rocklin early this morning…The alleged assault occurred about 12:40 a.m. at the Rocklin AMF Lanes at 2325 Sierra Meadows Drive when two groups of bowlers got into a fist fight, Rocklin police Sgt. Terry Jewell stated in a news release…Two bowlers had approached the lane at the same time, and their dispute over who had right of way grew into a brawl involving six people, Jewell said.

The photo of the alleged assailant is a little too onioney. Are we being had?

Library cash story brings out good comments on SacBee

cold hard cashI expend a lot of hot air trashing the Bee’s comment feature, but today I have to eat my words. (It appears I must also attend mixed metaphor college.) From today’s Bee story about two library branches no longer accepting cash after the branches have experienced thefts.

Commenter “kevinakin1950” smartly questions the legality of refusing to accept American currency, and goes on to point out that a no-cash policy would discriminate against the poor, who presumably don’t have credit cards. (Let’s not get started on all the people out there who are poor because of their credit cards…)

Continue reading “Library cash story brings out good comments on SacBee”

Stayin’ classy in the New Year

KCRA’s report on a shooting death early in the New Year includes one of those “can’t be serious” quotes:

“I was just chillin’ at the party and then all of a sudden I hear that my friend’s been like shot down pretty much.”

“Pretty much” in this case being 100%. Every element of that sentence is classic! This guy reminds me of the Upright Citizens Brigade character “Bong Boy” who smokes so much pot he can’t tell reality from reality television–when he’s being arrested he thinks he is watching “COPS,” etc. It’s possible that’s what’s going on here…

An unsatisfying journey


Make a U-turn, if possible

I don’t know why this story of folks getting lost trying to get to the new Red Hawk casino using their GPS devices makes me chuckle. Perhaps it’s the fact that I’ve been in the same situation before trying to decide if I should use my common sense or hand my faith over to a talking box when driving to a new destination.

I have such a love/hate relationship with my Garmin Nuvi. On one hand, it’s been a life saver when I’m forced to take side roads or alternate routes due to a traffic accident or construction. On the other hand it, it’s caused many delays especially when I approach forks in the road or subtle turns. Hard right or soft right? Veer right or stay to the right which is actually straight with no turn at all?

Back to the Bee story…

Continue reading “An unsatisfying journey”

The Worst Example of “Showing Your Sacramento” — Ever

From today’s Bee story detailing the October 4 murder of a college student in San Diego, in which the primary suspects — inlcuding the son of Fabian Nunez — are from the Sacramento area:

A woman who was hosting the men at her apartment told police the four were drinking and showing off their knives. They talked about wanting to show people “how we do it in Sac-Town,” according to the warrant.

I, for one, was unaware that knifing people while intoxicated was how we did it in Sac-town. I thought we had cornered the market instead on vehicular property crimes.

Actually, how do I say that this whole episode is sickening? Oh, like this: This whole episode is sickening.

Virginity Auction!

Future Sac State grad student “Natalie Dylan” is setting the blogosphere and horny-man media afire by offering her virginity in exchange for tuition. Her current offer is $250,000, which makes me wonder why she doesn’t opt to pay for an education from a more prestigious university.

Oh, that’s right, she’s a virgin whore selling her body with assistance from Howard Stern. Never mind.

More on the Corti move

CoolDMZ wouldn’t be earning CoolDMZ’s pay if CoolDMZ wasn’t a contrarian on the Corti Brothers situation. I’m having trouble mustering a lot of sympathy for the Cortis after reading the Bee’s follow-up story today. I suppose I liked Corti Bros as much as the next guy, though my patronage of things that can be described as “upscale” is seldom to never. (Unless Nordstrom Rack counts as upscale?)

I’m not shocked that Heather Fargo called Darrell Corti and offered the city’s help in finding a new location. Would that help entail explaining how a month to month lease works? All I keep reading is that Corti fans will go wherever he decides to move, even if it is out of town. I hope there are some patrons who are be pissed that a 60 year old company allowed themselves to operate on a wing and a prayer for 20 years despite knowing how loyal their fans were. What if you live down the street, have been shopping there since 1970, and can’t drive?

Continue reading “More on the Corti move”

Sac Bee comments must be stopped – UPDATED

This isn’t the first time that the racist idiocy that is the comments box at the Sac Bee has come to my attention. We here at the Rag, and other bloggers like Heckasac have often pointed out the problem.

Today’s racist idiocy comes from this story of the shooting death of a young woman in Oak Park: Continue reading “Sac Bee comments must be stopped – UPDATED”